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- Our Radio Stations | South African Tours
RADIO SAM BROADCASTING STUDIO & OUR RADIO STATION Welcome to Radio SAM Broadcaster Germany Broadcasting and Live Music 24/7 Stream Links & Zeno Tune-Ins on the Radio SAM Broadcaster Germany ,Our Radio Stations. Our Main Websites: https://radio-sam-broadcaster.de.tl/Home.htm Our English Website: https://radio-sam-broadcaster-germany.page.tl/ Our Blogspot: https://radiosambroadcastergermany.blogspot.com/ Our Second E-Mail: a.dezius@gmail.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/radiosambroadcastergermany/ Tweeter: https://twitter.com/RadioSAMBroadc1 Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/andreas.dezius/ Streema: https://streema.com/radios/Radio_SAM_Music_Radio_SAM_International_Music Zeno Media Fm: https://zeno.fm/radio-sam-broadcaster-germany4xqvqt35p48uv/ Online Radio Box: Radio SAM Germany Our Main Website: https://radio-sam-music.de.tl/HOME.htm Radio SAM Germany Live On Line Radio: https://liveonlineradio.net/de/radio-sam-germany Radio SAM Germany Online Radio Box: https://onlineradiobox.com/de/samgermany/?cs=de.samgermany&played=1 Radio SAM Broadcaster on Online Radio Box: https://onlineradiobox.com/de/sambroadcastergermany/?cs=de.sambroadcastergermany&played=1 Radio SAM Broadcaster on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/radiosambroadcastergermany/ Radio SAM Broadcaster Tune-In Links : Radio Links of Radio Stations Stream Links & Zeno Tune-Ins on the Radio SAM Broadcaster Germany ,Our Radio Stations. 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Its now possible to advertise with Radio SAM Broadcaster Germany and Radio SAM Germany based on the following formats ( Both Image and Text Ads ): >>>> Large Leaderboard (970×90) >>>> Wide Skyscraper (160×600) >>>> Large Rectangle (336×280) Its fairly easy to submit your Ads on Radio SAM Broadcaster Germany and Radio SAM Germany , the only thing that is required for this is a Google Adword account. You can always sign up for such an account by Clicking Here. Through this process your Ads can go live in our site with the minimum amount of trouble, without requiring any head scratching Ad setup procedure. In short, after you are done completing you Ad, just get to the step that says “Target Your Ad”, click the “list URLs” radio button, enter “Radio SAM Broadcaster Germany and Radio SAM Germany” and after that you need to click on the “Get available placements” option. Finally by completing the requiring steps, you should be able to Advertise with us. Feel free to tips us with your valuable suggestions on improving the overall experience of Radio SAM Broadcaster Germany and Radio SAM Germany. Contact Us. View More Andreas Dezius Radio Host & DJ Music Curator Executive Board member, Co-founder and former of Radio SAM Broadcaster Live Pamela Coetzee Radio Host & Social Media Manager Board member, Web Designer Andre Radio Host & Social Media Manager Board member, Supporter and Advertiser. Designer Andrew May Radio Host & Program Advertiser Board member,Advertiser Supporter. Welcome to Radio SAM Broadcaster Germany Welcome to our entertainment radio station, Radio Sam broadcasting live from Germany. Tune in to enjoy the best music and stay up-to-date with latest news and events. Thank you for choosing us as your go-to source entertainment. Information about the radio We built ‘Radio SAM Broadcaster Germany’ for YOU…….. For you to NEVER miss that amazing event. We strive to, at all times, try to take the hassle out of finding out where that favourite artist is performing, have a look at some other artists also performing, and at what venue it is going to be held, at what time, and maybe it will be the end of life as you know it. We love radio! Radio SAM Broadcaster Germany makes life a little easier for everyone who feels the same way. We offer you the opportunity to listen to internet radio from all over the world in a particularly uncomplicated manner and free of charge. With the push of a button, you can also record it very easily thanks to Radio SAM Broadcaster Germany. Don't you ever want to miss your favorite internet radio radio again? Our tools make it possible! You can put together your own program in the Radio SAM Broadcaster Germany player, in the app and directly on our website. This is then conveniently recorded and saved for you. If you just want to listen to your favorite online radio stations, you can of course do so here: You can click through the music genres or topics you want and you will find enough material to stream continuously for days! Here, the many German channels are just a few clicks away from the small regional channel from Italy. Thanks to the radio cloud, you don't even have to turn on your computer or smartphone to record, you don't even have to be at home. The scheduled shows are simply saved in the cloud, where you can easily stream them or download them for later use. Radio programs and tips - radio plays and more That's all well and good, but you don't even know what you want to hear in the wide landscape of internet radio? No wonder, after all, there are many of programs on all sorts of genres. Our editorial team therefore studies the radio program every week and always has a few tips ready to make your choice easier: There is also something for the little listeners on a separate page for children. Do you want to let off steam in the wide world of internet radio? Radio SAM Broadcaster Germany makes this particularly easy for you. You can listern completely free of charge and without obligation. In your own account under “Radio SAM Broadcaster Germany” you can start immediately, put together your own program and use the free radio cloud storage of two hours. In the download area you will find the Radio SAM Broadcaster Germany players for PC and Mac and the app is available for free download in the app store for iOS, Android or Windows Phone. 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- Western Cape | South African Tours
Western Cape The Western Cape Province of South Africa is on the southwestern coast of South Africa. It is the fourth largest of the South African provinces and is the province with the third most residents. The province borders the Northern Cape Province and the Eastern Cape Province. The largest cities in this province are Cape Town and George. The popular Garden Route is also in the Western Cape Province. Read more about South Africa’s 9 provinces here. The Regions of the Western Cape For local government purposes, the Western Cape Province is divided into one metropolitan municipality, the City of Cape Town, and five district municipalities. The five district municipalities consist of 24 local municipalities. City of Cape Town The City of Cape Town is on the southwestern side of the Western Cape Province. It is the smallest of the regions of the Western Cape with the highest population. In addition to the oldest buildings in South Africa, Cape Town offers many wonderful outdoor attractions. Cape Winelands District Municipality The seat of the Cape Winelands District Municipality is in Worcester. This district is the third-largest of the districts in the Western Cape, with the third-largest population of the districts. The Winelands is popular with tourists and features a variety of wineries in the towns of Franschhoek and Stellenbosch. Central Karoo District Municipality The Central Karoo District Municipality is the largest of the districts with the lowest population. Most people experience the Karoo when they drive from Johannesburg to Cape Town and stop halfway at places like Beaufort-West. Garden Route District Municipality The Garden Route District Municipality is home to the popular Garden Route, one of the most beautiful road trips to do in South Africa. The Garden Route District’s largest city, and one of the oldest towns in South Africa, is George. Other towns in this district include Knysna, Mossel Bay and Plettenberg Bay. Overberg District Municipality. Bredasdorp is the seat of the Overberg District Municipality. The Overberg offers stunning mountain ranges, fynbos, coastal vistas, rolling wheat, and canola fields. You can find the beautiful Clarens Drive and the Stony Point penguins in the Overberg District. Towns in the Overberg include Strand, Swellendam, Gordon’s Bay, Hermanus, Kleinmond and Gansbaai. West Coast District Municipality The seat of the West Coast District Municipality is Moorreesburg. The district is located above Cape Town. It is the second largest of the Western Cape’s districts and has charming fishing villages and fresh seafood. Some of the most visited places in this district are Saldanha Bay, Langebaan and Paternoster. Wine Routes in The Western Cape Province The Western Cape Province has the following wine routes to tour: Helderberg Wine Route Franschhoek Wine Route Paarl Wine Route Robertson Wine Route Stellenbosch Wine Route Worcester Wine Route The Complete List of Train Travel Options Between Johannesburg and Cape Town This post contains affiliate links. If you click on any of these links to make a purchase, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. There are several frequently asked questions tourists to South Africa have about train travel. Since the two most visited cities are Cape Town and Johannesburg, the first is whether there is a train from Johannesburg to Cape Town, and the answer is that there are several options for overnight train travel between Johannesburg and Cape Town. Another question is whether there is a high-speed train between Johannesburg and Cape Town. The answer to this question is no. The Gautrain is a high-speed train in Gauteng, but there is no Gautrain line between Johannesburg and Cape Town. Your options for train travel between Johannesburg and Cape Town depend on your budget, time in South Africa and what you want from your travel experience. Let’s explore the options for overnight train travel between Johannesburg and Cape Town, which includes the Shosholoza Meyl, Rovos Rail and the Blue Train. Bus travel between Cape Town and Johannesburg may suit your budget better if you are on a budget. Train Travel Between Johannesburg and Cape Town: Shosholoza Meyl The Shosholoza Meyl is a passenger train operated by the Passenger Rail Agency of South Africa (PRASA). It travels between Johannesburg, Cape Town, East London, Port Elizabeth and Durban every week at reasonable rates. The trains travel between Park Station in Johannesburg and Cape Town’s train station. The train journey between Cape Town and Johannesburg lasts 25 hours and covers a distance of 1600 km across South Africa. The Shosholoza Meyl is a dedicated long-distance passenger train service, offering economy and deluxe sleeper class trains. In both tourist and premier classes, compartments have 2 or 4 berths. Solo travellers share a 4-bed compartment with solo travellers of the same gender. The leatherette benches in the compartments convert to bunk beds at night. Each compartment has a washbasin with hot and cold water under the table. There is a communal toilet, lockable shower cubicle and changing area at the end of the coach. Train Travel Between Johannesburg and Cape Town: The Shosholoza Meyl Service Offerings You can book either economy or deluxe tickets on the Shosholoza Meyl. You can also transport your car between Johannesburg and Cape Town. Economy or Tourist Class The restaurant in the tourist class coach makes South African meals which you can purchase with cash only. You can also buy snacks from a service trolley or bring food. You can get bedding from an attendant at R75 per person. Remember, the tourist class coaches do not have air conditioning, but you can open the train’s windows for fresh air and a cool breeze. The tourist class Shosholoza Meyl travels between Johannesburg and Cape Town on Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. The train leaves Johannesburg at 10:30 on these days and arrives in Cape Town the following day at 12:40. The journey is an hour longer than the premier class and takes 16 hours. In addition, the tourist train stops at many towns, whereas the premier train trains only have two stops during the journey. Deluxe or Premier Class for Train Travel Between Johannesburg and Cape Town When you book a deluxe ticket, you travel in the Premier Classe. One of the premier class ticket benefits is access to the VIP lounges in Johannesburg and Cape Town before boarding the train. In the Premier Classe, you get a classy food and beverage schedule. You get welcome drinks and snacks comprising tea/coffee and muffins when the train departs, a full English breakfast, a four-course lunch, high tea and a five-course dinner while travelling. Coffee/tea and juices are complimentary when travelling premier class, but you will pay extra for alcoholic beverages and sodas. You eat meals in a restaurant car and access the premier classe’s lounge coach with a television. The Premier Classe coaches have air conditioning. Your premier class fare includes bedding, towels and additional luxury amenities. The premier classe’s Shosholoza Meyl travels once a week on Thursdays from Johannesburg and Cape Town. The train leaves Johannesburg at 10:30 on a Thursday and arrives in Cape Town at 12:40 on a Friday. The train travels via Kimberley and Beaufort West to get to Cape Town. You can travel from Cape Town to Johannesburg in premier class once a week on Tuesdays. The train leaves Cape Town at 9:05 on a Tuesday morning and arrives in Johannesburg at 11:03 on a Wednesday. The train travels via Kimberley and Beaufort West to get to Johannesburg. How Much Are the Shosholoza Meyl Train’s Prices for Train Travel Between Johannesburg and Cape Town? The fare is R690 per trip for tourist class tickets, making this the cheapest train from Johannesburg to Cape Town. The premier class ticket costs R3120 per trip and is reasonable for a more luxurious train travel experience. How Do I Book the Shosholoza Meyl for Train Travel Between Johannesburg and Cape Town? The Shosholoza Website does not contain much information on the service. However, you can book through the following sales and reservation contact numbers: 086 000 8888 / (+27 11) 774 4555. The call centre operates from 8:00 to 16:00 on weekdays and 8:00 to 12:00 on weekends and public holidays. An online booking alternative is to book through a third-party website by completing a form to get a quote. You cannot make a direct and immediate online booking for travel on the Shosholoza Meyl, and you cannot book tourist class tickets or get a quote for longer than 90 days before your travel date. You can book premier class tickets one year before your travel dates. for Train Travel Between Johannesburg and Cape Town: Considerations for The Shosholoza Meyl Many travellers complain about the train often leaving late and last-minute cancellations. For the most updated information on your journey, follow the South African Railways on Facebook or Twitter. Train Travel Between Pretoria and Cape Town: Rovos Rail’s Train Rovos Rail started in 1989 and offers a steam-train experience. They provide several train journeys, including the first-class train between Pretoria and Cape Town. During the trip, guests visit the historic village of Matjiesfontein, with a museum on its platform. The train also stops in Kimberley to visit the Diamond Mine Museum and the Big Hole. Here is a great place to stay if you visit Kimberley. Each train includes coaches for accommodation, dining and a lounge. There is also a small gift shop, a smoking lounge and an observation car with a balcony. The Rovos Train has no radios or television sets on board. Train travel between Johannesburg and Cape Town: The Big Hole Kimberley South Africa The Rovos Train does not use Pretoria Station, but the Rovos Rail Station in Capital Park, Pretoria. The train departs from Pretoria at 11:00 on the first travel day. During the second travel day, guests visit Kimberley, and on the third travel day, they see Matjiesfontein. The train arrives in Cape Town on the third day at 18:00. The journey from Cape Town to Pretoria has the same schedule, just in reverse. Choice of Compartments The Rovos Train offers a variety of compartments to choose from, including: Royal suites: These suites have a private lounge area and an en-suite bathroom with a Victorian bath, separate shower, basin and toilet. Guests can choose between double beds or twin beds. Deluxe suites: Each suite has a lounge area and en-suite bathroom with a shower, toilet and basin. Guests can choose between double beds or twin beds. Pullman suites: These are available on long journeys and have an en-suite bathroom with a shower, toilet and basin. During the day, these suites have a couch for seating that converts to a bed at night. How Much Does a Trip on the Rovos Rail Cost? The ticket prices depend on the type of compartment you book and whether you share a compartment or travel alone. A single supplement is a 50% add-on to a compartment’s regular price. The prices for the train tickets between Pretoria and Cape Town or from Cape Town to Pretoria are: Type of suitePrice in South African RandPrice in USD Pullman SuiteR26 500$1 875 Deluxe SuiteR39 500$2 794 Royal SuiteR53 500$3 785 1ZAR = USD0.0707 How to Book Tickets for Rovos Rail? You can submit an information request, a quote, or a booking on the Rovos Rail Website. Train Travel Between Pretoria and Cape Town: Blue Train The Blue train launched in 1946 and provides a luxury hotel experience. If you love old steam trains and want a first-class experience, this train is for you! The Blue Train does not travel from Johannesburg to Cape Town but from Pretoria Station to Cape Town station and between Cape Town and Pretoria. The Blue Train typically travels between Pretoria and Cape Town weekly. Train travel between Johannesburg and Cape Town: the University of South Africa in Pretoria, South Africa When travelling on the Blue Train, you can choose between suites with either twin or double beds. Each suite has an en suite bathroom. The suites also include the following: Radio and move channels. A digital entertainment area. A selection of music CVs and DVD movies. The train is air-conditioned, and the windows remain closed at all times. A butler is available in each coach, and room service is available 24 hours daily. When travelling from Pretoria to Cape Town, the Blue Train leaves Pretoria Station at 14:00 and arrives at Cape Town station at noon on the third day of the journey. The reverse journey from Cape Town to Pretoria has similar departure and arrival times. The Blue Train travels between Pretoria and Cape Town once a week. Depending on the month, there are between 3 and 5 trips a month. For the updated schedule, check their website. There is also a Blue Train route between Pretoria and the Kruger National Park. Compartment Options on The Blue Train You can also choose between a deluxe or luxury experience on the Blue Train. The deluxe compartment has either a double bed or two single beds. It also comes with an en-suite shower or small bath. The luxury compartments are identical, except they have a full bath in the en-suite bathroom. How Long Is a Trip on The Blue Train? The Blue Train travels 1660 km between Pretoria and Cape Town. The train journey on the blue train takes three days and includes an excursion in Kimberley in the Northern Cape Province of South Africa if there is time and the weather is good. Guests visit the Kimberley Open Mine Museum and the Big Hole in Kimberley. What Should I Wear on The Blue Train? When travelling on the Blue Train, you must take formal clothing for dinner. Men need to wear a jacket or waistcoat with a tie , while ladies need elegant evening wear. During the day, the dress code is smart casual, but you cannot wear shorts or flip-flops in the dining car. How Much Does a Trip on The Blue Train Cost? The Blue Train’s rates include all meals, high tea every afternoon, alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks and excursions. The fare does not include French champagne, caviare or telephone calls. When you make your reservation, you can specify if you need special meals (such as halal, vegetarian or kosher) and whether you prefer a double or twin-bed suite. The rates for travelling on the Blue Train depend on whether you travel in the low or high season. The low season is from 1 January to 31 August each year and from 16 November to 31 December. The peak or high season is from 1 September to 15 November each year. The Blue Train’s rates from Pretoria to Cape Town or from Cape Town to Pretoria are: Type of bookingLow season (ZAR)Low season (USD)High season (ZAR)High season (ZAR) Luxury sharingR28 915$2 045R35 990$2 546 Luxury singleR43 370$3 068R53 980$3 819 Deluxe sharingR23 085$1 633R28 495$2 016 Deluxe singleR34 630$2 450R42 730$3 023 1ZAR = USD0.0707 How to Book Tickets for The Blue Train? You can book your tickets for the Blue Train online. About Western Cape The Western Cape (Afrikaans : Wes-Kaap [ˈvɛskɑːp] ; Xhosa : iNtshona-Koloni) is a province of South Africa , situated on the south-western coast of the country. It is the fourth largest of the nine provinces with an area of 129,449 square kilometres (49,981 sq mi), and the third most populous , with an estimated 7 million inhabitants in 2020.About two-thirds of these inhabitants live in the metropolitan area of Cape Town , which is also the provincial capital. The Western Cape was created in 1994 from part of the former Cape Province . The two largest cities are Cape Town and George . Geography Topography of the Western Cape. The Roggeveld and Nuweveld mountains are part of the Great Escarpment (see diagrams below). The other mountain ranges belong to the Cape Fold Belt , also shown in the diagrams below. The Western Cape's inland boundary lies for the most part at the foot of the Great Escarpment. The Western Cape is roughly L-shaped, extending north and east from the Cape of Good Hope , in the southwestern corner of South Africa. It stretches about 400 kilometres (250 mi) northwards along the Atlantic coast and about 500 kilometres (300 mi) eastwards along the South African south coast (Southern Indian Ocean ). It is bordered on the north by the Northern Cape and on the east by the Eastern Cape . The total land area of the province is 129,462 square kilometres (49,986 sq mi),: 9 about 10.6% of the country's total. It is roughly the size of England or the State of Louisiana . Its capital city and largest city is Cape Town , and some other major cities include Stellenbosch , Worcester , Paarl , and George . The Garden Route and the Overberg are popular coastal tourism areas. The Western Cape is the southernmost region of the African continent with Cape Agulhas as its southernmost point, only 3,800 kilometres (2,400 mi) from the Antarctic coastline. The coastline varies from sandy between capes, to rocky to steep and mountainous in places. The only natural harbour is Saldanha Bay on the west coast, about 140 kilometres (90 mi) north of Cape Town. However a lack of fresh water in the region meant that it has only recently been used as a harbour. The province's main harbour was built in Table Bay , which in its natural state was fully exposed to the northwesterly storms that bring rain to the province in winter, as well as the almost uninterrupted dry southeasterly winds in summer. But fresh water coming off Table Mountain and Devil's Peak allowed the early European settlers to build Cape Town on the shores of this less than satisfactory anchorage. Topography The province is topographically exceptionally diverse. Most of the province falls within the Cape Fold Belt , a set of nearly parallel ranges of sandstone folded mountains of Cambrian -Ordovician age (the age of the rocks is from 510 to about 330 million years ago; their folding into mountains occurred about 350 to about 270 million years ago). The height of the mountain peaks in the different ranges varies from 1,000 metres (3,300 ft) to 2,300 metres (7,500 ft). The valleys between ranges are generally very fertile, as they contain the weathered loamy soils of the Bokkeveld mudstones (see the diagrams below). The far interior forms part of the Karoo . This region of the province is generally arid and hilly, with a prominent escarpment that runs close to the Province's most inland boundary. A diagrammatic 400 km south–north crosssection through the Cape at approximately 21° 30' E (i.e. near Calitzdorp in the Little Karoo), showing the relationship between the Cape Fold Mountains (and their geological structure) and the geology of the Little and Great Karoo , as well as the position of the Great Escarpment . The colour code for the geological layers is the same as those used in the diagram above. The heavy black line flanked by opposing arrows is the fault that runs for nearly 300 km along the southern edge of the Swartberg Mountains. The Swartberg Mountain range owes some of its great height to upliftment along this fault line. The subsurface structures are not to scale. Escarpment The escarpment marks the southwestern edge of South Africa's central plateau (see the middle and bottom diagrams on the left).[10] [12] It runs parallel to the entire South African coastline, except in the very far northeast, where it is interrupted by the Limpopo River valley, and in the far northwest, where it is interrupted by the Orange River valley. The 1,000-kilometre-long (620 mi) northeastern stretch of the escarpment is called the Drakensberg , which is geographically and geologically quite distinct from the Cape Fold Mountains , which originated much earlier and totally independently of the origin of the escarpment. Rivers The principal rivers of the province are the Berg and Olifants which drain into the Atlantic Ocean, and the Breede and Gourits which drain into the Indian Ocean. Flora The Red Disa (disa uniflora ) is an orchid endemic to the Western Cape. It is the province's official flower. The Cape Floral Kingdom is one of the world's most diverse, and is found exclusively in the Cape. The vegetation of the region is also extremely diverse, with one of the world's seven floral kingdoms almost exclusively endemic to the province, namely the Cape Floral Kingdom , most of which is covered by Fynbos (from the Afrikaans meaning "Fine Bush" (Dutch: Fijnbosch), though precisely how it came to be referred to as such, is uncertain.). These evergreen heathlands are extremely rich in species diversity, with at least as many plant species occurring on Table Mountain as in the entire United Kingdom. It is characterised by various types of shrubs, thousands of herbaceous flowering plant species and some grasses.[ With the exception of the Silver tree, Leucadendron argenteum , which only grows on the granite and clay soils of the Cape Peninsula , open fynbos is generally treeless except in the wetter mountain ravines where patches of Afromontane forest persist. The West Coast and Little Karoo are semi-arid regions and are typified by many species of succulents and drought-resistant shrubs and acacia trees. The Garden Route on the south coast (between the Outeniqua Mountains and the Southern Indian Ocean ) is extremely lush, with temperate rainforest (or Afromontane Forest ) covering many areas adjacent to the coast, in the deep river valleys and along the southern slopes of the Outeniqua mountain range.[citation needed ] Typical species are hardwoods of exceptional height, such as Yellowwood , Stinkwood and Ironwood trees. Climate - Cape Liberal Tradition - Cape Independence Movement Climate The Western Cape is climatologically diverse, with many distinct micro- and macroclimates created by the varied topography and the influence of the surrounding ocean currents. These are the warm Agulhas Current which flows southwards along South Africa's east coast, and the cold Benguela Current which is an upwelling current from the depths of the South Atlantic Ocean along South Africa's west coast.[18] [19] Thus climatic statistics can vary greatly over short distances. Most of the province is considered to have a Mediterranean climate with cool, wet winters and warm, dry summers. Both the Great Karoo and Little Karoo , in the interior, have an arid to semi-arid climate with cold, frosty winters and hot summers with occasional thunderstorms . The Garden Route and the Overberg on the south coast have a maritime climate with cool, moist winters and mild, moist summers. Mossel Bay in the Garden Route is considered[by whom? ] to have the second mildest climate worldwide after Hawaii.[citation needed ] The La Niña phase of the El Niño-Southern Oscillation cycle tends to increase rainfall in this region in the dry season (November to April). The effects of El Niño on rainfall in southern Africa differ between the summer and winter rainfall areas. Winter rainfall areas tend to get higher rainfall than normal and summer rainfall areas tend to get less rain. The effect on the summer rainfall areas is stronger and has led to severe drought in strong El Niño events. Sea surface temperatures off the west and south coasts of South Africa are affected by ENSO via changes in surface wind strength. During El Niño the south-easterly winds driving upwelling are weaker which results in warmer coastal waters than normal, while during La Niña the same winds are stronger and cause colder coastal waters. These effects on the winds are part of large scale influences on the tropical Atlantic and the South Atlantic High -pressure system, and changes to the pattern of westerly winds further south. There are other influences not known to be related to ENSO of similar importance. Some ENSO events do not lead to the expected changes. Thunderstorms are generally rare in the province (except in the Karoo ) with most precipitation being of a frontal or orographic nature. Extremes of heat and cold are common inland, but rare near the coast. Snow is a common winter occurrence on the Western Cape Mountains occasionally reaching down into the more inland valleys. Otherwise, frost is relatively rare in coastal areas and many of the heavily cultivated valleys. Cape Liberal Tradition The Cape has had a long tradition of holding liberal values. For example, the Cape Qualified Franchise before the Union of South Africa. Cape Qualified Franchise Main article: Cape Qualified Franchise The Cape Qualified Franchise was the system of non-racial franchise that was adhered to in the Cape Colony , and in the Cape Province in the early years of the Union of South Africa . Qualifications for the right to vote at parliamentary elections were applied equally to all men, regardless of race. This local system of multi-racial suffrage was later gradually restricted, and eventually abolished, under various National Party and United Party governments. In 1930 white women were enfranchised , and in 1931 property qualifications for white voters were removed . In 1936 black voters were then removed from the common voters' rolls and allowed only to elect separate members in 1936, and subsequently denied all representation in the House of Assembly in 1960. Coloured voters similarly followed in 1958 and 1970 , respectively. Contribution of the Western Cape in the National Youth Uprisings The Black Consciousness Movement (BCM) was a grassroots anti-Apartheid activist movement that emerged in South Africa in the mid-1960s out of the political vacuum created by the jailing and banning of the African National Congress and Pan Africanist Congress leadership after the Sharpeville Massacre in 1960. The BCM represented a social movement for political consciousness. In December 1968, the South African Student Organization (SASO) was formed at a conference held in Marianhill, Natal. The conference was exclusively attended by Black students. After its launch, SASO became the medium through which black consciousness ideology spread to schools and other university campuses across the country. In 1974, South African Minister of Bantu Education and Development MC Botha, constituted the imposition of using Afrikaans as a medium of instruction in black schools, effective with students in Grade 7 (Standard 5) upwards.As early as March 1976, students began passive resistance against Afrikaans, fueling the outbreak of the Soweto Uprising on 16 June 1976. Consequently, the student protests spread to other parts of the country, and Cape Town became a pivotal site for Western Cape student revolt. Student leaders at the University of the Western Cape (UWC) and the University of Cape Town (UCT) organised marches. Poster parades by UWC and Black Power Salute marches by UCT was broken by the police, resulting in 73 students getting arrested and detained at Victor Verster Prison , near Paarl. On 1 September 1976, the unrest spread to the city of Cape Town itself. Approximately 2000 black students from Western Cape townships, namely Langa, Nyanga and Gugulethu, matched the Cape Town central business district (CBD). Coloured students also contributed to the protests by peacefully marching to the city, but were blockaded by the police in the CBD. The protests turned violent when coloured students started burning schools, libraries and a magistrate's court in support of the student revolt. Thereafter, 200,000 coloured workers partook in a two-day strike staying away from work in the Cape Town area.[citation needed ] According to a report by the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC), the Western Cape experienced the second highest number of deaths and casualties associated with the 1976 uprising protests. 1994 and the Western Cape post-apartheid In 1994, at the introduction of the Interim Constitution and the first non-racial election , South Africa's original provinces and bantustans were abolished and nine new provinces were established. The former Cape Province was divided into the Western Cape, Northern Cape , Eastern Cape and part of North West . In the 1994 election, the Western Cape was one of two provinces that did not elect an African National Congress (ANC) provincial government (the other being KwaZulu-Natal ). The National Party (NP) won 53% of the votes and 23 seats in the 42-seat provincial legislature, and Hernus Kriel , a former Minister of Law and Order, was elected Premier . He resigned in 1998 and was replaced by Gerald Morkel . The 1999 election marked the beginning of a period of great turbulence in Western Cape politics. No party achieved an absolute majority in the provincial parliament, as the ANC won 18 seats while the New National Party (NNP), successor to the NP, won 17. The NNP went into coalition with the Democratic Party (DP), which won 5 seats, to form a government, and Morkel remained Premier. In 2000 the DP and the NNP formalised their coalition by forming the Democratic Alliance (DA). In 2001, however, the NNP broke with the DA over the removal of Peter Marais from office as Mayor of Cape Town by DA leader Tony Leon . The NNP instead went into coalition with the ANC; Gerald Morkel, who was opposed to the split, resigned as Premier and was replaced by Peter Marais. In 2002 Marais resigned as Premier due to a sexual harassment scandal, and was replaced by NNP leader Marthinus van Schalkwyk . During the 2003 floor-crossing period four members of the provincial parliament crossed to the ANC, giving it an absolute majority of 22 seats in the 42-seat house. However, the ANC remained in coalition with the NNP and van Schalkwyk remained as Premier. In the 2004 election , there was again no absolute winner in the provincial parliament; this time the ANC won 19 seats, the DA won 12, and the NNP won 5. The ANC-NNP coalition continued in power, but van Schalkwyk took up a ministerial post in the national cabinet and was replaced as Premier by the ANC's Ebrahim Rasool . The NNP was finally dissolved after the 2005 floor-crossing period and its members joined the ANC, again giving that party an absolute majority of 24 seats. In the 2007 floor-crossing period the ANC gained a further three members of the provincial parliament. In 2008 Rasool resigned as Premier due to internal party politics, and was replaced by Lynne Brown . The 2009 election marked a significant change in Western Cape politics, as the Democratic Alliance won 51% of the votes and an absolute majority of 22 seats in the provincial parliament, while the ANC won 14 seats with 31% of the vote. The DA leader Helen Zille was elected Premier. In 2010 the Independent Democrats , which had won 3 seats with 5% of the vote, merged with the DA. In the 2014 election the DA won 59% of the votes and an absolute majority of 26 seats in the provincial parliament, while the ANC won 14 seats with 32% of the vote. In 2018 King Khoebaha Cornelius III Declared the independence of the "Sovereign State of Good Hope". In the 2019 election , the DA retained their majority in the province, but with a reduction in support. It had won 24 seats with 55%. Helen Zille was term-limited and the DA premier candidate Alan Winde succeeded her. The ANC also lost support. It had received 12 seats with 28% support, its lowest showing since 1994. Veteran politician Peter Marais returned to the provincial parliament as the sole representative of the Freedom Front Plus . Patricia de Lille formed another party, Good , and it achieved a seat. The DA continued to win a majority of the votes in the 2021 municipal elections , receiving 54% of the vote province-wide, with support in Cape Town at 58%. Cape Independence Movement Main article: Cape independence Since the late 2000s there has been growing support for Western Cape, or Greater Cape, independence from South Africa.[citation needed ] Political parties such as the Referendum Party , Freedom Front Plus and organisations such as the Cape Independence Advocacy Group and CapeXit, wish to bring forth the constitutional and peaceful secession of the Western Cape. Proponents claim substantial support for the idea, with CapeXit having over 800,000 signed mandates in May 2021. Additionally, a poll conducted in 2023 by Victory Research on behalf of the Cape Independence Advocacy Group claimed that 58% of the Western Cape's registered voters would support independence, while 68% would support a referendum on the issue. Law and government - Municipalities - District and metropolitan municipalities Law and government Main articles: Government of the Western Cape and Politics of the Western Cape Provincial government headquarters in Cape Town The provincial government is established under the Constitution of the Western Cape , which was adopted in 1998. The people of the province elect the 42-member Western Cape Provincial Parliament every five years by a system of party-list proportional representation . The sixth provincial parliament was elected in 2024 ; 24 seats are held by the Democratic Alliance , 8 by the African National Congress , 3 by the Patriotic Alliance , 2 by the Economic Freedom Fighters , and 1 each by the African Christian Democratic Party , Al Jama-ah , Good , Freedom Front Plus , and National Coloured Congress . The provincial parliament is responsible for legislating within its responsibilities as set out by the national constitution ; these responsibilities include agriculture, education, environment, health services, housing, language policies, tourism, trade, and welfare. The provincial parliament also elects the Premier of the Western Cape to lead the provincial executive. Alan Winde , a member of the DA and former Provincial Minister of Community Safety, has served as Premier since the 2019 provincial election . The Premier appoints ten members of the provincial legislature to serve as a cabinet of ministers, overseeing the departments of the provincial government . These departments are Agriculture, Community Safety , Cultural Affairs and Sport, Economic Development and Tourism, Education , Environmental Affairs and Development Planning, Health , Human Settlements, Local Government, Social Development, Transport and Public Works , and the Provincial Treasury. Politically, the Western Cape is a stronghold for the Democratic Alliance (DA). The DA has won an absolute majority of the vote in the province in every national, provincial, and municipal election since 2009 . Municipalities Main article: List of municipalities in the Western Cape The Western Cape Province is divided into one metropolitan municipality and five district municipalities . The district municipalities are in turn divided into 24 local municipalities . In the following interactive map, the district and metropolitan municipalities are labelled in capital letters and shaded in various different colours. Clicking on the district on the map loads the appropriate article: District and metropolitan municipalities NameCodeSeatArea (km2)Population (2016)Pop. density (per km2) Cape Winelands District Municipality DC2Worcester 21,473866,00140.3 Central Karoo District Municipality DC5Beaufort West 38,85474,2471.9 City of Cape Town Metropolitan Municipality CPTCape Town 2,4464,005,0161,637.6 Garden Route District Municipality DC4George 23,331611,27826.2 Overberg District Municipality DC3Bredasdorp 12,239286,78623.4 West Coast District Municipality DC1Moorreesburg 31,119436,40314.0 Transport The N1 national route atop the Hex River Pass. Railway network in the Western Cape The Western Cape has an excellent network of highways comparable with any first-world country. The primary highways are the N1 (from Cape Town to Three Sisters , continuing outside the province towards Bloemfontein and Johannesburg ), N2 (from Cape Town to Bloukrans River, towards Port Elizabeth ), N7 (from Cape Town to Bitterfontein, continuing towards Springbok and Namibia ), N9 (from George to Uniondale, continuing towards Graaff-Reinet and Colesberg ) and N12 (from George to Three Sisters, continuing towards Kimberley and Johannesburg). Other routes are the "R" roads which connect the smaller towns. All major roads are tarred with major rural gravel roads well maintained. Limited access motorways are limited to the Cape Metropolitan Area, Winelands and Garden Route, however due to the low population density of the remainder of the province, the highways remain efficient and high-speed, except during peak holiday travel seasons, when travel can be slow-going in places due to heavy traffic. Demographics Population density in the Western Cape <1 /km2 1–3 /km2 3–10 /km2 10–30 /km2 30–100 /km2 100–300 /km2 300–1000 /km2 1000–3000 /km2 >3000 /km2 Dominant home languages in the Western Cape Afrikaans English Xhosa No language dominant The 2022 South African census recorded the population of the Western Cape as 7,433,020 people living in 2,264,032 households.[48] As the province covers an area of 129,462 square kilometres (49,986 sq mi),: 9 the population density was 45.0 inhabitants per square kilometre (117/sq mi) and the household density 12.6 per square kilometre (33/sq mi). Education - Culture - Religion & Cities and towns Education Stellenbosch University The University of Cape Town The Western Cape province has the most highly educated residents with a very skilled workforce in comparison to any other African region.or higher was 4.8% (2005), the highest in the country. The province also boasts four universities: Cape Peninsula University of Technology Stellenbosch University University of Cape Town University of the Western Cape The province is also home to the South African Military Academy . Culture Cuisine See also: South African cuisine Types of cuisine originating from the Western Cape include Dutch and Malay cuisines. Other types of South African cuisine are also found and commonly enjoyed in the province. Over 50% of all cheese in South Africa is produced in the Western Cape. Four of the top ten entries in Trip Advisor's Best Fine Dining Restaurants – Africa list for 2021 are in the Western Cape. Winelands See also: Western Cape wine The Western Cape is known for its wine production and vineyards. The winelands are divided into six main regions : Boberg, Breede River Valley , Cape South Coast, Coastal Region, Klein Karoo and Olifants River . Each has unique climate, topography and fertile soil. Distilled wine or brandy is produced in the Cape Winelands, Overberg, and Garden Route districts of the province. Brandy from these regions is regarded as amongst the best in the world due to the high, legally-enforced distilling standards in the region, technically making it equivalent to Cognac . Religion According to the 2022 census, a majority of the population of the Western Cape is Christian . At 5.2% of the population, the Western Cape's Muslim minority is the largest among South Africa's provinces. Religious Affiliation (2022) Christianity 85.6% Traditional African 5.3% Islam 5.2% Judaism 0.2% Hinduism 0.2% Buddhism 0.1% Atheism 0.3% Agnosticism 0.3% No religious affiliation2.0% Other0.8% Cities and towns See also: List of cities and towns in the Western Cape Largest cities or towns in the Western Cape National Census 2011 RankMunicipality Pop.RankMunicipality Pop. Cape Town Paarl (including Wellington) 1Cape Town City of Cape Town 4,005,01611 Beaufort West Beaufort West Local Municipality 34,085 Worcester 2Paarl (including Wellington) Drakenstein Local Municipality 179,31912 Ceres Witzenberg Local Municipality 33,224 3George George Local Municipality 157,39413 Plettenberg Bay Bitou Local Municipality 31,804 4Worcester Breede Valley Local Municipality 127,59714 Grabouw Theewaterskloof Local Municipality 30,337 5Knysna Knysna Local Municipality 76,15015 Saldanha Saldanha Bay Local Municipality 28,142 6Atlantis City of Cape Town 67,49116 Stellenbosch Stellenbosch Local Municipality 21,799 7Oudtshoorn Oudtshoorn Local Municipality 61,50717 Vredendal Matzikama Local Municipality 18,170 8Mossel Bay Mossel Bay Local Municipality 59,03118 Gordon's Bay City of Cape Town 16,776 9Vredenburg Saldanha Bay Local Municipality 38,38219 Riversdale Hessequa Local Municipality 16,176 10Malmesbury Swartland Local Municipality 35,89720 Montagu Langeberg Local Municipality 15,176 Education See also Cape Colony Cape independence Cape Qualified Franchise List of Western Cape Municipalities by Human Development Index BACK TO THE TOP OF THE PAGE
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GENOCIDE IN SOUTH AFRICA South African farm attacks From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia South African farm attacks (Afrikaans : plaasaanvalle) are violent crimes, including murder, assault and robbery, that take place on farms in South Africa . The attacks target both white and black farmers. The term has no formal legal definition, but such attacks have been the subject of discussion by media and public figures in South Africa and abroad. Unsubstantiated claims that such attacks on farmers disproportionately target whites are a key element of the white genocide conspiracy theory and have become a common talking point among white nationalists worldwide. However, there are no reliable figures that suggest that white farmers are being targeted in particular or that they are at a disproportionate risk of being killed. The Government of South Africa and other analysts say that farm attacks are part of a broader crime problem in South Africa and do not have a racial motivation Terminology and definition South African statutory law does not define a "farm attack" as a specific crime. Rather, the term is used to refer to a number of different crimes committed against persons specifically on commercial farms or smallholdings . According to the South African Police Service (SAPS) National Operational Co-ordinating Committee: Attacks on farms and smallholdings refer to acts aimed on the persons of residents, workers and visitors to farms and smallholdings, whether with the intent to murder, rape, rob or inflict bodily harm. In addition, all actions aimed at disrupting farming activities as a commercial concern, whether for motives related to ideology, labour disputes, land issues, revenge, grievances or intimidation, This definition excludes "social fabric crimes", that is those crimes committed by members of the farming community on one another, such as domestic or workplace violence, and focuses on outsiders entering the farms to commit specific criminal acts. Dina Pule , the safety and security Member of the Executive Council (MEC) for Mpumalanga Province , has disagreed with this definition and has said that "farm attacks" included only those cases "where farm residents were murdered and not cases of robberies or attempted murders". Human Rights Watch has criticised the use of the term "farm attacks", which they regard as "suggesting a terrorist or military purpose", which they do not believe is the primary motivation for most farm attacks. Findings The phenomenon, and the extent to which it is politicised, has been the focus of a number of investigations. The 2003 Report Of The Special Committee Of Inquiry Into Farm Attacks by the SAPS found that most incidents were driven by a desire for material gain and that "very few cases have political overtones." There is insufficient data to reliably estimate a murder rate for South African farmers.South African government data indicated between 58 and 74 murders on farms annually in the period 2015–2017; out of an annual murder count of 20,000 total murders in South Africa; these figures are broadly consistent with figures collected by the Transvaal Agricultural Union (TAU), a farmers' union.Due to the problems associated with counting the number of South African farmers and farm murders, it is unclear whether farmers are at greater risk of being murdered than other South Africans. Data released by the South African government in 2018 showed that the number of farm attacks had increased between 2012 and 2018, but that the number of murders on farms had decreased year by year during the period. During the same year farming organisation AgriSA reported on police statistics which suggested that the murder rate on farms had declined to the lowest level in 20 years, to a third of the level recorded in 1998. AfriForum has questioned the accuracy of police statistics. Motives Further information: Crime in South Africa According to the South African government, the chief motive for attacks is robbery.A Committee of Inquiry into Farm Attacks was appointed in 2001 by the National Commissioner of Police. The purpose of the committee was to "inquire into the ongoing spate of attacks on farms, which include violent criminal acts such as murder, robbery, rape, to determine the motives and factors behind these attacks and to make recommendations on their findings". Monetary theft occurred in most of the attacks firearms were stolen in 23.0%, and 16.0% of farm attacks involved vehicular theft The committee noted that "there is a common misconception that in a large proportion of farm attacks little is stolen"and "various items are stolen by far in the majority of cases and, in those cases where nothing is taken, there is almost always a logical explanation, such as that the attackers had to leave quickly because help arrived." The Natives' Land Act , adopted in 1913, restricted black South Africans' ownership of land and the right to legally rent land to around 10% of South Africa. The modern discontent among black South Africans has caused populists to call for a confiscation of white-owned farms in the north.The EFF political party, founded by Julius Malema, demands redistribution of the land and wealth, alongside pressure for land expropriation without compensation.As of March 2011, 31 million hectares or 25% of the 122 million hectares surface area of South Africa were in the hands of the State. The remaining 91 million hectares or 75% of the surface area was privately owned.Proponents of the theory that farm attacks disproportionately target whites point to racial hostility as a result of this situation as a motive for the attacks. Johan Burger, a senior researcher at the Institute for Security Studies (ISS), has said that attacks were typically motivated not by race but by greed. The South African Police Service (SAPS) declared in 1998 that there had been no evidence at the time of systematic organised attacks, although the matter was being looked into by special investigators resulting in the Report Of The Special Committee Of Inquiry Into Farm Attacks (2003). Statistics Recorded farm attacks (4,308) and farm murders (806) from 2010 to the end of August 2023 The SAPS stopped releasing homicide statistics on farm murders in 2007 instead merging them with all homicide figures, this has increased the difficulty of accessing reliable statistics on the phenomenon with most studies since relying on data from the Transvaal Agricultural Union of South Africa (TAUSA) instead. Johan Burger of the Institute for Security Studies has stated that statistics provided by the TAUSA significantly under reports the number of violent attacks on farmers as they are not informed of incidents on smallholdings. Attacks on smallholdings account for up to 40% of violent incidents classified as 'farm attacks.' This, Burger argues, indicates that statistics on farm attacks since 2007 likely under report the phenomenon. In 2003 the Freedom Front political party stated that farmers were "being murdered at a rate of 274 per 100,000" whilst the national murder rate was 61 per 100,000 people. The Freedom Front also alleged that Afrikaners specifically were being singled out for attacks. According to media reports, as of December 2011, approximately 3,158–3,811 South African farmers have been killed in these attacks.Self-reported data from the TAUSA state that 1,544 people were killed in farm attacks from 1990 to 2012. In 2012, Reuters reported that the number of farmers of European descent had decreased by one third since 1997, and that news headlines about farm killings provided incentive for them to sell their properties. A 2012 report by the South African Institute of Race Relations estimated that farmers were between 2 and 3 times more likely to become victims of homicides than other members of society. In January 2019, AfriForum stated that the number of murders on farms had decreased between 2017 and 2018, which it attributed to improved self-defence by farmers. AfriForum reported a doubling in the number of attacks in the Western Cape for the first half of the 2019, to 16 attacks over the period, relative to the same period in 2018, although this change took place against a backdrop of an increased crime rate in the Western Cape. According to South African police statistics, there were 21,325 murder victims in 2019 of which 49 were white farmers. During the South Africa's hard lockdown early in the COVID-19 pandemic , crime, including rural crime, decreased. The opposition Democratic Alliance (DA) political party claimed that they increased once the lockdown restrictions were lifted.[49] Agriculture organisations the TAUSA, and Free State Agriculture stated that attacks and murders had increased over the full year in 2020. Criticism of response Gideon Meiring, chairperson of the TAUSA's safety and security committee, criticised the South African Police Service for failing to prevent farm attacks, stating that the police "are not part of the solution but part of the bloody problem". Meiring has assisted farming communities in setting up private armed patrols in their area. Kallie Kriel of AfriForum accused politicians, including Agriculture Minister Lulu Xingwana and her deputy Dirk du Toit , of inciting hatred against farmers, saying "Those who inflame hate and aggression towards farmers have to be regarded as accomplices to the murders of farmers." In particular, Kriel condemned claims that violence against farm workers by farmers was endemic. Johan Burger of the Institute for Security Studies has said that the government's dismantling of the commando system had created a vacuum which the current rural safety plan was not addressing adequately. Defence Minister Mosiuoa Lekota said that the military commando personnel were "unwilling to serve a black government and were hostile to democracy in South Africa", adding that "former commando members were politically indoctrinated and supplied with weapons and training to spy on blacks in their areas, making this military structure wholly unsuited to the new South Africa." While Human Rights Watch has described a general trend of escalation in "farm attacks" since 1994, and noted a lack of government response to them, its 2001 study found that the failures of the government response disproportionately affected black farm residents. "In practice, however, the plan has significantly increased insecurity for black residents of and visitors to commercial farming areas, as they have become the targets of sometimes indiscriminate "anti-crime" initiatives ... In addition, the rural protection plan has largely failed to respond to crime committed against black farm residents, in particular crime committed by white farm owners." Prevention While the police are supposed to regularly visit commercial farms to ensure security, they say they cannot provide effective protection due to the wide areas that need to be covered and a lack of funding. 'Farmwatch' groups have been formed with the intention of filling this protection gap. These groups use radio to coordinate mutual assistance between farmers, local Commando volunteers , and private security companies . The particular mix of groups that operate has varied by area, with wealthier farmers being more likely to employ private security firms. The police and these groups are linked together as part of the Rural Protection Plan, created in 1997 by President Nelson Mandela .[40] Some white farmers have undertaken self-defence training, with some farmers trained by an Israeli special forces veteran. In 2003 the government began disbanding commando units, saying they had been "part of the apartheid state's security apparatus".[56] A 2013 study from the University of the Free State concluded that this disbanding compromised rural security, as police have prioritised South Africa's urban crime problems. Protest action The Witkruis Monument outside Polokwane , a series of crosses erected in memory of murdered South African farmers[58] A spike in violent attacks on farmers in February 2017 led to one of the country's largest prayer meetings being held on 22–23 April 2017 in Bloemfontein , attracting over 1,000,000 participants. Following the murder of Klapmuts farmer Joubert Conradie in October 2017, a protest convoy was organised on 30 October 2017. Known as #BlackMonday the convoy ran from Stellenbosch to Cape Town and attracted an estimated 10,000 protesters.The protest convoy was criticised by the South African Police Service for disrupting traffic. The protest convoy was also criticised by the ANC and the EFF for the display by some protesters of the old South African flag and alleged that the protesters were only concerned about the death of white farmers and did not include black members of the farming community. These photos were later confirmed to have been used out of context and inappropriately linked to the protests by Nickolaus Bauer, a reporter from eNCA . The eNCA released an official apology regarding the untruthful reporting. The Nelson Mandela Foundation also criticised the event for being polarising, describing the protesters' "expressions of 'us' and 'them'" as "worrisome". In October 2020, protesters stormed Senekal Magistrates Court, where two suspects were being held for the murder of farm manager Brendin Horner . A police vehicle was also overturned and set on fire. One man was arrested for setting the vehicle ablaze. There is a wall of remembrance outside the town of Bothaville dedicated to farmers who lost their lives during farm attacks. Reactions Following a spate of attacks in the Western Cape in late 2018, the Western Cape branch of the African National Congress (ANC) issued a condemnation of all farm attacks and called on the police to increase efforts to catch perpetrators and prevent attacks. The FF+ has continuously campaigned against farm attacks in South Africa. International reactions The Suidlanders , a survivalist Afrikaner group preparing for a race war predicted by Boer "prophet" Siener van Rensburg has taken credit for publicising the issue internationally after undertaking a tour of the United States in 2017. Australia After an Australian journalist was given a guided tour of South Africa by Afriforum, stories about attacks on white farmers appeared in News Corp Australia newspapers claiming that white South Africans were "trapped like frogs in boiling water" and that the South African government was "notoriously corrupt" and "potentially complicit" in the attacks and stating that the farmers were being "persecuted" because of their race. In March 2018, Australia 's Minister for Home Affairs , Peter Dutton , proposed fast-tracking white South African farmers as refugees , stating that "they need help from a civilised country", amid pressure by the South African Australian community for a special immigration intake for their family members. Far-right marchers from the Australian Liberty Alliance in Perth carried signs exhorting the Australian government to "let the right ones [white South Africans] in",and MPs Andrew Hastie and Ian Goodenough headlined a rally in Perth, which was also attended by far-right extremist Neil Erikson ,while senator Fraser Anning and MP Andrew Laming appeared at a Brisbane rally that was also attended by members of the far-right group, the Proud Boys . Dutton's proposal reportedly got support from some of his party's backbenchers and Liberal Democrat Senator David Leyonhjelm ; however, Leyonhjelm later clarified that he thought that South African farmers could be admitted under existing family reunification and skilled visa programmes, and that he did not believe that they qualified as refugees. The Australian High Commissioner was subjected to a démarche by the South African Department of International Relations & Co-operation , which expressed offence at Dutton's statements, and demanded a retraction, stating that "there is no reason for any government in the world to suspect that a section of South Africans is under danger from their own democratically elected government". Afrikaner groups including AfriForum and the Suidlanders, who took credit for Dutton's offer, rejected the idea of Afrikaners becoming refugees. Australia's ruling Coalition MPs subsequently stated that white farmers were entitled to apply for humanitarian visas, without necessarily meeting the definition of "refugees", describing the situation as difficult and unique but without calling for a special category of visa to be created. The Australian government effectively retracted Dutton's offer by responding to the démarche with a letter that "satisfied" the South African foreign ministry,[ with the South African government officially welcoming the letter and stating again that "...no one is being persecuted in South Africa, inclu Australian government was looking at "several" individual cases that may qualify for humanitarian visas, stating that his critics were "dead to me". In April 2018, it emerged that Dutton's department had previously blocked asylum applications by a white farmer, and another white South African woman on the basis that "the vast majority of crimes against whites are not racially motivated", and on the basis that there was no evidence of racial persecution, with the decisions upheld by the Administrative Appeals Tribunal . AfriForum toured Australia in October 2018 to "raise awareness" of farm attacks, appearing on Sky News Australia program Outsiders , where a member was interviewed by Ross Cameron and Rowan Dean, and they met Andrew Hastie and delivered a presentation before the Parliament of Western Australia . United States In August 2018, Fox News host Tucker Carlson commented that the South African government had disproportionately targeted white farmers during its ongoing land reform efforts due to anti-white racism. He also criticised political "elites", who are purportedly concerned about racism, but "paying no attention" to the "racist government of South Africa". However, BBC News , CBS News , Associated Press , PolitiFact , The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal described Carlson's segment as false or misleading.[7] [8] [9] [15] [16] [105] [106] President Ramaphosa had proposed a constitutional amendment that would allow some land to be expropriated without compensation; however, that amendment had not yet been voted upon as of August 2018. Following Carlson's segment, President Donald Trump instructed Secretary of State Mike Pompeo to study the South Africa land and farm seizures and expropriations and the large scale killing of farmers closely, tweeting: "South African Government is now seizing land from white farmers". Trump's tweet was denounced as "misinformed" by the South African government, which stated that it would address the matter through diplomatic channels.[15] Political officers of the American embassy in South Africa investigated the claims, consulting farmers, police, and academics for further information. In a cable sent to the State Department, they concluded that there was "no evidence that murders on farms specifically target white people or are politically motivated" and that "[s]ome journalists and lobby groups have simplified complex land disputes to serve their own ends". AfriForum took credit for Carlson and Trump's statements, stating that it believed that its campaign to influence American politics had succeeded. In 2018, Afriforum leaders also embarked on a tour of the US to "raise awareness" about farm attacks in South Africa and land expropriation. White genocide conspiracy theory Further information: White genocide conspiracy theory The claim of a white genocide in South Africa has been promoted by right-wing groups in South Africa and the United States and is a frequent talking point among white nationalists. There are no reliable figures that suggest that white farmers are at greater risk of being killed than the average South African. Some Black South Africans have sought to seize privately owned land which they have made claims to; however, South African police have stopped such attempts at appropriating land. Fact checkers have widely identified the notion of a white genocide in South Africa as a falsehood or myth. The government of South Africa and other analysts maintain that farm attacks are part of a broader crime problem in South Africa , and do not have a racial motivation. The Afrikaner rights group AfriForum claim that some attacks are racially motivated. Racist vitriol is an element in some of the murders of white farmers. According to genocide studies and prevention professor Gregory Stanton , "early warnings of genocide are still deep in South African society, though genocide has not begun". GENOCIDE OF SOUTH AFRICA How did genocide become a crime and why is South Africa accusing Israel of committing it? THE HAGUE, Netherlands (AP) — In the aftermath of World War II and the murder by Nazi Germany of 6 million Jews in the Holocaust , the world united around a now-familiar pledge: Never again. A key part of that lofty aspiration was the drafting of a convention that codified and committed nations to prevent and punish a new crime, sometimes called the crime of crimes: genocide. The convention was drawn up in 1948, the year of Israel’s creation as a Jewish state. Now that country is being accused at the United Nations’ highest court of committing the very crime so deeply woven into its national identity. The reason the genocide convention exists “is related directly to what the (Nazi) Third Reich attempted to do in eliminating a people, the Jewish people, not only of Germany, but of Eastern Europe, of Russia,” said Mary Ellen O’Connell, a professor of law and international peace studies at Notre Dame University’s Kroc Institute. Now, in response to Israel’s devastating military offensive in Gaza that was triggered by murders and atrocities perpetrated by Hamas militants on Oct. 7, South Africa has gone to the International Court of Justice and accused Israel of genocide. Israel rejects the claim and accuses Pretoria of providing political cover for Hamas . South Africa also asked the 17-judge panel to make nine urgent orders known as provisional measures. They are aimed at protecting civilians in Gaza while the court considers the legal arguments of both sides. First and foremost is for the court to order Israel to “immediately suspend its military operations in and against Gaza .” On Friday , the court’s American president, U.S. judge Joan E. Donoghue, will read out its decision at a public hearing. Here is more information about the crime of genocide and other cases in the past. What is genocide? The 1948 Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide, defines the crime as acts “committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial or religious group, as such.” It lists the acts as killing; causing serious bodily or mental harm; deliberately inflicting conditions of life calculated to bring about the group’s physical destruction in whole or in part; imposing measures intended to prevent births; and forcibly transferring children. The text is repeated in the Rome Statute, the founding treaty of the International Criminal Court, as one of the crimes under its jurisdiction, along with war crimes, crimes against humanity and the crime of aggression. The ICC prosecutes individuals and is separate to the International Court of Justice, which rules in disputes between nations. WATCH: Experts give 2 perspectives on accusations Israel is committing genocide in Gaza In its written filings and at a public hearing earlier this month, South Africa alleged genocidal acts by Israel forces including killing Palestinians in Gaza, causing serious mental and bodily harm, and deliberately inflicting conditions meant to “bring about their physical destruction as a group.” Israel has vehemently taken issue with South Africa’s claims, arguing that it is acting in self-defense against what it calls the genocidal threat to its existence posed by Hamas. How do you prove genocide? As well as establishing one or more of the underlying crimes listed in the convention, the key element of genocide is intent — the intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial or religious group. It’s tough to prove. “The most important thing is that whatever happens is done with the specific intent to destroy a group, so there’s no plausible alternative reason why those crimes have been committed,” said Marieke de Hoon, an associate professor of international law at the University of Amsterdam. READ MORE: Nelson Mandela’s support for Palestinians endures with South Africa’s genocide case against Israel Said O’Connell: “Can you show that the widespread killing of these people was intended by the government? Or … was the government waging a war and during that war large numbers of this particular group died, but that was not the intent of the government?” At public hearings earlier this month and in its detailed written submission to the ICJ, South Africa cited comments by Israeli officials that it claimed demonstrate intent. Malcolm Shaw, an international law expert on Israel’s legal team, called the comments South Africa highlighted “random quotes not in conformity with government policy.” Has the ICJ ever ruled before on genocide? In 2007, the court ruled that Serbia “violated the obligation to prevent genocide” in the 1995 Srebrenica massacre, when Bosnian Serb forces rounded up and murdered some 8,000 mostly Muslim men and boys in the Bosnian region. Two other genocide cases are currently on the court’s docket. Ukraine filed a case shortly after Russia’s invasion nearly two years ago that accuses Moscow of launching the military operation based on trumped-up claims of genocide and that Russia was planning acts of genocide in Ukraine. In that case, the court ordered Russia to halt its invasion, an order that Russia flouted. Another case involves Gambia , on behalf of Muslim nations, accusing Myanmar of genocide against the Rohingya Muslim minority . Gambia filed the case on behalf of the Organization of Islamic Cooperation. Both Gambia and South Africa have filed ICJ cases in conflicts they are not directly involved in. That’s because the genocide convention includes a clause that allows individual states — even uninvolved ones — to call on the United Nations to take action to prevent or suppress acts of genocide. Have other international courts prosecuted genocide? Two now defunct U.N. tribunals — for the former Yugoslavia and Rwanda — both dealt with genocide, among other crimes. The Yugoslav court convicted defendants including former Bosnian Serb leader Radovan Karadzic and his military chief Gen. Ratko Mladic on genocide charges for their involvement in the Srebrenica massacre. The Rwanda tribunal , headquartered in Arusha, Tanzania, was the first international court to hand down a genocide conviction when it found Jean Paul Akayesu guilty of genocide and other crimes and sentenced him to life imprisonment in 1998. He was convicted for his role in Rwanda’s 1994 genocide, when militants from the Hutu majority slaughtered some 800,000 people, mostly minority Tutsis. The tribunal convicted 62 defendants for their roles in the genocide. WATCH: Military experts discuss Israel’s use of unguided bombs and harm to civilians in Gaza The International Criminal Court has charged ousted Sudanese leader Omar al-Bashir with genocide in the Darfur region . He has not been handed to the court to stand trial. Al-Bashir’s government responded to a 2003 insurgency with a campaign of aerial bombings and unleashed militias known as Janjaweed, who are accused of mass killings and rapes. Up to 300,000 people were killed and 2.7 million were driven from their homes. A hybrid domestic and international court in Cambodia convicted three men members of the Khmer Rouge whose brutal 1970s rule caused the deaths of an estimated 1.7 million people. Two of them were found guilty of genocide. South African Farm Murders Pass 3,000; ‘Kill The Boer, Kill The Farmer’ Incites Genocide http://www.rightpundits.com/?p=5938 on 21.06.2010 um 18:45 Since the end of apartheid in 1994 there have been over 3,000 white South African farmers murdered in what some are calling genocide. “Kill the boer, kill the farmer” is a popular slogan/song which was made popular by ANC member of Parliament Peter Mokaba who died in 2002. At his funeral the slogan was chanted, in the days that followed six farms were attacked leaving death behind. A 57 year old farmer named Pieter Cillier was gunned down in front of his children bringing the South African farm murders back into the proverbial light; although you won’t hear much about it on the evening news or in the newspapers. Is this a matter of selective reporting? Some of the tactics being employed against white South African farmers are due to the revolutionary speeches of a man named Julius Malema. He is the president of the African National Congress Youth League (ANCYL) and feels that the ANC isn’t doing enough to deliver on promises of the country’s liberation struggles. Malema just last week used the slogan “kill the boer, kill the farmer” while speaking to a group of students at Johannesburg University. Malema recently made a trip to Zimbabwe to discuss and share “youth empowerment and revolutionary tactics.” Sound familiar? Imagine the outcry if whites in South Africa were targeting black farmers for annihilation. There would be 24/7 coverage of each and every killing. Imagine if whites in any country chanted a slogan or sang a song which advocated the killing of anyone or anything. With all of the hand ringing here about hate speech and violent acts, maybe we should take a hard look at the white South African farm murders to get a good idea of exactly what real hate speech and violence is. Unfortunately the politically correct media (world and national) refuse to adequately cover what’s going on in South Africa. “Kill the boer, kill the farmer” started as a rallying cry, it’s now precipitating genocide as an apathetic world community watches. Farm Murder, Anti-Apartheid Song Stoke Racial Tensions in South Africa http://www1.voanews.com/english/news/africa/Farm-Murder-Anti-Apartheid-Song-Stoke-Racial-Tensions-in-South-Africa-91714504.html on 21.06.2010 um 18:44 In South Africa, racial tensions have been heightened in some sectors of society following the murder of white supremacist leader Eugene Terre'Blanche. Two black farm workers have been charged with his murder, but Terre'Blanche's supporters blame the killing on what they say is hate speech by the youth leader of the ruling African National Congress. The killing of the leader of the Afrikaner Resistance Movement (AWB), Eugene Terre'Blanche, drew thousands of sympathizers from across South Africa to his funeral in this conservative farm community in Northwest Province, west of Johannesburg. Two black farm workers were charged with murder amidst a tense faceoff between whites and blacks outside the town courthouse. Most white South Africans reject Terre'Blanche's extreme right-wing views. But his death brought a show of support for white farmers, who say 3,000 of their group have been killed since the end of apartheid 16 years ago. Academic studies say most farm murders are criminally motivated. But Terre'Blanche's supporters like Kurt Helfer say they are meant to drive white farmers from their land, and they accuse the black-led government of doing nothing to stop them. "We will have to stand together as one nation, especially all the whites, as it looks like all of our lives are in danger. So we will definitely have to do something," said Helfer. Some blame Terre'Blanche's murder on the youth leader of the ruling African National Congress, Julius Malema, who recently revived an anti-apartheid song with the refrain, "Shoot the Boer," or white farmer. ANC senior leaders have told Malema to drop the song. Emotions were also high in the nearby township, Tshing, where black farm workers were airing their grievances before trade-union leaders. The workers complain that some white farmers pay them a fraction of the minimum wage, make them work seven days a week, beat them or do not pay them at all. And they say the government and unions do nothing about it. Local resident Pule Plaatjie says relations between the races have improved since the end of apartheid, but Terre'Blanche's group has remained racist. "The relationship between blacks and whites it has been changed. There [are] many differences. But really here in Ventersdorp, people, like those who are in the AWB, they do not want to change," noted Plaatjie. A young leader from the Communist Party, Themba Mbatha, says relations between blacks and whites are better in some ways. "To a certain degree we have mended our relations," said Mbatha. "It is easier now to relate with some of the white people. But at same time it is worse because what happened is that apartheid only died institutionally, in terms of being implemented by government." Kerwin Lebone of Johannesburg's Institute of Race Relations says centuries of racial conflict could not fade away in the mere 16 years since the end of apartheid. "Nothing can be worse than what was in the past in [before] 1994. They are certainly better. And a lot of things are improving. It is just that it is our society that has come from such a history of racial hatred that each and every little incident will always be highlighted and blown out of proportion," explained Lebone. The frictions go beyond rural communities. In the cities, well-off whites and blacks bunker behind walls fearing criminals in a society with one of the widest gaps between rich and poor in the world. More than half of young blacks are unemployed. Yet, young Afrikaners say they cannot find jobs because equal opportunity policies favor the hiring of blacks. Lebone says much of the tension is due to poverty and rising anger over the lack of improvement in living conditions for most South Africans. But he says most South Africans do not want conflict. "There will never be another race war in South Africa," added Lebone. "I think people have learned from the past and we respect each other enough [too much] to go back to the horror of the past." He concludes that despite the legacy of racial hatred in the country, most South Africans want to live together in peace. Farm Murder, Anti-Apartheid Song Stoke Racial Tensions in South Africa http://www1.voanews.com/english/news/africa/Farm-Murder-Anti-Apartheid-Song-Stoke-Racial-Tensions-in-South-Africa-91714504.html on 21.06.2010 um 18:43 In South Africa, racial tensions have been heightened in some sectors of society following the murder of white supremacist leader Eugene Terre'Blanche. Two black farm workers have been charged with his murder, but Terre'Blanche's supporters blame the killing on what they say is hate speech by the youth leader of the ruling African National Congress. The killing of the leader of the Afrikaner Resistance Movement (AWB), Eugene Terre'Blanche, drew thousands of sympathizers from across South Africa to his funeral in this conservative farm community in Northwest Province, west of Johannesburg. Two black farm workers were charged with murder amidst a tense faceoff between whites and blacks outside the town courthouse. Most white South Africans reject Terre'Blanche's extreme right-wing views. But his death brought a show of support for white farmers, who say 3,000 of their group have been killed since the end of apartheid 16 years ago. Academic studies say most farm murders are criminally motivated. But Terre'Blanche's supporters like Kurt Helfer say they are meant to drive white farmers from their land, and they accuse the black-led government of doing nothing to stop them. "We will have to stand together as one nation, especially all the whites, as it looks like all of our lives are in danger. So we will definitely have to do something," said Helfer. Some blame Terre'Blanche's murder on the youth leader of the ruling African National Congress, Julius Malema, who recently revived an anti-apartheid song with the refrain, "Shoot the Boer," or white farmer. ANC senior leaders have told Malema to drop the song. Emotions were also high in the nearby township, Tshing, where black farm workers were airing their grievances before trade-union leaders. The workers complain that some white farmers pay them a fraction of the minimum wage, make them work seven days a week, beat them or do not pay them at all. And they say the government and unions do nothing about it. Local resident Pule Plaatjie says relations between the races have improved since the end of apartheid, but Terre'Blanche's group has remained racist. "The relationship between blacks and whites it has been changed. There [are] many differences. But really here in Ventersdorp, people, like those who are in the AWB, they do not want to change," noted Plaatjie. A young leader from the Communist Party, Themba Mbatha, says relations between blacks and whites are better in some ways. "To a certain degree we have mended our relations," said Mbatha. "It is easier now to relate with some of the white people. But at same time it is worse because what happened is that apartheid only died institutionally, in terms of being implemented by government." Kerwin Lebone of Johannesburg's Institute of Race Relations says centuries of racial conflict could not fade away in the mere 16 years since the end of apartheid. "Nothing can be worse than what was in the past in [before] 1994. They are certainly better. And a lot of things are improving. It is just that it is our society that has come from such a history of racial hatred that each and every little incident will always be highlighted and blown out of proportion," explained Lebone. The frictions go beyond rural communities. In the cities, well-off whites and blacks bunker behind walls fearing criminals in a society with one of the widest gaps between rich and poor in the world. More than half of young blacks are unemployed. Yet, young Afrikaners say they cannot find jobs because equal opportunity policies favor the hiring of blacks. Lebone says much of the tension is due to poverty and rising anger over the lack of improvement in living conditions for most South Africans. But he says most South Africans do not want conflict. "There will never be another race war in South Africa," added Lebone. "I think people have learned from the past and we respect each other enough [too much] to go back to the horror of the past." He concludes that despite the legacy of racial hatred in the country, most South Africans want to live together in peace. Farm murder: Two in court http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/Farm-murder-Two-in-court-20100331 on 21.06.2010 um 18:39 Johannesburg - Two men have appeared in the Modimolle Magistrate's Court for the attack on and killing of a farmer early this month, Limpopo police said. Albert van Deventer, 63, was accosted by three men who shot him in the head while he was busy in the garden on March 13 at Langewater, said Ronel Otto in a statement. Steven Sibeko, 28, and Frans Monyamane, 32, were arrested on Monday in Mamelodi and appeared in court on Tuesday. They are facing charges of armed robbery and murder. They were remanded in custody and would be back in court on April 8. Otto said the provincial Hawks had managed to arrest 14 people for different farm attacks and killings in the province since December 2009. All the cases were still pending. Deputy Provincial Commissioner Dibero Molatjana, in charge of the Hawks in the province, congratulated the policemen for the arrests. "These members worked long and tiring hours, often sacrificing time with their families to track down the suspects," she said S.Africa: 2 White Women shot dead in 2 Hjackings - One was a former Journalist http://www.africancrisis.co.za on 21.06.2010 um 18:32 This is hideous - they just shoot the women in their cars. The terrorism and callousness of our criminals no know bounds. Jan] By Sharika Regchand & Jeff Wicks Two women were killed in a double hijacking attempt on Sunday night. Former journalist Elaine Anderson was shot dead in what police believe was a botched hijacking in Pietermaritzburg. Anderson, who was in her late 50s, was on her way home from a church service in Woodlands when she was killed. Police spokesperson Henry Budhram said it appeared that two men had confronted her while she was driving. One of the gunmen shot Anderson through the passenger window. She lost control of her car and it crashed into a barrier. The two men then went on to find their next victim. They spotted Patricia Patrick and tried to hijack her, shooting her in the head. Netcare 911 spokesperson Chris Botha said that after she was shot, Patrick also lost control of her vehicle and drove over an embankment. "Paramedics tried to stabilise the critically injured woman. She was placed on a ventilator and taken to the Netcare St Anne's hospital. She died soon afterwards." Anderson worked at The Witness for 15 years, first as a photographer then as a reporter. She was known by her colleagues for being kind, considerate and caring. No details were available for Patrick. The suspects are still at large. S.Africa: 2 White Women shot dead in 2 Hjackings - One was a former Journalist http://www.africancrisis.co.za on 21.06.2010 um 18:32 This is hideous - they just shoot the women in their cars. The terrorism and callousness of our criminals no know bounds. Jan] By Sharika Regchand & Jeff Wicks Two women were killed in a double hijacking attempt on Sunday night. Former journalist Elaine Anderson was shot dead in what police believe was a botched hijacking in Pietermaritzburg. Anderson, who was in her late 50s, was on her way home from a church service in Woodlands when she was killed. Police spokesperson Henry Budhram said it appeared that two men had confronted her while she was driving. One of the gunmen shot Anderson through the passenger window. She lost control of her car and it crashed into a barrier. The two men then went on to find their next victim. They spotted Patricia Patrick and tried to hijack her, shooting her in the head. Netcare 911 spokesperson Chris Botha said that after she was shot, Patrick also lost control of her vehicle and drove over an embankment. "Paramedics tried to stabilise the critically injured woman. She was placed on a ventilator and taken to the Netcare St Anne's hospital. She died soon afterwards." Anderson worked at The Witness for 15 years, first as a photographer then as a reporter. She was known by her colleagues for being kind, considerate and caring. No details were available for Patrick. The suspects are still at large. BACK TO THE TOP OF THE PAGE
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SOUTH AFRICAN JOKES AND POEMS South African jokes are of a rare kind. Jokes in general ease the burden of life by reducing the complexities of life to simple challenges that can be dealt with quickly. Over the years, storytellers have used jokes to capture their listeners' attention and keep things interesting. However, the skill has evolved to become a well-paying career in stand-up comedy, attracting great creative minds. Got a few of your own South African jokes up your sleeve? Naturally, you are in a new country and looking to fit in with your new community. What better way to make friends than to get people laughing? Want a few “off the cuff” South African jokes up your sleeve to unleash on people? Here’s a few of our favourites. The three little (South African) bears (a little load shedding humour): Baby Bear, sitting in his little chair at the table, looks at his little porridge bowl and says “Who ate my porridge?” Pappa Bear looks at his big porridge bowl and says angrily “Who on earth ate my porridge?” Mama Bear sticks her head through the kitchen door and shouts “I haven’t made the porridge yet…because the power is out!” Local one-liner humour: I took a trip to South Africa and met a Khoisan woman. We really clicked. Missing SA humour: In Toronto I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read “I miss South Africa”. So, I broke the window, took the radio and left a note stating “I hope that this helps”. These are just a few to have handy, to get people giggling. The internet is filled with a plethora of other (and more) SA joke options for you to choose from. African Jokes 44. why are some people African? because genes you dummy 43. When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets, Just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors! 42. for 15 cents a day you can feed an African child they eat spare change i guess 41. How do you get 1,000,000 followers? Run through Africa with a water bottle 40. Me: have you ever tried african food You: no Me: they haven’t either 39. Why are there no pharmacies in Africa? You can’t take pills on an empty stomach 38. Q: why do all the niggers in Africa run so fast? A: cause the Lions ate all the slow ones! 37. why did the girl fall off the swing… coz she had no arms bants hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha 36. In Africa, in a hospital, a black man entered armed – he had a knife on him – stick in his back! 35. A grandmother in South Africa celebrated her 100th birthday on Saturday by going skydiving. It’s pretty impressive – most people turning 100 usually go the other direction in the sky. 34. Would you like to try African food?? They would too. 33. what do u call a mosquito in your language we dont call them the they just come and bight 32. how do you get 11million followers. run around africa with a water bottle 31. Wanna know how to get 1 million followers get a water bottle and run through Africa. 30. You wanna know how to gain 1 million followers, Run throught the middle of Africa with a piece of bread. 29. Just met a really hot girl who was from a tribe in South Africa, we just clicked. 28. Just read about those poor primitive people in Africa who believe Ebola isn’t an illness but a curse placed upon them by evil spirits. Such a shame they can’t see through that mumbo jumbo and superstition like us in the West. I’ll pray for them at mass on Sunday. 27. American- I’ve never shot a gun African- That’s the first coming from an American 26. What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador 25. Why is there no gambling in Africa? Too many Cheetahs. 24. I get more care packages than Africa 23. Have you ever had African food?..neither have they. 22. how many africans does it take to change a light. a water bottle 21. Black man walked into the bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, “Where did you get it?” The parrot says, “Africa…” 20. do you know how to get lots of followers… run through Africa with a water bottle. 19. Student:Can I go to the bathroom? Teacher:What are you gonna do over there? Student: Make a boat and travel to Africa?! Teacher: What kind of comeback is that !? Student: Sorry I can’t talk right now, I got Ebola from Africa because I’m teachers stupid enough to beileve me.. 18. Have you ever tasted African food? No neither have they 17. I don’t see why Africans complain about not having water, they have free chocolate milk. 16. Wanna hear a joke about food in Africa? Im sure they would too. 15. Imagine the smallest grain of rice. That’s still bigger than the average African life span. 14. How do you start a rave in Africa?-You put a biscuit on the ceiling. 13. Have you ever had African water?? Neither have they 12. How many South Africans does it take to change a lightbulb? A Brazilian 11. Have you ever tasted African food? Neither have they. 10. Did you hear the scores of the African basketball game? It was Eight-Nothing 9. All these African jokes ain’t funny when you are a lover of Africa, how are there still Africans alive? Y’all are racist and may God forgive you… You know we rich with natural resources that’s why y’all come to steal from us… Shame on you ALL 8. All these African jokes ain’t funny when you are a lover of Africa, how are there still Africans alive? Y’all are racist and may God forgive you… You know we rich with natural resources that’s why y’all come to steal from us… Shame on you ALL 7. wanna hear a dry joke? a desert 6. In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually 5. where do whales get weighed… the whalewaystation bants ahahahahahahahahahahhahahahashahahhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah 4. What food does a cheetah eat? Fast food 3. When ever i eat in Africa the people come up to me and say we don’t do that here 2. how do you start a rave in africa? You tie a water bottle to the ceiling 1.Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Don’t worry nether have they. Funny African Jokes African humor has a unique flavor that reflects the diversity of Africa’s cultures and traditions. From funny anecdotes to clever one-liners, African jokes have a rich history of delivering laughs and joy to people across the continent and beyond. Even though African jokes may not be as well known as other forms of humor, they are an important part of African culture and storytelling. In this article, we’ll delve deeper into the world of African jokes and showcase some of the funniest and most entertaining ones. So, if you’re ready to be entertained and learn about the humorous side of Africa, keep reading! Best African Jokes 1. Do you know what they call a group of zebras in Africa? A dazzle. 2. What do you call a South African who only speaks one language? An American. 3. Why did the elephant quit his job? He couldn’t handle the pressure. 4. Why do elephants never use computers? They’re afraid of mice. 5. Why did the giraffe get bad grades in school? He had a lot of neck-glect. 6. What do you call a group of lions that enjoy dancing? A disco pride. 7. Why do they bury criminals six feet deep in Africa? Because deep down, they’re really good people. 8. What is the connection between dark humor and U.S. airstrikes? They both seem to have a target in Africa and the Middle East. 9. Want to gain a lot of followers? Try running through Africa with a bottle of water, it seems to work. 10. Want to gain 1,000,000 followers? Try running through Africa with a water bottle, it seems to work. 11. What do you call a magical dog breed? A Labracadabrador. 12. Why isn’t there much gambling in Africa? There are too many cheetahs. 13. Have you tried African cuisine before? No, me neither. 14. How do you kickstart a party in Africa? Stick a biscuit on the ceiling. 15. Have you ever had a sip of African water? No, they haven’t either. 16. Have you tasted African dishes? No, they haven’t either. 17. What was the score of the African basketball match? 8-0. 18. Why do they not have casinos in Africa? Too many cheetahs. 19. What is the name of a dog breed that performs magic tricks? Labracadabrador. 20. What is the easiest way to start a party in Africa? Place a biscuit on the ceiling. 21. How many South Africans does it require to replace a light bulb? A Brazilian. 22. Have you ever experienced African food? Nope, me neither. 23. Why don’t people gamble much in Africa? There are too many cheetahs. African American Jokes 24. Have you tried Ethiopian cuisine? Most likely not, as it is not very common. 25. Do two out of five people who don’t have diarrhea actually enjoy it when the other three are suffering? That’s an odd thought. 26. Why are Native Americans not fond of April? Because April brings showers that bloom May flowers, which in turn brought white settlers. 27. What distinguishes America from Canada? Americans are fortunate to have great neighbors. 28. How is America, unlike a bottle of milk? In two centuries, milk will develop a culture, whereas America has a rich cultural history. 29. When do Americans and the world agree? When the temperature drops to -40°. 30. What distinguishes an American from an Englishman? To an Englishman, 100 miles is a considerable distance, whereas, to an American, 100 years is a long time. 31. Do Transformers qualify for health or car insurance? No, as they are considered immigrants in America. 32. How can America be persuaded to enter a World War? By informing them that it’s almost ending. 33. Why doesn’t America use the metric system? Because they have a preference for imperial measurements. 34. How is a computer, unlike an American? A computer has troubleshooting options, whereas an American does not. 35. Why don’t Americans consume snails? Because they prefer fast food options. 36. What do you call a bee that resides in America? A USB. 37. What is the similarity between making love in a canoe and drinking American beer? Both are highly watered down. 38. If a person who can speak two languages is considered bilingual, and a person who can speak multiple languages is considered multilingual, what would you call a person who only speaks one language? A monolingual. 39. How is the United States different from yogurt? Yogurt develops culture if left alone for 300 years, while America still lacks one. 40. Who is a hardworking individual in America that never complains and works for reasonable wages? An industrious immigrant. 41. What was the outcome when the American citizen broke his arm? He ended up in financial trouble. 42. What is the reason for the strong bond between Germans and Americans? Perhaps because Americans have become the most beloved people in the world. Funny Jokes About Africa Laughter is said to be the best medicine, and there’s no better way to get your daily dose of chuckles than with African jokes! The continent is home to a rich tapestry of cultures, each with its unique sense of humor. African jokes are sure to leave you in stitches. In this section, we’ll take a look at some of the funniest African jokes out there. 43. Why are there so many lions in Africa? Because the antelopes keep running away from the crocodiles. 44. What do you call an African with a Ph.D.? A doctor . 45. What do you call an African with a bank account? A wealthy African. 46. What’s the best way to avoid getting malaria? Don’t get bitten by a mosquito! 47. Why are there so many elephants in Africa? Because they’re afraid of mice! 48. Why don’t African animals play hide and seek? Because they’re always being hunted! 49. How do you keep an African elephant from charges? Take away its credit card! 50. How do you catch a cheetah? You tie him to a post! 51. Why are African plain animals like trains? Because they’re always running on time! 52. What do you call an African elephant with a machine gun? Sir. 53. Why don’t African countries have flags? Because then they would have to sew them all together. 54. Why did the mosquito go to Africa? Because that’s where the people are! 55. Why are African countries so poor? Because they’re always giving away free food at the airport . 56. Why don’t African countries get invaded by other countries? Because there’s nothing to steal! 57. What’s the best way to communicate with an African person? By sending a text message! 58. What’s the difference between an African elephant and an African person? An African elephant is much easier to find! 59. What’s the best way to avoid getting bitten by a lion in Africa? Avoiding Africa altogether. 60. Why are African lions, such bad liars? They can’t help but give themselves away with their big manes. 61. How do you catch a cheetah? You tie him to a post and offer him a rabbit. 62. Why don’t Africans use latrines? Because there are too many flies! 63. Why are there so many lions in Africa? Because the Africans are too lazy to hunt them! Funny African Jokes Laughter is said to be the best medicine, and African humor is a perfect prescription for a good chuckle. African jokes are often hilarious and relatable to people of all ages and backgrounds. They are a reflection of African culture and heritage, and they showcase the wit, creativity, and humor of the African people. Here we’ll take a look at some funny African jokes that are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face. 64. What do you call a lazy lion? A definite slacker! 65. Why did the mosquito go to law school? To suck somebody else’s blood! 66. How do you catch a cheetah? Tie him to a post and offer him a rabbit! 67. Why did the hippo go to the dentist? To get his teeth whitened! 68. What do you call an ant who doesn’t do anything? A lazy ant! 69. What’s the difference between an African elephant and an African chicken? One is huge and has a trunk, and the other is tiny and has wings. 70. Why don’t African trees have leaves? Because they don’t have branches! 71. What’s the best way to communicate with an African? By text! 72. What’s the best way to communicate with an African? By singing! 73. What do you call an African with a map? Lost! 74. What’s the capital of Africa? There is no capital of Africa because Africa is a continent, not a country! 75. How do you know an African is lying to you? His lips are moving! 76. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! 77. What’s the difference between an African elephant and an African chicken? One is very large and has a trunk, and the other is a bird. 78. Why don’t African lions attack people? Because people taste terrible! 79. What’s an African’s favorite fruit? A baobab! 80. What’s the best way to describe an African sunset? Orange you glad you don’t live in Africa? 81. Why are there so many mosquitoes in Africa? Because that’s where they’re from! 82. How do you know an African is at your door? The rattling of the bones! 83. Why don’t African penguins live in Africa? Because they’re scared of the lions ! 84. How do you throw an African off a cliff? Give him a penny! Jokes About South Africans 85. Why is gambling prohibited in South Africa? Due to strict regulations and laws. 86. What do you call a South African with a sense of humor? A tourist! 87. Why don’t South Africans eat beans for dinner? Because they can’t find a can opener! 88. How do you catch a South African? You tie him to a post! 89. Why don’t South Africans plant trees? Because they know the monkeys will eat them! 90. Why did the South African cross the road? To get to the other side! 91. Why are South Africans so bad at math? Because they can’t count higher than 10! 92. What do you call a South African with a bucket of water? A fireman! 93. Why are South African hens so unhappy? Because they lay eggs for white people! 94. Why did the South Africans crossing the road look so puzzled? Because he was wondering why the chicken was on his side of the road! 95. Why are South African dogs so lazy? Because they have a lot of fleas! 96. What do you call a South African with a dictionary? An oxymoron! 97. If Elon Musk was born in Madagascar, what kind of car would he have created? It’s impossible to predict, but it’s likely that he would have pursued a different innovation. 98. What unit is used to measure light intensity in South Africa? The Candela, like in many other countries. 99. Why was Dr. Jekyll prohibited from South Africa? This is a nonsensical question, as Dr. Jekyll is a fictional character. 100. What happened during the golf match between a black and a white golfer from South Africa? The black golfer had the chance to win the match with a birdie on the final hole but ended up tying with a par. Also, look at : Best Filipino Dad Jokes 2023 Memorial Day Dad Jokes Best Hanging up Jokes Anniversary Dad Jokes Best Disney Knock Knock Jokes Christmas jokes If you find yourself running out of things to talk about during Christmas dinner, tell some of these jokes to impress your wittiest friends or family members. You will ‘crack them up!’. 1. 2. “What’s David Cameron’s favorite Christmas song? All I Want For Christmas is EU.” 3. “What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues.” 4. “What’s the difference between the clementine in your Christmas stocking and Donald Trump? Nothing, they’re both a little orange.” 5. “What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!” 6. 7. “I can’t get to the chocolates in my advent calendar. Foiled again.” 8. 9. “Why is Bob Dylan’s sleigh so quiet? Because it has Nobel.” 10. “What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!” 11. “Philip looks out of the window on Christmas Eve: ‘That’s some reindeer’ he says. The Queen replies: ’63 years. Yes, that is a lot.” 12. “What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum – you just can’t beat it.” 13. 14. “How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels.” 15. “Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Because their days are numbered.” 16. 17. “What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we’ll go places!” 18. “What’s the difference between Bono and Santa? Santa gives you things you want.” 19. “What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot? Get out of my face.” 20. “What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper!” South African Jokes (Jan van der Merwe) As an SA expat, you might be missing out on some of those old favourite South African jokes. Don’t worry though, you’re about to get your fix. Today we spared a thought for Jan van der Merwe. Do you remember that guy? You surely will when we tell you this story… Van der Merwe was watching the British Lions test match at Loftus in Pretoria. The stadium was packed – of course – and there was only one available seat, next to – you guessed it; Van der Merwe. “Is that seat taken?” asked the neighbour. “Yes, it is for my wife”, replies Van der Merwe. “Why isn’t she here?” he asked. “She died”, said Van der Merwe. “So, you didn’t give the ticket to one of your friends?” asked the neighbour. “They’ve all gone to the funeral”, said Van der Merwe. Has that jolted your memory of Van der Merwe? It probably has! Who could forget?! A classic South African van der Merwe joke Long Jan van de Merwe is a South African farmer and he really wants a shiny new tractor but he can't afford it! So he makes a plan: he is going to win the lottery and use the money to buy a new tractor. He is also a religious man, so every night before going to sleep he kneels by his bed and prays: "Please God, please let me win the lottery! I really need this new tractor I just need to win the lottery!" Every night. For weeks. For months van der Merwe prays to win the lottery, until one day, God speaks to him. "Jan, my son. I have heard your prayers and I have seen that your soul is pure. I am trying to help you win the lottery, I've been doing everything I can but I just can't do it on my own! Look, it's been months Jan, could you just... meet me halfway... and buy a fuckin' ticket already?" Van der Merwe Jokes Van der Merwe Jokes Van der Merwe Biltong Ltd. (UK) Van der Merwe Jokes Page Please feel free to leave some Van der Merwe jokes on our blog. The best will be cut and pasted and published on our website. http://www.vandermerwebiltong.co.uk/ Happy Birthday, Boet! "Hello, is this the SAP?" (South African Police) "e-yes. What you want?" "I'm calling to report my neighbor, Fanie van der Merwe! He is hiding dagga (marijuana) inside his firewood." "e-yes ... Thank you for your co-opershun and informashun in combatting crime and violence, in our society ser." The next day, the SAP descended on Fanie's house. They search the braai lapa (BBQ area) where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they chop open every piece of wood, but find no dagga. They shout and swear at Fanie and leave. "Hey, Danie! Did the SAP come?" "Ja" "Did they chop your firewood?" "....Ja....." "Happy Birthday Boet!" Committing suicide Schalk burst into Van's room to find Van standing on a chair with a rope around his waist and the end of the rope around the ceiling beam. "Hey Van, what do you think you're doing?" said Schalk. "I'm committing suicide," replied Van. "Well you're going about it all wrong," said Schalk. "You're supposed to tie the rope around your neck, not our waist." "Man, but I tried that yesterday and I nearly choked|." Van der Merwe was watching a rugby test against the British Lions at Loftus Versfeld stadium in Pretoria. In the packed stadium, there was only one empty seat - next to Van der Merwe. "Who does that seat belong to?" asked his neighbour. "It's for my wife." "But why isn't she here?" "She died." "So why didn't you give the ticket to one of your friends?" "They've all gone to the funeral." Van der Merwe goes to Paris to watch the Boks take on the Brits at the world cup. Whilst in Paris, he walks around, gaping and staring at everything - so much so that he walks smack bang into a fire hydrant which hits him so hard on the family jewels that he has to be rushed to hospital where the doctors tell him they have to remove his testicles. Van goes berserk, he bites and snarls at every one and he won't let anybody within 10 metres of him. Eventually they find a South African doctor in the hospital and get him to talk to Van. He walks up to Van and tells him "Hey Van, die ouens moet jou knaters uithaal." Van replies "O, okay, ek dog die bliksems wil my test tickets vat." Black & White lessons from the British On a British Airways flight from Johannesburg, September 1990, a middle-aged, well-off white South African lady had found herself sitting next to a black man. She called the cabin crew attendant over to complain about her seating. "What seems to be the problem, Madam?" asked the attendant. "Can't you see?" she said, "You've sat me next to a black man. I can't possibly sit next to this disgusting sub-human. Find me another seat!" "Please calm down, Madam." the stewardess replied. "The flight is very full today, but I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll go and check to see if we have any seats available in club or first class." The woman cocks a snooty look at the outraged black man beside her (not to mention many of the surrounding passengers). A few minutes later the stewardess returns with the good news, which she delivers to the lady, who cannot help but look at the people around her with a smug and self-satisfied grin. "Madam, unfortunately, as I suspected, economy is full. I've spoken to the cabin services director, and club is also full. However, we do have one seat in first class." Before the lady has a chance to answer, the stewardess continues: "It is most extraordinary to make this kind of upgrade, however, and I have had to get special permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt that it was outrageous that someone should be forced to sit next such an obnoxious person." With that, she turned to the black man and said, "So if you'd like to get your things, Sir, I have your first class seat is ready for you." At which point, the surrounding passengers (mostly white British) stood and gave a standing ovation while the man walked to the front of the plane!!! A few years ago Wessels Van Der Merwe (a really well-known Afrikaans character in South Africa) decided to invite an old friend from England to visit his home for a few weeks during the summer. Seeing as it was the first time the Englishman was visiting Africa, Van Der Merwe planned to impress him by showing him around the countryside during a small trek in the bush. Of course, Wessels being who he was, the trek was planned into unfamiliar territory full of jungle plantation requiring lots of equipment and logistics, none of which he had the remotest idea. So, the Englishman and Van Der Merwe set off into the buntu in high spirits, knapsack on their back and jerrycan filled with water in the direction of the thickest part of the jungle Wessels knew about. Pretty soon the going got tough, and then even tougher, and finally they both got so tired they had to settle down to rest for a while, Wessels completely out of breath but not willing to show it. While drinking their water and talking shop about the price of bananas in Ireland, they both failed to notice a tribe of cannibals that had quietly surrounded them and were promptly captured, tied up and dragged back to a cannibal village nearby. The village chief, heavily bored with his everyday rituals of decapitating wild pigs and small rodents for fun, was slightly more bemused with the bewildered duo and immediately clapped his hands as a signal to prepare the evening feast. Van Der Merwe and the Englishman were promptly and unceremoniously undressed, buttered and stuck in a big cauldron together with a multitude of vegetables and spices. The fire under the cauldron was lit and the villagers began their traditional dances around the fire to thank their gods for the coming gift. Wessels, starting to feel the heat and therefore starting to fear he would miss the rest of the summer braai's in the coming weeks, turned to the Englishman first and reassured him that all this was a normal greeting procedure in South Africa. Then he turned to the village chief and started to recount how he had been sick as a child and that his flesh would taste, let alone the diseases that the Englishman might have brought with him from over the big lake... After a period of reflection, the village chief decided to postpone the feast, on condition that Van Der Merwe and the Englishman return to the jungle accompanied by his men to find anything else that the chief hadn't tasted before. Overjoyed, Van Der Merwe and his buddies set out into the thickett at a trot in the opposite direction to the Englishman. Not far out of the village, the trail opened out into a shadowy clearing, just big enough to hold some of the BIGGEST watermelons Van Der Merwe had EVER seen! They were at least twice the size of normal watermelons and were soft to the touch, indicating they were ripe and juicy to eat. Van Der Merwe picked up three of the biggest ones he could carry and started back to the village accompanied by his spear-carrying mates. Upon entering the village and staggering to the village chief, Van Der Merwe gently laid down his trophies at the chief's feet and smiled a winner's smile... which quickly removed itself when he saw the chief's disgruntled face. Waving his hand in a pooh-pooh gesture the chief passively mentioned he had eaten those watermelons two days before. Stunned, Van Der Merwe turned to the boiling pot, back to the chief, back to the pot... Suddenly, the chief smiled and said that Wessels would be spared if... and only if... he could shove each and every watermelon up his ass without laughing. Van Der Merwe, stunned even more, gulped as he saw the size of the watermelons and started unconsciously rubbing his backside with uncomfortable firmness. But the alternative was clear. Van Der Merwe picked up the first watermelon and heftily lobbed it from one hand to the other, testing its weight. He gulped again and pleadingly looked over to the chief. No response except a raised eyebrow. Grunting and groaning, Van Der Merwe started to push the watermelon slowly but surely up his ass, keeping as straight a face as he could. The chief's face slowly began to change from a dark frown to a bemused grin as he watched the spectacle unfold before him, and some of the villagers surrounding them were already starting to laugh in unison. After an hour, the first watermelon was snugly in place and Van Der Merwe slowly turned to reach for the next watermelon, the beads of perspiration appearing in droplets on his face. Not a smile or a smirk had been seen on Van Der Merwe's face and the spectacle continued. Firmly grasping the second watermelon, he bent over and positioned it before heaving a big breath... By now the chief was laughing openly with the other villagers and couldn't keep a straight face every time he saw poor Van Der Merwe struggling with his trophies. Even if the white man were to complete the impossible task, the dinner that would follow would be the best he had ever tasted, dessert included in the main course! Watching Van Der Merwe roll about the village center in sheer agony, it was too much to hold back the hoots and bellows and by the time the second watermelon had found its mark, the chief had fallen off his throne with uncontrollable gut convulsions. Van Der Merwe, his eyes swollen with tears and the rest just swollen, regarded the third watermelon with absolute horror and turned to the practically incapacitated chief for a last chance at getting off the hook. Looking past the chief's shoulder, he suddenly stopped, gazed with amazement and suddenly threw a fit of laughter that shook his whole body! The mirthful shrieks of Van Der Merwe caught the chief by surprise, causing him to stare in disbelief at this white man who had performed a miracle, and asked Van Der Merwe why on Earth he had started to laugh just at the moment when he might have been released? Van Der Merwe, drying the tears from his face and between body shakes pointing behind the chief, said: "Look, there's that stupid Englishman returning from the jungle with a load of prickly pears in his hands!" A prickly pear is the fruit of a cactus! Reminds me of the time Van Der Merwe went to Durban for a holiday for the first time in his life. As he was packing the vrou and the braai into the Nissan bakkie, Van tonder, his ever caring neighbour said to him 'Toe nou Van, jus pasop for those blerry Koelies. Man, they'll rip you off blind and mos take the gold out of your teeth while you'se talking to them nogal. So ou Van says 'No, moenie worry nie man. I'm a man of the world and nobody's gonna chaff me kak. Anyway, ou Van and Tannie Van boek into the beach hotel and they only have a lekker few days, before Van is taking a walk down Addington Beach on the last day. Now check, there's ou Bobbie Naidoo and he's mos gooieing the stick into the sea for his dog (being that it's the Indian Ocean and all). Now for all his being a man of the world who has been to Bloemfontein, Windhoek (Okay so he took a wrong turn, but he blerry went all the way) and Naboomspruit nogal, but Van's only bedonnerd when he sees the dog run along the top of the waves and back with the stick. So Van says to Naidoo, 'Ek se, my good Curry Muncher, how much for the dog?' So ou Bobbie, quick as a flash says 'Hundred Rand Boss'. No hesitation, struse Bob, ou Van gives him the hundred and takes the dog home with him. Anyway, it's sundowners back at home and ou Van Der Merwe and Van Tonder is sitting on the stoep at Tweebuffelsmosdoodmeteenskootgeskietsfontein (A/K/A Die Plaas) and the dog is sitting on the floor next to Van and Van says to Van Tonder 'He Boet, kyk vir die' and he sommer goois the dam with a stick so it lands in the middle. And the dog just takes off over the top of the water and brings the stick back the same way. Man, ou Van tonder just looks at his dop and says 'You bought that brak off a koelie, ne?' And Van says, 'Ja. So?' 'I told you you'd get ripped off. It can't blerry swim' So van der Merwe goes to the railway station, and at the ticket office asks: "A return ticket please." Ticket man: "Where to please?" Van: "Back here, of course, man!" So Van is in a bar in London with a Frenchman and an Italian . They are boasting of their sexual prowess . The Frenchman says "When I pleasure my mistress , I tickle her nipples with a feather , and she floats an inch above the bed in bliss". The Italian, not to be outdone, says "When I make love to my girlfriend, I lick amaretto liqueur from her navel. She floats a foot above the bed in delight ". Van say "Ya , well , er... When I screw my wife , I wipe my dick on the curtains afterwards. Let me tell you, she hits the fuckin' roof!" So now van der Merwe is working at the zoo. He especially enjoys cleaning out the elephant 's enclosure, since the zoo's sole elephant is an intelligent and obedient animal called "Nuts". All he has to do is say "come over here, Nuts", or "sit down, Nuts" and the elephant will do what it is told. One day he comes into the managers office, dripping wet, flings down his broom and shouts "I've had all I can take! I quit!". "What's wrong, Van?" Asks the manager. "I can't take the guy selling peanuts any more. Every day when I'm in with the Elephant he's yelling "Peanuts ! Peanuts !" Tourguide Koos Van der Merwe Old Koos was a courier for a leading tour bus operator. Being a "verligte" he took the opportunity of telling a multiracial group of tourists about to set off for the Garden Route that race was of no consequence to him. "I am not worried about black or white," he said. "As far as I am concerned you could all be green!" "Now, all aboard!! Dark green to the back, light green to the front!" REVISED SOUTH AFRICAN DICTIONARY * AG This is one of the most useful South African words. Pronounced like the "ach" in the German "achtung" it can be used to start a reply when you are asked a tricky question, as in "Ag, I don't know." Or a sense of resignation "Ag, I'll have some more mieliepap then." It can stand alone too as a signal of irritation or of pleasure. * DONNER A rude word, it comes from the Afrikaans "donder" (thunder).Pronounced "dorner", it means "beat up." Your rugby team can get donnered in a game, or your boss can donner you if you do a lousy job. * EINA Widely used by all language groups, this word, derived from the Afrikaans means "ouch." Pronounced "aynah", you can shout it out in sympathy when someone burns his finger on a hot mealie at a braai. * HEY Often used at the end of a sentence to emphasise the importance of what has just been said, as in "Jislaaik boet, you're only going to get a lekker klap if you can't find your takkies now, hey ?" It can also stand alone as a question. Instead of saying, "excuse me?" or "pardon?" when you have not heard something directed at you, you can say "Hey?" * ISIT? This is a great word in conversations. Derived from the two words "is" and "it", it can be used when you have nothing to contribute if someone tells you at the braai "The Russians will succeed in their bid for capitalism once they adopt a work ethic and respect for private owner-ship." It is quite appropriate to respond by saying, "Isit?" * *JAWELNOFINE This is another conversation fallback word. Derived from the four words "yes", "well", "no" and "fine", it means roughly "how about that?" If your bank manager tells you your account is overdrawn, you can say with confidence "Jawelnofine." * JISLAAIK Pronounced "Yis-like", it is an expression of astonishment. For instance, if someone tells you there are a billion people in China, a suitable comment is "Jislaaik, that's a hang of a lot of people, hey?" * *KLAP Pronounced "klup" - an Afrikaans word meaning smack, whack or spank. If you spend too much time at the movies at exam time, you could end up catching a sharp klap from your pa. In America, that is called child abuse. In South Africa, it is called promoting education. * LEKKER An Afrikaans word meaning nice, this word is used by all language groups to express approval. If you see someone of the opposite sex who is good-looking, You can exclaim "Lekkerrr!" while drawing out the last syllable. * TACKIES These are sneakers or running shoes. The word is also used to describe automobile or truck tyres. "Fat tackies" are big tyres, as in "Where did you get those lekker fat tackies on your Volksie, hey?" * DOP This word has two basic meanings, one good and one bad. First, the good. A dop is a drink, a cocktail, a sundowner, a noggin. If you are invited over for a dop be careful. It could be one or two sedate drinks or a blast, depending on the company you have fallen in with. Now the bad. To dop is to fail. If you dopped Standard Two (Grade 4) more than once, you probably won't be reading this. * SARMIE This is a sandwich. For generations, school children have traded sarmies during lunch breaks. If you are sending kids off to school in the morning, don't give them liver-polony sarmies. They are the toughest to trade. * HOWZIT This is a universal South African greeting, and you will hear this word throughout the land. It is often used with the word "no" as in this exchange "No, howzit?". "No, fine.", "No, isit?". * WHAT'S POTTING Local vernacular for " Whats happening " or " What's up" . This term has no gardening connotation whatsoever. * BIOSCOPE A local word now losing a little fashion meaning movie theatre, cinema, flicks or pictures, depending on which part of the world you come from. * JUST NOW Contrary to it's apparent meaning, ' just now ' can mean anytime from now right through to the next millennium.Asked to do a job you don't particularly like, you would reply "Ja, I'll do it just now" * NOW NOW In much of the outside world, this is a comforting phrase "Now, now, don't cry - I'll take you to the bioscope tomorrow." But in South Africa, this phrase means a little sooner than soon. "I'll clean my room now now Ma.", knowing that you will receive a well deserved ' klap if you don't do it at once. It is a little more urgent than "just now". * BOET This is an Afrikaans word meaning "brother" which is shared by all language groups. Pronounced "boot" as in "foot", it can be applied to non-brother. For instance a father can call his son "boet" and friends can apply the term to each other too. Sometimes the diminutive "boetie " is used. Don't use the term with someone you hardly know - it would be thought patronising. *PASOP From the Afrikaans phrase meaning "Watch out!" This warning is used and heeded by all language groups. As in "Your ma hasn't had her morning coffee yet Boet so pasop and stay out of her way." Sometimes just the word, "pasop!" is enough without further explanation. Everyone knows it sets out a line in the sand not to be crossed. * VROT Pronounced "frot". A wonderful word which means "rotten" or "putrid" in Afrikaans, it is used by all language groups to describe anything they really don't like. Most commonly it describes fruit and vegetables whose shelf-lives have long expired, but a pair of tackies (sneakers) worn a few times too often can be termed "vrot" by unfortunate folk in the same room as the wearer. Also a rugby player who misses important tackles can be said to have played a vrot game-but not to his face because he won't appreciate it. We once saw a movie review with this headline "Slick Flick, Vrot Plot." * JA-NEE Afrikaans for "Yes/No" in English. This expression's origin is believed to have originated when a family member starts talking politics what else do we talk about in South Africa?) and you don't want to cause a political argument and get klapped or donnered, then every now and then you mutter, "Ja-Nee." (pronounced yah - near). * GRAZE In a country with a strong agricultural tradition, it is not surprising that farming words crop up (pun intended) in general conversation. Thus to graze means to eat. If you are invited to a bioscope show, you may be asked "Do you want to catch a graze now now. * CATCH A TAN This is what you do when you lie on the beach pretending to study for your matric exams. The Brits, who have their own odd phrases, say they are getting "bronzed". Nature has always been unkind to South African school children, providing beach and swimming pool weather just when they should be swotting for the mid-summer finals. If you spend too much time "catching a tan" at exam time, you could end up catching sharp "klap" from your pa. * ROCK UP To rock up at some place is to just sort of arrive. You don't make an appointment or tell anyone you are coming - you just rock up. Friends can do that, but you have to be selective about it. You can't just rock up for an interview or at a five star restaurant. You give them a bell first, then you can rock up. * BELL South African vernacular for telephone call as in " Ja Boet, I'll give you a bell just now " which means phoning anytime from now to eternity. * SCALE To scale something is to steal it, A person who is "scaly" is not nice, he's a scumbag and should be left off the Christmas party invitation list Van der Merwe is invited to have lunch with the Queen. While sitting at her table he says to her: "Jis you know Queen you have got such a nice house, and you know Queen your clothes are so nice and you know Queen your food is bakgat!" The Queen gets pissed off with this Queen bit and says to Van. "Mr Van der Merwe, you should not be calling me Queen this and Queen that the correct title is "Your highness". Van says, " ..jis that is unbelievable, my brother's name is also Johannes and he is also a queen!" There was a German, an Italian and Van der Merwe on death row.The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: 1. to be shot 2. to be hung 3. to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death. So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly. Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap! He was dead. Then it was Van der Merwe turn , and he said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and Van der Merwe fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy Then Van der Merwe said, "Give me another one of those shots,"so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over. Finally the warden said, "What's wrong with you?" Van der Merwe replied, "You guys are so stupid..... I'm wearing a condom." A boer went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," he told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to boere," the salesman replied. He hurried home, took a shower, changed his clothes and combed his hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to boere," the salesman replied. "Bliksem, he recognized me," he thought. So he went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, shaved off the baard, suit and tie, fake glasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." Sorry, we don't sell to boere," the salesman replied. Frustrated, he exclaimed "Jislaaik, man! How do you know I'm a boer?" "Because that's a microwave," the salesman replied. Van der Merwe went to Australia on vacation. One day he was sitting in one of the Outback pubs in the North-West of WA drinking Emu Export. As he finished his third, Crocodile Dundee came and sat next to him at the bar. Being a skeptical person by nature, Van stared at this guy from head to toe, and at the toe his eyes got stuck. He looked up at Dundee and said: "Hey, lekker boots my bra. What kind is these, huh??" Croc Dundee: "Hey mate, they're croc boots" Van: "They don't look broken to me man!" Croc Dundee: "They're crocodile boots, drongo!" Van: "Oh! Where can I get some?" Croc Dundee: "You just go down to the river and get yourself a crocodile, mate, and then you got some boots!" Van thought this was a great idea so he finished his beer and strolled down to the river. Without hesitation he walked into the river about waist height and started hitting the water with the flat of his hand. Meanwhile, back at the pub the guys were all standing at the verandah watching this spectacle. About 5 minutes passed when a crocodile floating nearby responded to Van's racket. As he approached, Van turned around and leaped at the crocodile, literally attacking him. The others on the porch couldn't believe what they were seeing. An hour had passed when Van finally grabbed the crocodile in a typical "boere" death grip and dragged him out onto the riverbank. Before letting go, Van gave the poor croc another couple of punches on the nose. The croc was out like a candle. Van was soaked in blood, more of the croc's than his own, but nonethe- less, he was still hurt badly. Van laid the croc down and with an enormous effort he managed to roll the croc over. He stared down at the croc for what seemed to be ages, before finally looking up at the very surprised crowd on the porch, and said: "Just my luck, a crocodile without boots!" In a small Afrikaner town, a new bar/tavern started a building to open up their business. The local NG church started a campaign with petitions and prayers to block the bar from opening. Work progressed, however, right up till the week before opening, when a lightning strike hit the bar and it burned to the ground. The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, through either direct or indirect actions or means. The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise in its reply to the court. As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork. At the hearing he commented, "I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that does not. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Van der Merwe slipped and fell in the mud! 1: The English tell jokes about "An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman", sometime with supporting cast from a Welshman or a Frenchman or the like, but they are never individuals just generic ethics. Sometimes you may get a joke starring "Paddy", but it is the exception. So van der Merwe goes to the railway station, and at the ticket office asks: "A return ticket please." Ticket man: "Where to please?" Van: "Back here, of course, man!" South African jokes make use of a named stereotype: van der Merwe. "van der Merwe" is a common enough Afrikaans surname, from the Dutch "from the Merwe", the Merwede (or Merwe) river being near Dordrecht in Holland. How do you confuse van der Merwe? Give him two shovels and tell him to take his pick. The jokes are often the standard repertoire adapted to local tastes. van der Merwe jokes are a fairly juvenile pleasure. "These rooinecke are not so bad when you get to know them," said Van on return from a visit to England. "Hey, they take you home, share their bed with you and give you breakfast in the morning - all for no charge." "Did that really happen to you, Van?" asked van Tonder. "No, but it happened to my sister," said Van. Background details emerge from the jokes: van der Merwe's first name is generally "Koos". If a brother is needed, the brother's name can be "Piet". If a rival or foil is needed, it is van der Merwe's neighbour or co-worker "van Tonder". If a sister, wife, girlfriend or love interest is needed, she will usually be "Sannie". Often van der Merwe is a farmer or a yokel. Sometimes he is a policeman, or sometimes an office worker. Being in a joke, he is by turns naive, stupid, lucky, crass, witty and cunning. He generally speaks English with a thick Afrikaans accent. So now van der Merwe is working at the zoo. He especially enjoys cleaning out the elephant's enclosure, since the zoo's sole elephant is an intelligent and obedient animal called "Nuts". All he has to do is say "come over here, Nuts", or "sit down, Nuts" and the elephant will do what it is told. One day he comes into the managers office, dripping wet, flings down his broom and shouts "I've had all I can take! I quit!". "What's wrong, Van?" Asks the manager. "I can't take the guy selling peanuts any more. Every day when I'm in with the Elephant he's yelling "Peanuts! Peanuts!" It has been noted that jokes about the disadvantaged are politically incorrect, but jokes about the advantaged are OK. The Afrikaners have been for the last century the most advantaged ethnic group in South Africa, so jokes with them as the butt are in a small way subversive. But even Afrikaners will tell van der Merwe jokes without feeling that they are the direct butt of the joke. How does van der Merwe clean his glasses? With brylcreem! Ahahah ha ha ha.... Don't you get it? Well, "brill" is Afrikaans for glasses, so he thinks that it's for his glasses ... never mind, I guess that one doesn't travel. How else do you confuse van der Merwe? Put him in a rondavel and tell him to stand in the corner. Hahahaha. A rondavel? That's a round hut, it doesn't have corners. Oh, never mind. I heard my first van der Merwe joke when I was under five. They range from one-liners to dirty jokes to shaggy dog stories that can be told for as long as you have the courage to wind up your audience. Van is talking to a Texan about their respective farms. The Texan says "Let me tell you about my Ranch back in Texas. Why, I used to get into my truck in the morning, and drive all day, and at the end of the day I wouldn't have reached the end of my farm yet.". "Well ya" says Van, " I used to have a bakkie like that too". And a last, dirty one: So Van is in a bar in London with a Frenchman and an Italian. They are boasting of their sexual prowess. The Frenchman says "When I pleasure my mistress, I tickle her nipples with a feather, and she floats an inch above the bed in bliss". The Italian, not to be outdone, says "When I make love to my girlfriend, I lick amaretto liqueur from her navel. She floats a foot above the bed in delight". Van say "Ya, well, er... When I screw my wife, I wipe my d*ck on the curtains afterwards. Let me tell you, she hits the f#*$in' roof!" 2: Priest was seated next to Van Der Merwe on a flight to Brakpan. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. Van Der Merwe asked for a Rum and Coke, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the priest if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips." Van Der Merwe then handed his drink back to the attendant and said "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice." 3: A Zimbabwean, a Nigerian, and van der Merwe’s daughter are in the same bar. When the Zimbabwean finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, ‘In Zimbabwe , our glasses are so cheap we don’t need to drink with the same one twice.’ The Nigerian, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, ’In Nigeria , we have so much stolen money to make glasses that we don’t need to drink with the same one twice either.’ Van der Merwe’s daughter, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Zimbabwean and the Nigerian. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says, ‘In South Africa we have so many illegal aliens that we don’t have to drink with the same ones twice.’ ‘ God Bless South Africa ‘ 4: There was a German, an Italian and Van der Merwe on death row.The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: 1. to be shot 2. to be hung 3. to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death. So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly. Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap! He was dead. Then it was Van der Merwe turn , and he said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and Van der Merwe fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy Then Van der Merwe said, "Give me another one of those shots,"so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over. Finally the warden said, "What's wrong with you?" Van der Merwe replied, "You guys are so stupid..... I'm wearing a condom." 5: Van der Merwe went to Australia on vacation. One day he was sitting in one of the Outback pubs in the North-West of WA drinking Emu Export. As he finished his third, Crocodile Dundee came and sat next to him at the bar. Being a skeptical person by nature, Van stared at this guy from head to toe, and at the toe his eyes got stuck. He looked up at Dundee and said: "Hey, lekker boots my bra. What kind is these, huh??" Croc Dundee: "Hey mate, they're croc boots" Van: "They don't look broken to me man!" Croc Dundee: "They're crocodile boots, drongo!" Van: "Oh! Where can I get some?" Croc Dundee: "You just go down to the river and get yourself a crocodile, mate, and then you got some boots!" Van thought this was a great idea so he finished his beer and strolled down to the river. Without hesitation he walked into the river about waist height and started hitting the water with the flat of his hand. Meanwhile, back at the pub the guys were all standing at the verandah watching this spectacle. About 5 minutes passed when a crocodile floating nearby responded to Van's racket. As he approached, Van turned around and leaped at the crocodile, literally attacking him. The others on the porch couldn't believe what they were seeing. An hour had passed when Van finally grabbed the crocodile in a typical "boere" death grip and dragged him out onto the riverbank. Before letting go, Van gave the poor croc another couple of punches on the nose. The croc was out like a candle. Van was soaked in blood, more of the croc's than his own, but nonetheless, he was still hurt badly. Van laid the croc down and with an enormous effort he managed to roll the croc over. He stared down at the croc for what seemed to be ages, before finally looking up at the very surprised crowd on the porch, and said: "Just my luck, a crocodile without boots! 6: Van was hitchhiking along when he got a lift from a chap driving a Mercedes Benz. He was intrigued by the Mercedes crest on the bonnet. “Hey, tell me what that things for.” Thinking this a rather stupid question, the driver decided to play a practical joke on Van. “You see,” he replied, “I’ve got a bad habit of knocking pedestrians down and those are my foresights through which I take aim.” “Hell hey!” exclaimed Van. They were approaching an intersection when a pedestrian stepped off the pavement to cross the road. The driver headed straight for the pedestrian and at the last moment swung away. As he did so there was a huge bang and he saw in his rear-view mirror the pedestrian lying in the road. “Hey man, I would take those sights back,” said Van, “they’re not at all accurate. If I hadn’t opened my door we would have missed him.” 7: oldie How do you know there’s an Irishman at a cock fight? “He’s the person that enters the duck”. How do you know Van’s there? “He puts all his money on the duck.” How do you know the Mafia’s there? “The duck wins.” 8: oldie Moon rocks Van der Merwe was given an allocation of samples of moon rocks for the scientists of South African universities to look over and study. His supply of moon rocks ran out before he had sent them to all the universities, so he went to Van Tonder’s cattle ranch, took some stones, and sent them to the remaining universities. Their scientists became most excited when analyzing the stones. They got together for a meeting to discuss their findings. They had all concluded that the cow definitely did jump over the moon. 9: oldie Rugby By special arrangement it was agreed that a rugby team consisting only of members of the Van der Merwe family should oppose the Lions at a game at Ellis Park, not far from the railway line. It happened that a train passed by during the second half, blowing its whistle as it went. Under the impression that the whistle marked the end of the game, the Lions left the field. It took the Van der Merwe team another 15 minutes to get its first try. 10:oldie Madam Van der Merwe and Labuschagne hated each other when at school together and when they left school they were both delighted at the prospect of not seeing each other again for a very long time. After the passage of many years Labuschagne became an admiral and Van der Merwe a portly butcher. It happened one day that Van caught site of Labuschagne resplendent in his admiral’s uniform on platform 16 of Johannesburg station. Van approached Admiral Labuschagne and said “Excuse me, station master, but can you tell me what time this train leaves for Durban?” “At 6.30 p.m., madam,” Labuschagne replied, “but I am surprised to see you travelling in your condition.” BACK TO THE TOP OF THE PAGE
- Travel Guide | South African Tours
TRAVEL GUIDE Everything You Need to Know Before Travelling to South Africa Welcome to South Africa, a land of stunning landscapes, diverse cultures, and unforgettable experiences. When touring this beautiful country, be sure to pack essentials like sunscreen, comfortable walking shoes, and a camera to capture the breathtaking scenery. Don't forget to explore iconic destinations such as Cape Town, the Kruger National Park, and the Garden Route. Embrace the local cuisine and immerse yourself in the rich history and vibrant traditions that make South Africa truly unique. Safety tips for travelers in Africa Avoid blatant displays of wealth, cash, and valuables when in public so as not to draw unwanted attention your way. Criminals are always on the lookout for potential opportunities, so the less you come across on their radar the better. Speaking of which, the most common type of crime is in the form of petty theft, so it is important to trust your instinct and to maintain common sense at all times. Avoid walking alone in quiet dark areas. Traveling in groups is always the safer option. Other places to be more wary include busy areas such as public transportation, markets, and tourist hotspots as well as deserted beaches. Know your end destination before you head out, especially at night. As far as possible, make use of ATMs that are located inside a bank, shopping malls, or in well-lit public areas. Even though safari camps and lodges are guarded, wild animals may venture within the boundaries of the camp. Children should never be left unattended in these areas and avoid walking around after dark. It always makes life easier to know a few words in the language of the African country you’re visiting. This helps to understand your surroundings and to make communication easier in times of need. Be aware of your surroundings when in public spaces so that you’re never placed in a position where you’re vulnerable. Don’t place yourself in a position that would make you an easy target. Speaking of being an easy target, dress and act appropriately, resembling the locals as much as you can, so as not to stand out as a foreigner. Avoid going to informal settlements unless you’re visiting with someone who is knowledgable about the area. It is important to remember to keep the doors and windows to your room locked. Speaking of doors, the doors of cars should always be locked. This is non-negotiable. In addition, windows should also be rolled up when driving through busy areas. Missing road signs, roaming livestock, and poorly maintained roads make driving more difficult. Outside of the main capital cities in Africa , four-wheel drives are recommended. Avoid stopping unnecessarily on deserted roads to avoid carjackings. Monitor fuel levels to ensure that the tank levels never drop below the halfway point. If you use a taxi or transport service to get around, ensure that it is part of a reputable company. Also, avoid using a taxi that has been called for you by a random acquaintance and be sure to ask for identification from the driver. Always keep your belongings securely and in sight when walking out and about. This one is directed towards solo female travelers — do not leave food or drinks unattended or with strangers and be cautious of accepting anything that has the potential to be laced with drugs from random people. I know this is a tough one, but keep the use of gadgets to a minimum when in crowded spaces. An important Africa safety tip is to keep abreast of the news and educate yourself on the current affairs of the country or region you’re traveling in. This will help in avoiding any unrest, instability, and political demonstrations. It is practical to register with your consulate before traveling abroad. Everything You Need to Know Before Travelling to South Africa Passport If you’re travelling anywhere in the world, it’s good to know as much as you can about the basics of the country you’re visiting. From entry requirements and currency to whether you need a converter for your gadgets, we’ve got you covered. Here’s a breakdown of everything you need to know when planning your South African vacation. Travellers of all nationalities will need passports that are valid for at least 30 days beyond the period of intended stay. A return ticket or ticket to another destination is also required, as well as evidence of sufficient funds. Visitors to South Africa are required to have at least one blank, and unstamped visa page in their passport, every time they enter the country. This page is in addition to the endorsement/amendment pages at the back of the passport. Nationals of countries requiring a visa before travelling to South Africa require two unstamped, blank pages in their passport, for issuing a visa prior to departure and stamping upon entering South Africa. Note: South African Immigration Authorities do not accept loose leaf temporary travel documents. Passport and visa requirements are liable to change at short notice. It is important that all travellers confirm the entry requirements with their relevant embassy or consulate. Visa Requirements Entry requirements for people travelling to South Africa are subject to change at a moment’s notice, so travellers are advised to confirm with their relevant embassy or consulate prior to departure. Entry requirements for United States citizens: United States nationals require a passport valid for at least 30 days beyond intended travel. No visa is necessary for stays of up to 90 days. Entry requirements for UK citizens: British nationals travelling to South Africa require a passport valid for 30 days beyond the date of intended travel, but no visa is needed for stays of up to 90 days if the passport is endorsed British Citizen or British Overseas Territories Citizen. Those whose passports state British National (Overseas) may stay up to 30 days without a visa. Entry requirements for Australian citizens: Australian nationals need a passport valid for 30 days beyond the date of intended travel, however, no visa is needed for stays of up to 90 days. Entry requirements for German citizens: German nationals need a passport valid for 30 days beyond the date of intended travel, but no visa is necessary for says of up to 90 days. Travelling with Children Travelling to South Africa with children who are considered minors (children under 18 years of age) can be an arduous process if you’re not fully prepared. The South African Department of Home Affairs issued new regulations from 1 December 2018, specifying that all minors are required to produce an Unabridged Birth Certificate, in addition to their passport, for all international travel to and from South Africa. Travellers may also be required to produce supporting documents if they fall into a specific category, such as one parent travelling with a minor who may need to produce a written letter of consent from the parent who isn’t travelling, but whose details are listed on the Birth Certificate. For this reason, we urge all visitors travelling with children to confirm entry requirements with the relevant embassy or consulate before departing for South Africa. For more information, visit the South African Department of Home Affairs . Currency The currency in South Africa is the Rand (ZAR), which is divided into 100 cents. Major international credit cards are widely accepted throughout the country and ATMs are widely available in major cities. Commercial banks and Bureau de Change will exchange foreign currency. Visitors should be vigilant when drawing cash from ATMs, as con artists are known to operate there. All commercial banks will exchange foreign currency. For the latest exchange rates, have a look at XE . Vaccinations Travellers planning to visit South Africa are not required to receive any vaccinations prior to arrival unless they are travelling from areas infected by yellow fever, in which case they must carry a vaccination certificate. Travellers planning to visit the bush should consider malaria prophylaxis as there is a malaria risk in the low-lying areas of the Northern Province and Mpumalanga (including the Kruger National Park), as well as northeastern KwaZulu-Natal. Medical facilities in South Africa are good in major cities, but travellers are advised to take out medical insurance prior to their travels, as many private doctors and hospitals require upfront payment. Things to Do in South Africa When travelling to South Africa, don’t miss out on these amazing activities. Contact one of our team members to begin planning your bespoke itinerary. Explore one of the many hiking trails within the Table Mountain National Park. Cruise along one of South Africa’s most picturesque coastal roads, the Garden Route, stopping at popular holiday towns such as Hermanus, Knysna, Plettenberg Bay and more along the way. Sample some of the world’s best wines from a vast collection of acclaimed wine estates in the Cape Winelands. Journey to the Cradle of Humankind to learn about the first discoveries of hominid fossils. Visit the historic Isandlwana and Rorke’s Drift battlefield sites and discover the stories of the Anglo-Boer war. Find a new appreciation for the natural world after heading to the Kruger National Park for an incredible safari escape. Let’s not beat about the bush: South Africa has a bit of a scary reputation. Much is said about the country’s unenviable crime rate, but so much more can be said about all the things that make this diverse destination so magnificent. You shouldn't let anxiety about possible dangers put you off visiting this amazing African country. Huge and diverse, South Africa never stops doling out gifts to the traveler – world-class surf breaks, eclectic local cuisine, mountains to climb, cities to visit, tiny towns to hide away in, desert landscapes to photograph and, of course, plenty of wildlife to watch. The country’s extraordinary variety is both its biggest draw and its biggest challenge, at least when it comes to planning a trip. Much research is needed to decide where to go, what to do and how long to stay. Visiting for less than two weeks is not ideal – three weeks or more would be a better bet if you can manage so much time away. With tips to help you plan as well as information on health, safety and etiquette, here's what you need to know for a successful trip to South Africa. If you come to South Africa as a family, bring the right paperwork. Getty Images 1. Carry the relevant paperwork if you’re traveling with kids If you’re entering or leaving South Africa with a child under the age of 18, you’ll need to have a few extra bits of paper in your carry-on bag. In a bid to stamp out child trafficking, all minors need to have an "unabridged" birth certificate – that is, one that lists both parents’ names. If only one parent is traveling with the child, you’ll need an affidavit from the other parent confirming that they give consent for the child to travel. The rules keep changing and papers are not always checked, but it’s wise to have the documents on hand just in case. 2. Carry cash, just not too much While credit and debit cards are widely accepted, there are still a few places in South Africa that only take cash. It’s best to keep a small stash of notes and coins for purchases at corner stores, buying things from market traders and for the various tips you’ll be expected to give throughout the day (more on tipping below). Of course, it’s not wise to walk around with large wads of cash on your person, so keep the bulk of your money hidden away in the hotel safe, or withdraw modest amounts from ATMs while you are out and about. Be wary of using ATMs on the street; theft and card scams are common, so it’s best to stick to machines inside malls or banks. 3. Buy a South African SIM card and use local Wi-Fi Public Wi-Fi is fairly easy to find in larger cities and more touristed towns, but if you’re planning on wandering far from the main population centers, it’s worth picking up a South African SIM card on arrival at the airport. The card costs just a few rand, but like pretty much everything in South Africa, it does come with a bit of paperwork. You’ll need to “RICA” your SIM card – a fairly simple registration process that requires a photo ID and confirmation of your address in South Africa (a simple booking confirmation will suffice). Book a car with one of the major rental companies to see more of the country. 4. If you really want to see SA, you need to rent a car There's no sugar-coating it – public transport in South Africa often falls short. Long-distance bus services exist but routes tend to bypass many smaller destinations, and fares can be expensive for shorter hops. Long-distance trains are unreliable, and hitchhiking is most definitely not recommended. If you really want to see the country, you’re going to have to rent a car. Fortunately, there are plenty of fantastic road trips to choose from, and all the big car hire companies are represented in South Africa – just be sure to book ahead, especially if you’re traveling in the November to March peak season. 5. Be more cautious when driving in cities When I first moved to South Africa, there was so much talk of carjackers that I expected to find balaclava-clad people lurking at every intersection waiting to appropriate my vehicle. I remember panicking at the gas station because I had to lower the window to pay, then passing my cash through an inch-high gap before driving away, stressed and sweating. These days I often drive with the windows down, but I do approach "robots" (the local term for traffic lights) with caution, always leaving a car-length gap in front of me just in case I need to make a quick escape. Be cautious while driving, but not paranoid. Keep your doors locked and be extra vigilant when driving at night, keeping your windows up and your wits about you. 6. Listen to the locals (but be ready for a little exaggeration) Local advice is always important, particularly in countries that have a reputation for crime and social problems. In South Africa, the host at your accommodation is a good person to ask about the best bars or restaurants, how to get around and which areas to avoid. Just be aware that there are many awesome attractions found in areas that South African locals – particularly older locals – wouldn’t consider visiting. Once, while staying in a guest house in suburban Durban, I asked the owner if there were any places to avoid and she replied “The CBD” (city center), which would have cut my sightseeing rather short. South Africans have a tendency to exaggerate the danger posed by crime – it’s almost a part of the national psyche, and a favorite topic of conversation. You might have to do a bit more research to sort out the worthwhile warnings from the sometimes-inevitable scaremongering. Expect to tip at restaurants, gas stations and even parking lots. Shutterstock 7. Be prepared to tip South Africa has a strong tipping culture. In many customer-facing industries, salaries are low and workers make much of their money from tips. Restaurant staff will expect a top of around 10%, but leaving 12–15% will generate bigger smiles. Drivers never pump their own gas in South Africa; you’ll be expected to pay at least R5 to the person filling your tank, or R10–20 if the attendant also checks your tires, oil or water. Then there are South Africa’s informal parking attendants. While larger cities and towns have areas with pay-as-you-go street parking, in most places, you can park at the side of the road for free… sort of. Ubiquitous car guards will offer to keep an eye on your car while you’re away, and they come in a range of helpfulness levels. Some will go the extra mile, stopping traffic to help you back out into a busy street. Others are opportunists who approach as you pull out your keys, claiming they were keeping a close eye on your car while you were shopping. Reward car guards according to the service they provide – a R5 coin is the standard thank you but R10 is more appropriate for someone who provided a more useful service. 8. South African English takes some getting used to While there are 11 official languages in South Africa, you’ll almost always find someone who speaks English, unless you’re in a remote rural area. There will still be a few local phrases that trip you up. One thing that often baffles foreigners is the (extremely liberal) use of the word “shame.” It’s a versatile word in South Africa. A cute child fell asleep in the car? Shame. A close family member passed away? Shame. Busy week at the office meaning you couldn’t make Friday drinks? Shame. The word is often preceded by the utterance "ag" and followed by the word "man." So the phrase "Ag, shame man" can mean anything from “awww” to “Oh no, that’s terrible!” Also frequently used is the word “hectic.” While it can be used to discuss a particularly busy intersection, it could also be used to describe a ridiculously tall building, a very long line at the bank, an insanely windy day or a particularly large baby being born. In South Africa, hectic doesn’t really mean busy – it usually means "wow." The bright lights don't stay on all day in many parts of SA. Zach Louw/Getty Images 9. Expect lots of talk about politics and power outages Certain subjects are off-limits in every country, but in South Africa, politics is not one of them. Everyone has an opinion on the government’s latest endeavors, whether that’s discussing the abundance of potholes, the latest corruption scandal or – more often than not – the government's failure to provide (electrical) power to the people. You'll very quickly become familiar with the inconvenience of what locals call "load-shedding." Basically, load-shedding is a never-ending series of planned power outages designed to take pressure off the ailing electricity grid. Cities and towns are split into zones, and depending on the severity of the load-shedding, you might end up without power for anything from two to 12 hours a day. There are eight "stages" of load-shedding, broken up into two-hour slots. Larger hotels won’t be affected thanks to backup generators, but if you’re staying in a guesthouse, hostel or private home, you are bound to encounter load-shedding at some point in your stay. Many places come equipped with fail-safes such as emergency lights, backup power for fridges and Wi-Fi hubs, and sometimes generators big enough to power the whole property. Your host will likely give you daily updates on when the power will be off, or there’s a handy app – EskomSePush – that has all the details and comes with a handy warning notification. 10. Driving in the emergency lane is standard practice While greetings, table manners and general day-to-day etiquette in South Africa should largely be familiar, the way South Africans drive can be a bit of a culture shock for visitors. One of the most idiosyncratic rules of the road is “yellow line driving” – many roads are single-lane highways, and enterprising drivers often use the emergency lane (hard shoulder) as a backup. If you’re on a highway and a driver behind you indicates that they want to get by, you'll be expected to briefly move across the yellow line into the emergency lane to let them pass. If you don’t, you’re likely to find yourself privy to another favorite local driving habit: tailgating. Drivers will usually flash their hazard lights in thanks as they pass, but be aware that obliging drivers aren’t the only thing to be found on the hard shoulder. Always make sure there is good visibility before you pull over, for around the next corner you might find a troop of baboons, a stray cow or a bunch of school kids walking home. If you’re traveling with kids South Africa is an excellent destination for family trips. With its diverse wildlife, delightful beaches, exciting theme parks and fascinating museums, there are many attractions that are perfect for both adults and children. The country is particularly well-suited to older kids who can make the most of the many outdoor experiences. What makes South Africa good for kids? Traveling with kids in South Africa is relatively easy, with child-friendly facilities and accommodations. Most larger hotels will provide a cot for babies and toddlers, and sometimes there are extra beds available, but it pays to check when you book. There are apartments with kitchens available for rent as well as holiday homes. Many family restaurants and cafes have high chairs and offer kids' menus that include dishes such as pizzas, burgers, pasta, toasted sandwiches and fish and chips. Some restaurants and cafes serve variations on local dishes for children. If you want healthier options, there's usually something suitable in the entrée or sides section of the main menu. Public transport in South Africa is limited, so hiring a car is recommended when you're traveling as a family. You’ll find all major car rental brands in South Africa, including Avis, Hertz, and Budget, and there are desks at the airport, although you’ll usually get lower prices if you book in advance. Tourist destinations are safe and you should be able to visit the places on this list independently without any issues, however taking tours through Soweto and downtown Johannesburg is recommended. One important thing to know before you go: bring your child's full birth certificate as well as their passport when traveling to South Africa. If both parents are not traveling with the child, you will also need additional documentation, including a letter from the other parent and potentially a court order. Contact your South African embassy for more information about these requirements. The penguins of Boulders Beach are popular with curious children © Bkampath/Getty Images/iStockphoto Where is the best place to go in South Africa for kids? The larger cities of Cape Town, Johannesburg and Durban are great for kids, with facilities for young children, excellent food and accommodation options. They also have a wealth of family-friendly activities, including theme and water parks, indoor and outdoor play areas, and museums and zoos. Children will also love seeing the animals and flowers in the nature reserves and national parks. The smaller towns along the coast are the places to go if you're looking for a relaxing beach vacation. Best things to do in South Africa with babies and toddlers Take the cable car up Table Mountain, Cape Town Table Mountain dominates the skyline in Cape Town, and seeing the view from the top is remarkable. If you’re traveling with young children, take the cable car to the top – children aged four and under travel for free. Prams and strollers can be wheeled straight on too, but if you're planning on doing any walks at the top of the mountain, you might prefer a baby carrier or sling. The cable car ride itself is an adventure as the car slowly rotates as it travels up the mountain, offering panoramas of Cape Town and the surrounding region. Once at the top, drag your eyes away from the views to look out for a dassie, a small, guinea pig-type animal, or take one of the accessible hikes and walking routes. See the penguins on Boulders Beach, Cape Peninsula This white sand beach dotted with huge boulders is home to a colony of endangered African penguins. Children can see the penguins up close and watch them waddling on the beach, swimming in the clear waters, and interacting with each other. The water is cold, but the beach itself is sheltered with gentle waves and shallow waters, making it perfect for young children to play and splash around. Just remember that the penguins are wild animals and you should keep your distance. Other activities to keep babies and toddlers entertained include rock pooling and exploring the boulder formations. It's likely that a safari experience in South Africa will appeal to most of the family Best things to do in South Africa with young children Go on a safari Easily one of the best things to do in South Africa is going on a safari. While some younger children may find the drive times a bit challenging, most will be enchanted by seeing wild animals in real life. Take an organized game drive to have the best chance of seeing the Big Five – lions, leopards, elephants, rhino and Cape Buffalo – up close. If you have younger children, consider doing a game drive in a private reserve, as the smaller area means you can see more animals in a shorter amount of time. For older children, head to Kruger National Park to see animals living in their natural habitat and get a snapshot of what the country (and much of the continent) would once have been like. Visit Gold Reef City, Johannesburg This gold-mining-themed amusement park has rides and entertainment suitable for all age groups, from toddlers to adults. You can also learn about Johannesburg’s gold-mining history, and go on an underground mine tour (suitable for children over six). If you’re visiting with older kids, you may want to combine a visit to Gold Reef City with the nearby Apartheid Museum. Explore the Cango Caves If you’re spending a few days in the Cape Winelands or driving along the Garden Route, take a detour to the Cango Caves. Kids will love exploring the vast underground chambers, tunnels and fascinating rock formations, some of which are millions of years old. The basic guided tour of the caves is accessible to all ages, and the knowledgeable guides are great at keeping kids engaged and entertained. On the way to the caves, a couple of other attractions are also worth visiting – an ostrich farm and Cango Wildlife Ranch where kids can meet cheetahs, snakes, crocodiles and more. Spend a few days at Sun City The popular resort of Sun City in South Africa's North West Province offers a range of exciting activities for children of all ages, including water parks, game reserves and adventure parks. The Valley of Waves, with its thrilling water slides and wave pool, is a favorite among kids. Supervised activities are available for younger children, including mini-golf, outdoor movies and arts and crafts. The resort's game reserves offer the opportunity to see Africa's Big Five, while the zip line and Segway tours provide adrenaline-pumping adventures for older kids. See fossils at the Cradle of Humankind The Cradle of Humankind in South Africa is an excellent destination for kids who are interested in history and science. This Unesco World Heritage site is home to some of the world's most important hominid fossil discoveries, including the famous "Mrs Ples" and "Little Foot." Kids can learn about the evolution of humankind through interactive displays and exhibits and take a guided tour of Sterkfontein Caves, where some of the fossils were discovered. South Africa's vast coastline means there are plenty of superb places to have some family time on the beach. Best things to do in South Africa with tweens and teens Learn about South Africa’s history Older kids and teenagers can learn about apartheid through some of South Africa’s excellent museums and tours. In Johannesburg, visit the Apartheid Museum or go on a historical walking tour of Soweto to learn about the events that shaped the country’s history. If you’re in Cape Town, take a trip to Robben Island, a former prison for political activists, including Nelson Mandela. Tours take you to various historic sites around the island as well as through the prison, giving you a glimpse of Mandela's cell. The boat ride with views back towards the beautiful city are a bonus. Explore Johannesburg’s street art Known as the street art capital of Africa, Johannesburg’s vibrant and colorful street art scene is not only visually stunning but also offers insight into the city's past. Johannesburg's street art evolved out of the city's degeneration in the 1980s and '90s, and is part of the city center's regeneration today. The Maboneng Precinct, in particular, is known for its street art, with some (although not all) of the major works commissioned by the government. Teenagers can learn about the significance of the city’s murals, graffiti, and street art on guided street art tours of Johannesburg. These tours also highlight the works of established and emerging artists, and some offer opportunities to engage with local creative communities. If you're short on time, you can also get a taste of local street art while learning about local history. Most Soweto tours include a visit to the impressive Orlando Towers. The artwork on the old power station makes for a great photo opportunity, and adventurous teens can climb the towers or even bungee jump down from them. If you really want to see SA, you need to rent a car South Africa is the ninth-biggest country in Africa and figuring out how to get around efficiently takes some serious thought and planning. How do you move between bustling cities and epic countryside safely, quickly and cost effectively without damaging the environment as you go? Whether you're going by rail, road or air, here's everything you need to know about getting around South Africa. Travel by plane if you're short on time South Africa is almost five times the size of England and twice the size of Texas, so it can be worth taking to the air if you have a lot of ground to cover in a limited time. South Africa’s main cities are well connected by convenient flights. The domestic airline with the most extensive network is Airlink, which flies through 17 South African airports, along with others in southern and central Africa. FlySafair is also reliable and recommended but reaches less than a dozen destinations. If you have time constraints, flying is the best – though least climate-friendly – option for getting around South Africa. However, airports are often a considerable distance from the city, and it’s worth remembering that you will incur costs and travel time getting into the city center. Almost every city and town is connected by bus Greyhound pulled out of South Africa in February 2021 after nearly four decades of service, so Intercape and TransLux are now the major options for travelers moving between cities in South Africa. Both of these networks have efficient online booking systems and between them, they connect almost every city and town in the country with safe, comfortable and affordable vehicles. All long-distance coaches are equipped with air-conditioning and toilets. Tickets vary according to distance and route, but figure on paying roughly R54 for each hour of traveling. In high season, specifically during the school Christmas holidays, prices can rise by as much as 30%. Up close with an African elephant in Pilanesberg National Park . Renting a car will get you into wilderness areas and national parks Public transport in South Africa is limited when it comes to remote, rural communities and almost nonexistent if you want to explore the wilderness and the all-important national parks and reserves. If you want to experience the thrill and charm of backcountry South Africa, you’ll need your own wheels. The entire country is networked by top-quality and beautifully scenic roads, along with enough endless stretches of gravel top to appeal to any adventurous road-tripper. There are several reliable and relatively inexpensive car rental companies, including Avis, Hertz and Tempest Car Hire. If you’re traveling in a group, car rental often turns out to be the most affordable option, with rates starting around R540 per day. Prices are usually lower if you book in advance rather than upon arrival at the airport. Bear in mind that many parks – specifically Kruger National Park and Addo Elephant National Park – have such excellent road infrastructure that a 4x4 is not necessary and, as long as you confine yourself to the tarmac routes, you can get around even in a small hatchback. If you’re driving in a Big Five country, do some research regarding etiquette and safety precautions, especially in dealing with elephants. An environmentally sound 4x4 rental company is Tread Lite, which offers affordable, compact and delightfully quirky Suzuki Jimnys with all the necessary camping kit for a price tag of around R1547 per day, depending on the time of year and length of your stay. Tread Lite is also an absolute mine of information when planning your route. Hop-on hop-off tour buses take you to the main sights on South Africa's Garden Route . Tour buses provide affordable, flexible travel in South Africa Aimed at backpackers, Bazbus is a perfect option for solo travelers looking for a more sociable mode of transport. The hop-on-hop-off travel pass means that you can take as long as you want to go from A to B. For example, a one-way hop-on-hop-off ticket between Cape Town and Port Elizabeth starts around R4700 and passes through the coastal highlights of the Garden Route, while an eight-day Bazbus travel pass lets you hop off and on as many times as you want in any direction for R4600. The company even offers a three-day all-inclusive Kruger safari from R12,200 per person. Highly recommended, Oasis Overland offers a 17-day trip from Cape Town to Jo’burg that takes in most of the main sights, including Addo, Royal Natal National Park and even a visit to the mountain kingdom of Lesotho, for about R29,050. If you want to make South Africa part of a once-in-a-lifetime African trip, look into the 93-day Grand Adventurer trip from Nairobi to Johannesburg. Splash out on a sleeper cabin on the Blue Train between Pretoria and Cape Town © Michael Heffernan / Lonely Planet Trains in South Africa run from basic to luxury If you’re not in a hurry, the train is often the most pleasant way of getting around South Africa. You can settle in for a relaxing overnight journey, watching the countryside slip past and chatting to fellow passengers. Sadly the tourist-class Shosholoza Meyl sleeper service is still not back to its pre-Covid operations but there are other options available with an unfortunately heftier price tag. The Blue Train raises comfort levels to sumptuous extremes: you’re expected to dress formally for dinner, and the price tag can run to R67,715 for a trip from Pretoria to Cape Town. Meanwhile, on the luxurious Rovos Rail service, the four-day 1600km (994-mile) journey between Pretoria and Cape Town costs from R31,700, and you can carry on all the way to Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe for an extra charge. Local taxis or minibuses are another inexpensive option Be aware that in South Africa the word “taxi” is most commonly applied to the privately owned minibuses that connect virtually every town and village in the country. Often overloaded and dangerously driven, it is a mode of transport avoided by most people with sufficient funds to use another option. If you decide to give it a shot, know that you won't have much room for luggage, the schedules are rarely set and you'll have to ask around to find out where to wait. Hired taxis (normal sedans or hatchbacks) run in the major cities only, but the ubiquitous ride-sharing app Uber is a convenient, secure and reliable service that you can count on in most parts of the country. South Africa has good infrastructure for travelers with disabilities . Accessible transportation in South Africa For travelers with mobility issues, South Africa might just be the easiest country on the continent to get around. Facilities include boardwalks and braille signage at the most developed national parks and reserves. Wheelchair users have easy access in getting around city centers, especially in Cape Town and Johannesburg. Avis and Budget are the nationwide rental companies that supply vehicles with hydraulic lifts and wheelchair restraints. Disabled Travel is a great resource for listings, compiled by an occupational therapist, detailing a vast range of accommodations and resources for travelers with disabilities. Durban-based Access 2 Africa Safaris runs everything from day trips to 12-day tours taking in Zululand, Kruger and eSwatini (formerly Swaziland). Travel with Renè is a fantastic tour operator that runs a range of exciting tours, including whale-watching and winelands tours, in the Cape area. Renè, a Black woman who became quadriplegic as a result of a motor accident in 1995, has a vehicle that can take six passengers, including three wheelchairs at a time. South African National Parks has produced the Comprehensive Guide to Universal Access in South African National Parks for Guests with Disabilities, an excellent 24-page PDF. Find more accessible travel information by downloading Lonely Planet’s free Accessible Travel eBook. South Africa Travel Tips for Your First Trip in 2024 South Africa Travel Tips for Your First Trip in 2024 Published October 6, 2023 · Updated October 6, 2023 Oh hey traveler… You’ve read my 20 reasons why you should travel to South Africa, and are now planning your very first trip to the tip of Africa. Yeeaaaah! Today you get to find out my best travel tips to South Africa in preparation for your adventure, on arrival at the airport and when travelling through the country. This article will ensure you are well-informed and well-prepared for that trip of a lifetime. Read on to discover my essential South Africa tips worth knowing before you go ⇓ Reading time: 8 minutes South Africa is often referred to as a rainbow nation with a melting pot of diverse people, languages, and African and Colonial cultures. This is location dependent somewhat, but you will fit in no matter the language you speak, the clothes you wear, or the colour of your skin. A trip to South Africa should be on the bucket list of every intrepid traveler. The country at the tip of Africa welcomes thousands of visitors each year looking to experience its diversity, its beauty, its landmark attractions, and its endless possibilities for adventure. You often hear visitors saying, “I wish I had known …” What follows is my travel guide and tips for visitors planning on traveling to South Africa for the first time. Whether you’re going on a safari, planning a road trip along the coast, or visiting the lively cities of Cape Town, Johannesburg, and Durban, I’ve got you covered ↓ Useful South Africa Travel Tips Before I continue, note that I don’t think you have to know everything before you arrive. Part of the pleasure and gratification of travel is discovering and exploring the unknown without any preconceived ideas or expectations. It is good to be prepared, but leave some revelations and encounters for the actual journey. >> Read next: The best places to visit in South Africa If you’re looking for more travel preparation tips, check out this guide about what to know before travelling to Egypt. To help you prepare you for the unexpected and to arrange a stress-free trip, here are my top tips for your first trip to South Africa! Let’s get into it. First up…. Before Travelling to South Africa: Tips Planning a trip to South Africa: It is worth having, in advance, a practical list of what to expect and know before travelling to and on arrival in South Africa. I know you’re wondering: IS SOUTH AFRICA SAFE? This is a question I get asked a lot. “Yeah, but is South Africa as a country a safe destination?” Yes, within reason and with precaution. Safety is a major concern of first-time visitors to South Africa. Although the country has a high crime rate and crime is an issue, the majority of incidents occur in areas that are away from the usual tourist trail and so the risk to tourists is low. It is imperative to use common sense and to always be aware of your surroundings. It is also helpful to know which actions and places to avoid to stay safe in South Africa. With proper precaution and preparation, many problems can be avoided. How to remain safe in South Africa as a traveller: — Do blend in To stay safe avoid looking like a tourist. — Avoid ostentatious displays of expensive possessions such as jewellery, cameras, mobile phones and other valuables. — Do not keep any items unattended… like you may do so back home. Store valuables (including passports) in the safety deposit box of your accommodation. Keep huge camera equipment, handbags, phone and other valuable belongings out of view to avoid attracting any unwanted attention. — Better safe than sorry As a preventative measure and common caution, remember to keep your car doors locked at all times. — Pay attention to your location and surroundings as you would in every major city around the world — Know where you are going before you head off particularly at night — Do not put any valuables in suitcases Carry all valuables with you in hand luggage as opposed to leaving in the checked luggage. I hear things are better now, but Johannesburg airport, in particular, had a bad reputation for things going missing from luggage. >> Related reading: The safest African countries in 2024 ranked + essential safety tips when in Africa WEATHER IN SOUTH AFRICA The Best Time to Visit South Africa experiences a sub-tropical temperate climate that is warm and generally dry. The weather is pleasant and sunny for most of the year. Winters (June – August) are mild with snowfall in the mountainous regions. Check the weather before arrival in South Africa and make a note of the season. Many visitors incorrectly think that it’s constantly hot, this being Africa after all. No, there are district seasons each with their own climate. The Western Cape, including Cape Town, receives most of its rainfall during winter, so it’s best to travel here outside of this period. On the flip side, when it is hot, you can easily get sunburnt. So pack some sunscreen. Seasons: Summer – December to February Autumn – March to May Winter – June to August Spring – September to November AVOID: if at all possible, avoid visiting South Africa during the peak summer months of December – February. You will have to put up with inflated prices and also enlarged crowds as both international and local visitors take a break in the holiday season. You will also want to avoid school holiday periods that include mid-June to mid-July. HEALTH REQUIREMENTS: VACCINATIONS — Malaria tablets are advisable should you be travelling within a malaria region in malaria season. — Currently, no vaccinations are required when visiting South Africa, however, proof of yellow fever vaccinations on arrival are needed if you travel through a country with a risk of yellow fever. Travel Tip: Don’t forget to pack some insect repellant that is essential in helping to ward off mosquitoes and other insects. [Covid19]: Travelling to South Africa All visitors to South Africa are expected to follow the rules set out by the government. These include following social distancing in public spaces, regular washing or sanitizing of hands, and a compulsory wearing of masks. In addition to this, all international travellers arriving at the designated airports will be required to provide a negative COVID-19 test result, recognized by the World Health Organization, that was obtained less than 72 hours from the time of departure. Failing to submit a negative COVID-19 test result, will lead to an antigen test being conducted on arrival at own cost. Testing positive for COVID-19 will result in compulsory isolation at own cost, for a period of ten days. ❗ Update: All of South Africa’s COVID-19 entry restrictions have been lifted on June 22, 2022. As a result: · No proof of negative pre-departure COVID-19 test results are required. · No proof of vaccination is required to enter South Africa. Yeaahhhh! SOUTH AFRICA PACKING LIST Don’t overpack. This common mistake should be avoided. Be sure to leave some room space in the luggage for souvenirs and other stuff you will come across. South Africa is a relatively affordable vacation for visitors and you will want to make purchases along the way. What To Wear Bring a mix of stylish and old clothes. You will have use for both depending on your activity or occasion. Most hotels and game lodges offer an extremely quick laundry turnaround, often a same-day service, at additional services. It is not necessary to bring a separate change of clothing for each day and evening. I would recommended that you keep luggage to a minimum for your own comfort and ease of transport, especially if you are using light aircraft transfers. Summer Bring clothes that are lightweight, cool, and comfortable made of a natural, “breathable” fabric. Summer temperatures can reach well into the 30 – 40 degree Celsius range in some areas. Definitely bring a swimming costume and possibly an umbrella or raincoat as this is when most of the country gets its rain. Winter The winters are generally mild, but there are periods when a cold front makes an appearance, so be prepared with a warm jacket, fleece or sweater. Cape Town gets its rain during the winter season so it’s recommended to bring rain gear. General — Always bring a hat, sunglasses and sunscreen as the sun can be strong even in the winter months. — Walking shoes are a good idea all year-round. — Some establishments stipulate smart casual and a collard-shirt and trousers or slacks, a blouse and skirt is needed. — For game viewing, a couple of lightweight, khaki or neutral-toned items will be useful. A scarf and hat for the dust and heat is recommended. — Binoculars — Camera and accessories — Personal toiletries, lip balm and insect repellent Wide variety of shopping Don’t dread if you forget to pack something. Great shopping malls are dotted throughout the country, ensuring you’ll find what you need. ACCOMMODATION OPTIONS You will find a variety of accommodation options available, from world-class hotels and safari lodges to guesthouses, self-catering apartments, and backpacker lodges. The accommodation you choose will be entirely based on your budget, purpose of travel, and itinerary within South Africa. If travelling during the peak season of November – January, it is important to book your accommodation in advance to get first pick and the best rates. SOUTH AFRICA IS A DEVELOPED COUNTRY No, you won’t find wild animals roaming the streets, according to a popular misconception. What you will find is everything from world-class shopping centres, paved roads, and highways to gourmet restaurants, farmers’ markets, and museums here. While some villages that border animal reserves have to deal with the occasional predator stalking their domestic cattle, you won’t spot any wild animals outside the game reserves. Did you know: South Africa does not have one capital city, but three. Pretoria is the executive capital, Cape Town is the legislative capital, while Bloemfontein is the judicial capital. TRAVEL INSURANCE Do You Need? I’ve said it before, South Africa certainly is one of the adventure capitals of the world. An adventure-traveler’s delight. You can swim with sharks, jump off the highest commercial bungee in the world, go on epic hikes, or paraglide off mountains. If you’re planning on getting your adventure on during your travels in South Africa, do make sure that yourtravel insurance covers extreme sports activities. You’ll also need general comprehensive travel insurance. With this country in Africa being a relatively far destination for most visitors, it is always a good idea to make sure you’re covered for any flight cancellations and unwanted trips to the hospital. South Africa Travel Tips On Arrival at the Airport TRAVEL PASSPORT Entry and Exit Requirements Make sure to have at least two blank pages available in your passport should you require a visa to travel to South Africa. Otherwise one blank page is sufficient, even though only half a page is needed for the stamp at immigration. Your passport must be valid for at least 6 months after the date of departure from South Africa. SOUTH AFRICA VISA REQUIREMENTS You may need a visa to enter South Africa, depending on your nationality. Citizens of 48 countries, including Canada, USA, Australia, Ireland, and the UK, can enter South Africa for tourism for up to 90 days, while passport holders from an additional 28 countries can spend up to 30 days visa-free. All other travellers and foreign nationals need a visa to enter. Apply in person in the country of your ordinary residence or citizenship from a South African Embassy or Consulate. A system is in the process of implementing the online tourist eVisa application that will make it easier and faster to get a travel visa arranged before the trip. No extension is available on tourism visas. MONEY MATTERS IN SOUTH AFRICA The currency is the Rand, which is divided into 100 cents. There are R200, R100, R50, R20 and R10 notes. Coins come in R5, R2, R1, 50c, 20c, 10c and 5c. Automatic teller machines (ATM) are situated in every mall and outside most banks in towns and cities, operating 24 hours a day. Always advise your bank of our intention of travelling outside of the country so that your purchases are not blocked while abroad. Credit Cards All major international credit cards such as MasterCard, American Express, Diners Club and Visa are widely accepted. You can’t purchase fuel with a credit card but you can pay road tolls with MasterCard or Visa. In some small towns and smaller shops, you may find you’ll need to use cash. You will also need cash for tips. I recommend withdrawing cash from the ATM when you arrive. You will get a better exchange rate from the machines when compared to using a currency exchange service at the airport. There are plenty of ATM’s around so just take out as much as you think you may need for a few days, rather than carrying large amounts of cash. Current exchange rate: 1 ZAR = 0,066 USD IS SOUTH AFRICA CHEAP How to save money South Africa is an affordable destination, particularly when visiting from a country with a stronger currency exchange. Nevertheless, here are some ways to save money while travelling through the country: Visit South Africa during the shoulder or off-peak season This means planning a trip to South Africa in Autumn (March to May) or Spring (September – November). The weather is pleasant and costs are not inflated. A great way to get around South Africa on a budget over longer distances is by using the bus. My recommendation for a reliable, efficient company: Greyhound. They have an extensive long-distance network or routes across the country. Choose outdoor activities that are free or cost little to nothing. Hiking is a particularly good option and the abundance of routes will delight you. Choose from Lion’s Head or Table Mountain in Cape Town to the Fanie Botha Trail in Mpumalanga and the Drakensberg Grand Traverse in Kwa Zulu Natal to Wild Coast Hike in the Eastern Cape. The options are almost endless. Include camping There are variety of well-maintained, affordable campsites throughout South Africa, from Tsitsikamma National Park to Kruger National Park and a handful in-between. Is South Africa Africa’s wealthiest country? Check out the full list here. TRAVELLING WITH CHILDREN All minors require the consent of their parents when travelling into or out of South Africa. From 1 June 2015, parents or guardians travelling with children under the age of 18 will need to carry and yield on request an unabridged birth certificate along with a valid travel document. There are additional settings for minors travelling with only one parent or unaccompanied. These rules should be checked confirmed prior to arrival in South Africa. Although no longer compulsory as of December 2018, South Africa immigration officers still reserve the right to request a copy at their individual discretion. BAGGAGE RESTRICTIONS Do take note of the following baggage restrictions applied at OR Tambo International Airport: Only regular-shaped bags will be allowed to be checked in. This means that the bags must have at least one flat surface to be accepted. Round or irregular-shaped bags will not be allowed. Bags with longs straps will not be allowed. Passengers who try to check in bags that don’t conform to these rules will have the option of having their baggage wrapped with one flat side at airport-approved baggage wrapping stations. AIRPORT CUSTOM ALLOWANCES Currently the following duty-free allowance applies per person: 200 cigarettes, 250 grams of tobacco and 20 cigars, two litres of wine, one litre of other alcoholic beverages, , 50 ml of perfume and 250 ml of eau de toilette. Also, gifts, souvenirs and all other goods to the value of R 500.00. No person under 18 is entitled to the alcohol or tobacco allowance. Duty is levied at 20% thereafter. Tax Value Added Tax (VAT) Tax Value Added Tax (VAT) of 15% is levied in South Africa. International travelers taking goods out of South Africa are able to reclaim the VAT that they paid on these goods. Reclaiming VAT is only applicable for goods that you are able to produce at the airport and not for any services whatsoever. When purchasing your products you should request a tax invoice. VAT Reclaim Offices are found at Johannesburg, Durban and Cape Town Airports. Before departing, visit the customs official offices where your invoices and goods purchased will be inspected. Once your invoices have been approved and stamped, the VAT Reclaim Office will refund you the appropriate amount. MOBILE SERVICE IN SOUTH AFRICA Mobile data connection If your phone is unlocked, you can purchase a local pay-as-you-go SIM card from one of the many vendors around the country. The big four network operators in South Africa are Vodacom, Cell C, MTN, and Telkom. You can also get a SIM card at the airport on arrival, but it’s a usually more expensive. You do need to show identity, such as passport, and address/proof of where you’re staying, in order for the card to be activated. You can get data bundles that will help you stay connected as well as airtime for any phone calls you need to make. Do note that data costs are relatively high, so save all the browsing and downloading for when you’re able to connect to free wifi. Also, internet speeds are not the greatest, for the most part. But, good enough to get things done. Mobile Phone Coverage Cellphone coverage and network availability is extensive and easy to access. This means you’re not going to be unplugged from the outside world or family and friends back home while travelling in South Africa. However, it is worth noting that many remote areas, don’t have cellular reception or internet connection. The international dialling code for South Africa is 27. Emergency numbers: 112 for any emergency from a cell phone, 10111 for police response, 10177 for ambulance response. Tips when Travelling through South Africa ELECTRICITY SUPPLY Power Adaptor The South African electricity supply is 220/230 volts with sockets accepting either two-pin or three-pin rounded plugs. Hotels often have 110 volt sockets for electric razors and a USB socket for other electronic items. A travel (power plug) adaptor will be needed for the South African round 3-pin plug. TIPPING ETIQUETTE IN SOUTH AFRICA Whilst tipping is certainly not obligatory, the amount of the gratuity should express the degree of satisfaction that you have obtained. Tipping 10 – 15% of the service fee is common practice (e.g. restaurant bills, taxi fares etc.) The above are merely guidelines and you should be comfortable with the gratuity you give. On safari it is customary to tip your guide and tracker, and this is variable based on the length of your stay, group size, experience, service, etc. Remember, even a little (a couple rands) goes a long way. CAN YOU DRINK THE WATER Testing and treatment of the tap water is up to general standards and as a result it is perfectly safe and good to drink straight from the tap. Remember to bring a reusable water bottle and fill it up throughout the day. You don’t have to worry about buying bottles of water while travelling in South Africa. Bottled water can be used as an individual preference or when in areas where the mineral content is higher than normal. This could happen, for example, when staying at a safari lodge, but the accommodation will be able to advice in this regard. These remote locations when on game drives often have a water filtration system in place to make the water drinkable. Water shortages: There have been water restrictions throughout the country in recent years and there were real fears that Cape Town would run out of water in 2018. The situation has drastically improved since, but even if water seems plentiful, please don’t waste it. GETTING AROUND SOUTH AFRICA Public transport is certainly not up to standard and there isn’t much of a system in place. However, travelling around South Africa is possible by air, road, and rail. It is recommended to use Uber or Bolt for shorter trips and to get around in the major cities. This service is convenient, practical, and cheaper than metered taxis. Background checks are done on the drivers to make sure their driver’s licenses are real. There is also the Gautrain rapid transit railway system in Gauteng Province which links Johannesburg, Pretoria, Ekhuruleni and OR Tambo International Airport. Another means of getting around South Africa are luxury inter-city bus services such as Greyhound and Trans-Lux. DRIVING IN SOUTH AFRICA Car rentals are legit Another worthwhile recommendation is to hire a car to get around. Having a car is the most viable way of seeing the region. It makes it convenient and easy to explore the country, whether it be along the Garden Route, through the Drakensberg mountains, or a self-drive safari in the Kruger National Park. A couple things to note about driving in South Africa: — Driving is on the left-hand side of the road. — Keep in mind that the speed limit on major motorways is 120km/h (75mph). — Do take note in preparation and implementation, that distances take longer to drive than Google Maps suggests. — A valid international driver’s licence is required. — Wearing seat belts is compulsory and cellphones can only be used ‘hands free’. — Most global car hire firms have branches in South Africa — When renting a car: get full insurance protection, be vigilant of speed drivers, and keep nothing of value in the vehicle (or keep it in the boot, if you must). — Manual/stick shift drive cars are particularly common in Southern Africa. If you are not comfortable with manual drive, ensure you select an automatic drive car when renting. FUEL STATIONS: GARAGES The fuel stations (called garages) are not self-service like in some parts of the world, but are staffed by attendants who will fill up your car for you. Here you will also be asked if you want your windscreen washed, tyre pressure checked, oil and water replenished. It’s polite and customary to tip the attendant a couple rands for their service. Even a small amount goes a long way and is always appreciated. CAR GUARDS Parking attendants Often, wherever you park, be it outside restaurants, at the beach, supermarket, amongst others, will find young men offering to watch over your car and protect it from break-ins while you’re away, in exchange for some payment (a few rand) on your return. Some of these car watchers are officially hired by the venue and some are young unemployed guys just trying to earn some money. STOPPING AT TRAFFIC LIGHTS Speaking of traffic lights, don’t be surprised to see guys selling all sorts of items at busy intersections. These items range from newspapers to toys, bags, and electronic accessories, among others. Apart from selling items, you will also find some guys begging, collecting rubbish or handing out flyers. I politely decline if not interested. PEOPLE OF SOUTH AFRICA People are generally friendly, willing to help should the need arise, and excited to share their stories and culture with you. Don’t let the misconstructions and impressions of the apartheid days make you think otherwise. Men generally greet each other with a handshake, while women greet with a kiss on the cheek. If you’re not sure, a handshake is a safe bet. LANGUAGE IN SOUTH AFRICA There are 11 officially recognised languages, most of which are indigenous to the country. English is spoken everywhere you go so it is fairly easy to communicate as you go around. English is the language of the cities, of commerce and banking, of government and official documents. All the road signs and official forms are in English and service staff will speak English. Official languages: Afrikaans, English, Ndebele, Northern Sotho, Sotho, SiSwati, Tsonga, Tswana, Venda, Xhosa, and Zulu! >> Related reading: Learn how to say hello and thank you in South Africa and around the world here. LOCAL PHRASES In South Africa, roundabouts are called circles and traffic lights are referred to as robots! So, don’t be surprised if you’re told to continue past the circle and turn left at the first robot. Howzit is a common greeting that is used instead of hi or how are you while lekker is an Afrikaans word that is now mainstream, meaning nice, awesome, or good. SOUTH AFRICA TIME Time zone: South African Standard Time is Greenwich Mean Time GMT + 2 hours. Central European Winter Time +1 , and Eastern Standard Winter Time +7. The country does not change its clocks during the year, and there are no regional variations within the country. Speaking of time, apart from Johannesburg, South Africa operates on a laidback, slow pace. This is the wonderfully slow South African way, as rarely are things on time. Embrace it as you’ll be back home and rushing around before you know it. Also, locals tend to eat dinner earlier in the evening than the rest of the world average. On the same note, attractions tend to close earlier than the rest of the world average. Take note of this when planning. WHAT IS THE FOOD LIKE IN SOUTH AFRICA A trip to South Africa is guaranteed to encompass good food as the country boasts an amazing variety of restaurants from fine dining to casual eateries. The vast number of supermarkets are also stocked with a wide range of produce, making self-catering simple. >>Related reading: Crazy weird foods around the world (including mopani worms in South Africa) Full details HERE The ever popular braai The country is big on meat. “Braais” the Afrikaans word for grilled meat, comparable to a BBQ, is insanely popular all over. Any social gathering is bound to have a braai going on. Confession: I am not a fan of the braai, in the least. I know, what kind of local am I? Other popular dishes to try include chakalaka, potjiekos, malva pudding, bobotie, mealie pap, bunny chow, melktert, and the ever popular biltong. Dining out At restaurants, waiters do not automatically bring the bill at the end of the meal, but will wait until you ask for it. Post-meal etiquette Taking your meal home in a “doggy bag” is completely normal. SMOKING LAWS In accordance with South African law, do note that smoking is prohibited in public areas and buildings, unless they are specifically designated as smoking areas. SAFARI IN SOUTH AFRICA There is a plethora of game reserves where you have the potential of seeing some incredible wildlife, including the big 5, in their natural habitat. If you’ve been about seeing animals in the wild, South Africa is your calling. It can be dry and very dusty on game drives through the reserves. Be sure to take a scarf and sunglasses along, as this will come in handy. It is also recommended to bring your own pair of binoculars along. National Park fees Each of the SANS national parks are individually gated, even when within a brief distance of each other. This means an entry fee needs to be paid for each park. The non-residential fee is often three times the rate for locals. Watch out for baboons In the national parks and some rural regions, there is a real hazard of baboons going through your belongings should they smell food. Ocean currents You won’t be able to spend a whole lot of time in the waters along the West coast, as these tend to be icy cold from the Benguela current. On the other hand, waters on the East coast are perfectly suited for swimming. DO BRING MORE MEMORY You may just need more memory cards than initially anticipated for all the moments that you will want to capture while traveling South Africa. IT MAY BE ADDICTIVE Yes, many travellers often return to South Africa after that initial experience. You might just become one of them. >> Get hyped for your trip to SA with this: Be sure to check out this list of the best places to visit in South Africa for first timers BACK TO THE TOP OF THE PAGE
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