TRUCKER JOKES & SONGS
Trucker jokes and songs have been a part of American culture for decades. They originated in the 1930s when trucking became a popular industry. Truckers would often entertain themselves on long hauls sharing jokes and singing songs. These jokes and songs often revolve around the trucking, including the long hours, the open road, and the camarader among truckers. Today, trucker jokes and songs continue to be a beloved part of American culture and are enjoyed by truckers and non-truckers alike.
Super-Trucker-Festival
Vierhundertsechzig PS Motorgedröhn klingt für Supertrucker-Ohren superschön. Wenn die Luft nach Diesel und nach Gummi stinkt und der superbreite Reifen auf dem Sphalt singt, dann geh'n jedem Trucker Herz und Ohren auf, das ist Balsam für die Seele, da lebt er richtig auf. Come on, come on! Come on an truck it! Hinterm Lenker auf der Piste fühlt er sich wohl, er hört meistens Country Music, manchmal Rock 'n' Roll, das turnt ihn richtig an ung gibt ihm die Kraft, daß er, ohne viel zu schlafen, auch die längsten Touren schafft. Und regelmäßig, jedes Jahr so acht- bis neunmal, ist er auf 'nem supergeilen Super-Trucker-Festival. Come on, come on! Come on an truck it! Super-Truck, Super-Truck, Super-Trucker-Festival Ewig mit dem Laster unterwegs ist seine Welt, und für viele Möchte-gern-Trucker ist er ein Held. Doch manchmal, wenn er übermüdet in der Koje liegt und sein ruheloses Leben so an ihm vorüberfliegt, dann ahnt er, dann spürt er, er weiß es ganz genau: Es ist schon viel zu spät für Kinder und 'ne Frau! Come on, come on! Come on an truck it! Super-Truck, Super-Truck, Super-Trucker-Festival
Wenn Trucker weinen
Ich erinner’ mich noch heute an meine erste Fahrt. An Bord von meinem Diesel, es war ein großer Tag. Ich sagte meiner Lady: Ich glaub` ich muß jetzt gehen. Sie gab mir noch ein Foto mit, hab` ihre Tränen wohl übersehen. Ich musste fahren, um endlich frei zu sein. Doch in den Nächten auf der Autobahn, bin ich einsam und allein. Oh, es ist nicht so easy, wie es manchmal scheint. Ich frag` mich , wieso die Leute meinen, dass Trucker niemals weinen. Und jetzt drehen sich meine Räder durch den Regen dieser Nacht. Die Ladung muß am Ziel sein bis morgen um halb acht. Vor mir liegt das Foto, das sie mir zum Abschied gab. Sie ist mit `nem anderen durchgebrannt, kam mit meinem Job wohl nicht mehr klar. Ich musste fahren, um endlich frei zu sein. Doch in den Nächten auf der Autobahn, bin ich einsam und allein. Oh, es ist nicht so easy, wie es manchmal scheint. Ich frag` mich, wieso die Leute meinen, dass Trucker niemals weinen.
Tackle An' Baite
I sit here in the morning sun, just waiting for the fish to jump, And looking out across the lake, nothing worries me. Woke up early as the day began to roll the night away, The moon has gone behind the hill, it’s just the world and me. Soon the summer days will go as autumn brings the winter snow, Haven’t seen a fish all day, but that don’t bother me. The only bite I ever got was from that bug that bit a lot, The night before when I was sleeping, cosy as can be. REFRAIN: Tackle an’ baite, fishing line, whistle and wait have got the time. Fishing is good for heart and soul, never too young, never too old. I sit here in the burning sun, just frying up and overdone, But I just know I’m gonna get a fish upon the line. I think of all those friends of mine who sit around, just wasting time, Never knowing what to do to occupy the mind. REFRAIN And now the sun is going down, the evening shadows come around, And I’m still sitting here without a fish upon the line. It’s getting cold and getting late, but something tells me, if I wait, I’m gonna satisfy this feeling, all I need is time.
Cops & Truckerelling
DER EINE WACHT ZUHAUSE AUF IM BREITEN DOPPELBETT DER ANDERE IM FÜHRERHAUS AUF`NM SCHMALEN POLSTERBRETT DEN EINE RUFT DER FRÜHSTÜCKSTISCH SIE KOCH KAFFEE FÜR IHN DEN ANDERN RUFT DER DISPONENT UND POCHT AUF DEN TERMIN COPS UND TRUCKER ZWEI JOBS - ZWEI MACKER DER EINE KONTROLLIERT DER ANDERE TRANSPORTIERT COPS UND TRUCKER DER GLEICHE ACKER ZWEI UNGLEICHE JOBS TRUCKER UND COPS DIE AUTOBAHN IST ARBEITSPLATZ DA TREFFEN SIE SICH DANN JEER WEISS VOM ANDER`N JEDER HAT SO SEIN PROGRAMM PAPIERE REIFEN FAHRTENSCHREIBER HALT DEN TRUCK MAL AN ZEIT IST GELD LASS MICH IN RUH DIE LADUNG MUSS AN MANN UND WENN DER TAG ZU ENDE GEHT DANN FÄHRT DER EINE HEIM DER ANDERE SUCHT`N AUTOHOF UND PARKT DIE KARRE EIN DER EINE QUATSCHT MIT SEINER FRAU UND LEGT SICH DANN ZU IHR DER ANDERE QUATSCHT KOLLEGEN VOLL UND GÖNNT SICH NOCH`N BIER COPS UND TRUCKER ZWEI JOBS - ZWEI MACKER DER EINE KONTROLLIERT DER ANDERE TRANSPORTIERT MANN KENNT SICH AUF DER PISTE MAN SIEHT SICH JAHR FÜR JAHR MAN SCHLÄGT SICH UND VERTRÄGT SICH WIE`N ALTES LIEBESPAAR TRUCKER UND COPS...........TRUCKER UND COPS
Ring Of Fire
Love is a burning thing, and it makes a fiery ring. Bound by wild desire, I fell into a ring of fire. REFRAIN: I fell into a burning ring of fire, I went down, down, down, and the flames went higher. And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire, the ring of fire. I fell into ... The taste of love is sweet when hearts like ours meet. I fell for you like a child. Oh, but the fire went wild. I fell into ... I fell into ... And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire, the ring of fire, the ring of fire, the ring of fire.
Truckertraum
Ich wünsche mir ein Führerhaus mit Bad, wie es kein anderer Trucker bisher hat, und du Cisco? ‘ne Massageliege wäre auch nicht schlecht. Nach ‚ner vollen Scheibe käm’ die gerade recht. Doch dann hupt’s und ich sehe die Realität, den Alltag, die Strasse und die Zeit. Und dann weiß ich, dass es vorerst genauso weitergeht, dass dies ein Truckertraum nur bleibt. Ich wünsche mir ‚nen Autopilot Auch nicht schlecht! wenn ich müde bin und schon fast tot. Dazu ‚ne Maus und ‚n Wasserbett, dann wär’ mein Job doch richtig nett. Doch dann hupt’s und ich sehe die Realität, den Alltag, die Strasse und die Zeit. Und dann weiß ich, dass es vorerst genauso weitergeht, dass dies ein Truckertraum nur bleibt. Ich wünsche mir ‚ne Sauna und ‚nen Pool, und ‚n Quietscherentchen die ich am Rastplatz benutze, das wär’ cool. Dazu ‚ne Barfrau mit ‚ner richtigen Bar, für kühle Drinks, wenn ich bei Hitze fahr. Doch dann hupt’s und ich sehe die Realität, den Alltag, die Strasse und die Zeit. Und dann weiß ich, dass es vorerst genauso weitergeht, dass dies ein Truckertraum nur bleibt. Doch dann hupt’s und ich sehe die Realität, den Alltag, die Strasse und die Zeit. Und dann weiß ich, dass es vorerst genauso weitergeht, dass dies ein Truckertraum nur bleibt.
Daddy And Me
I’m a paragraph. Double click me or click Edit Text, it's easy.
The rockin horse that you once made me I wore it out down thru the years. Like a long lost mem'ries fadin. Bitter sweet seen thru the tears. A playtime kitchen Cowboy who sometimes fell and cried. But you were there to catch me, now why'd ya have to die. Daddy and me, lovin and lastin ties that bind. Daddy and me, two survivors in feelin in time, Daddy and me. All thru the rain and stormy waters who was there right by my side. In my wildcat years of searchin you were the captain and my guide. I always took the hardest way out like a mad bull thru the wall you always had to hold me back I'd fight before I'd crawl. Daddy and me, lovin and lastin ties that bind. Daddy and me, two survivors in feelin in time, Daddy and me. I know I'm proud and don't like cryin I guess I'm just like you. Lord but what the hell I am my fathers son now what else can I do. Daddy and me, lovin and lastin ties that bind. Daddy and me, two survivors in feelin in time, Daddy and me.
Wer hat mir den Truck geknackt
Ich fuhr mit 20 Tonnen Stahl quer durch Ennepetal, da fiel mir Luise ein. Es fing g'rade an zu schnei'n und Luise wird sich freu'n, und soviel Zeit muß sein. Luise lud mich ein auf 'ne Flasche Wein, da krieg ich 'ne Gänsehaut, ich guck so aus'm Fenster und ich denk, ich seh' Gespenster, Mann, die haben mir den Truck geknackt. Oh, wer hat mir den Truck geknackt, oh, wer hat mir den Truck geknackt. Keine zehn Sekunden - und schon war der Truck verschwunden. Mann, die haben mir den Truck geknackt. Wer hat mir den Truck geknackt, oh, wer hat mir den Truck geknackt. Für'n Augenblick Vergnügen werd' ich die Papiere kriegen, denn die haben mir den Truck geknackt. Ich rief die Polizei, die kam vorbei und meinte: "Is ja 'n starkes Stück," ich hab' nochmal gewählt und meinem Boß erzählt: "Ich komm' per Bahn zurück," - mein Boß war cool, wie's schien, doch dann hat er geschrie'n, und dann ist er zusammengesackt. Für'n Augenblick Vergnügen werd' ich die Papiere kriegen, denn die haben mir den Truck geknackt. Oh, wer hat mir den Truck geknackt, ... Wenn ich nochmal 'nen Job hinter'm Steuer krieg, dann werd' ich ein besserer Mann. Ich hab die Augen auf der Straße und den Finger auf'm Truck, den faßt mir keiner mehr an. Da wird nichts abgebaut, da wird nicht geklaut, und das ist kein dummer Schnack, ich verlasse meinen Truck wegen keiner Frau, nee, ich bring' die Frau auf'n Truck. Oh, wer hat mir den Truck geknackt, ...
Der König von der Autobahn
Ich bin der Mann, der für Euch durch die Gegend fährt, selbst wenn es regnet oder schneit. Ich wär' so gern bei Euch zu Haus', doch dafür hab ich leider keine Zeit. Immer auf der Piste, immer unterwegs - Der König von der Autobahn ist zu Haus' der kleine Mann. (2 x) Das Autobahnkreuz bei Frankfurt ist schon wieder einmal dicht, plötzlich denk' ich an die Kinder, sie denken sicher nicht an mich. Uwe hört wahrscheinlich Rockmusik, Tina ist bei ihrem Freund - Der König von der Autobahn ist zu Haus' der kleine Mann. (2 x) Ein kurzer Regenschauer, die Straße naß und glatt, ich denk' an meine Frau und das, was sie mir angetan hat. Ich weiß, sie macht es wieder, denn sie ist zuviel allein - Der König von der Autobahn ist zu Haus' der kleine Mann. (2 x)
Hallo Freunde
Schön, daß ihr hier seid und wir bei euch, verstecken muß sich keiner, hier bei uns. So, wie jeder sein will, so kommt's aus ihm raus, ohne Angst, der andere lacht ihn aus. Hallo Freunde, gut, daß es euch gibt. Hier ist man zuhaus' und fühlt sich frei. Hallo Freunde, bleibt euch selber treu und vergeßt nicht - jeder Tag ist neu, und vergeßt nicht - jeder Tag ist neu. Keiner baut 'ne Mauer, keiner sucht sich Schutz. Unter uns gibt's keinen, der das braucht. Danke an euch alle, gut, daß ihr so seid, Hoffnung für die allernächste Zeit. Hallo Freunde, ... Schön, daß ihr bei uns ward und wir bei euch, Freundschaft und Vertrauen braucht die Welt. Keiner sieht es anders, jeder sieht es so, nicht nur hier und heut' - auch anderswo. Hallo Freunde, ..
Keep on truckin'
Keep on truckin’ bleib’ nicht steh’n Und lass die Räder dreh’n. Nimm dein Leben in die Hand Und mach das beste draus. Wenn dein Leben voll im Stau steht und alle Ampeln steh’n auf rot wenn du glaubst die ganze Welt ist gegen dich wenn aus eins und eins nicht zwei wird du dir selbst im Wege stehst und es scheint dir weit und breit kein Land in sicht, dann spuck in die Hände schau nach vorn und nicht zurück. Nur wer sucht, der findet auch sein Glück! Keep on truckin’ bleib’ nicht steh’n irgendwie wird’s weitergeh’n. Auf dem Highway des Lebens Geht’s nicht nur geradeaus. Keep on truckin’ bleib’ nicht steh’n Und lass die Räder dreh’n. Nimm dein Leben in die Hand Und mach das beste draus. Nur wer niemals was riskiert, kann auch niemals was verlier’n. Und wer niemals Fehler macht, hat nie gelebt. Bleib ganz einfach wie du bist, ganz einfach Optimist. Morgen siehst du dann schon klar wie’s weitergeht Dann spuckst du in die Hände, Schaust nach vorn und nicht zurück. Wer richtig will, der findet auch sein Glück. Keep on truckin’ bleib’ nicht steh’n irgendwie wird’s weitergeh’n. Auf dem Highway des Lebens Geht’s nicht nur geradeaus. Keep on truckin’ bleib’ nicht steh’n Und lass die Räder dreh’n. Nimm dein Leben in die Hand Und mach das beste draus.
Nashville Tennessee
Ich liege hier im warmen Sand, die Sonne zieht vorbei. Der Himmel meint es gut mit mir. Ich will mich nicht beklagen, und es wäre auch nicht fair, trotzdem gibt's 'nen Platz, wo ich lieber wär. Keine and're Stadt hat's mir so angetan, und irgendwie - irgendwann - muß ich rüber nach Nashville. Grand Old Opry Nashville Tennessee Guitar Ringing Banjo Picking Jodel - didel - ley Grand Old Opry Nashville Tennessee Country Singing Fiddle Swing Jodel - didel - ley Vor mir steht die Gran' Ol' Opry - Music - City Road. Da oben rechts die Hall Of Fame. Ich sitz' in vollen Kneipen und ich höre die Musik, Country-Music, wie's sie dort nur gibt. Ich kann's nun mal nicht ändern, ich denke immer dran. Und irgendwie - irgendwann - muß ich rüber nach Nashville.
Whole bunch of trucking
K
1)i heard schneider is getting in trouble out in pa, i heard there trucks go so slow its a hazard when the omish people try and pass them.
2)There also getting in trouble with the enviormentalists for animal cruelty, there trucks dont even go fast enough to kill the bug it just break there little arms and legs.
3)Schneider is having to put bug sheilds on there trailers now they dont even go fast enough to get out of the bugs way.
4)a swift driver came in the cb shop the other day i had a galexy 66 in the box and i turn the box upsit down told it was a 99 and he gave me $450 for it.
5)A week later that same swift driver bought a galexy 33 off a driver and i heard him hollor on the radio hows this galexy double E sound?
6)i guy told me he had a triple digit truck he said it ran 66.6mph
7)A truck driver was pulled over by a State Trooper. The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab.
Figuring that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked, "Did I just see you swallow something?" "Yep, that was my birth control pill," said the driver.
"Birth control pill?" asked the patrolman.
"Yep, when I saw your flashing light, I knew I was screwed!"
8)Why doesn't JB hunt have a tanker division?
They lost too many drivers due to drowning when they tried installing load locks.
9)Have you heard about JB Hunts accident kit?
It consists of 2 gallons of orange paint and a paint brush
10)A truck driver was sitting down in a small roadside diner, minding his own business, and having a plate of spaghetti and a beer.
Before long, about 30 of the nastiest, meanest looking bikers come roaring in to the parking lot and boisterously enter the diner -- taking over the tiny place. The macho leader notices the trucker in the corner and goes over to "mark the territory."
He starts giving the trucker a hard time, but the trucker is not to be provoked. Soon the leader is frustrated by the trucker's lack of response and he dumps the trucker's spaghetti plate right on his head.
The trucker is covered with noodles and sauce is dripping down his face. He tells the leader he doesn't want any trouble and cleans away the mess with a towel provided by the proprietor.
The leader is not done with his provocation -- he tells the trucker he's a lily-livered sissy and dumps the trucker's beer right in his lap.
The trucker shoots to his feet -- the room is silent. The bikers think they're finally gonna see some action -- but the trucker just saunters over to the cash register, settles the check and strides out the door.
A minute or two passes and the leader decides to have the last word, "That guy sure isn't much of a man!"
About 10 seconds of silence follow-- The silence is shattered by the sound of mangled metal and thewords of the diner proprietor...
"And he sure isn't much of a driver either. Looks like he just ran over a whole bunch of those Harley's in the parking lot!"
11)Did You Hear About The JB Hunt Driver That Started Shooting At People At The Joplin Petro?
He Would Have Shot More But His Gun Ran Out Of Water
12)Why Did McDonalds Ban JB Hunt Drivers??
They Kept Tearing Up The Playground Equipment!
13)Why Does JB Hunt Paint Their Trailer Doors Yellow?
So The Driver Will Know Which End To Hook Up To
14)What Does Prime Inc Stand For?
Please remember I mortgaged everything I need cash
PRIME = Please Remeber I'm Missouri Educated
15)A truck driver would amuse himself by running over lawyers. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying "THUMP", and then swerve back onto the road.
One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over. He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" "I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the priest. "No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck."
The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the lawyer.
However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "THUD". Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer."
"I know", replied the priest. "Lucky I got him with the door!"
16)What Does Swift Stand For?
Slow Wagon In Fast Traffic!
Sure Wish I Finished Training!
Sure Wish I Had A Faster Truck!
Stop Whining I'm **** Trying!
Slow Women In Freightliner Trucks!
See What I **** Today
17)What's The Difference Between A Peterbilt & A Porcupine?
On the porcupine the ***** is on the outside
18)What Does A Schneider Truck & An Orange Barrel Have In Common?
They both have a dirt bag in them!
19)yal know the difference between a elephant and a state troopers car? an elephant as a trunk in the front and an ******* in the back
20) A gynecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers. He'd always enjoyed tinkering with truck engines, so he enrolled in a school for truck mechanics. When the class ended the students were given their final exam: strip a truck engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.
The gynecologist did his best - and was amazed to find he scored 150%. "How could that be?" he asked.
"Well," said the instructor, "I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. Next, I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job, really. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe."
21)I was in the TA lot watching a swift truck trying to back into a hole for the night when after quite a bit of time, the Swift driver got on the radio for help;
I helped him back in and he wanted to give me 10 dollars, I replied no keep your weeks pay.
If your truck had a trailer on it I would accept it
22)Did you hear that Navistar International and Mack are going to merge?
The new truck will be called a Corn-Dog.
23)How Do You Say JB Hunt In German?
Schneider.
24)What Does ENGLAND Stand For?
Every New Guy Leaves After Ninety Days
25)Why Did JB Hunt Stop Running Doubles?
The top one kept falling off.
The bottom one kept getting hung on stop signs
26)A JB driver was wandering around the truck stop scale in a panic. A Swift driver walks over and says what is wrong JB.
The JB driver replies I am 2,500 lbs over gross and I only have to go 5 miles with it and there is a scale on the way. The Swift driver says well when you get up to the scale cut your lights off and coast on by.
The JB driver replies thats a good idea so they part ways. The Swift driver is traveling down the road when he notices the JB driver pulled over by the DOT. The Swift driver replies what happened JB, the trick didn't work?
The DOT replies no but it would have if it would have been night time...
27)What Do You Call A JB Hunt Truck With A Reefer Unit?
Prime
28)Why Do Some Roadway Trucks Have Only One Seat?
So The Driver Knows Which Side To Get In!
29)How Do You Make A Million Dollars In Trucking?
You Start With Two Million
30)What's The Difference Between A Jehovah's Witness & A Freightliner?
At Least You Can Close The Door On The Jehovah's Witness!
31)Why does JB Hunt paint their truck frames orange?
So when they roll their truck everyone will think its a Schneider truck.
32)What Do You Get When Swift Leaves A Truck Stop?
Two Parking Space
33)An old trucker that died and went to heaven was standing at the pearly gates with Saint Peter and there sat the prettiest fleet of Petes that he had ever seen. He asked how do you get to drive one of them Petes?
Saint Peter says we dont run them we get all kinds of drivers but we haven't got the first dispatcher.(sorrydipatch it was funny tho)
34)This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door saying 'Nerds Not Allowed -- Enter At Your Own Risk!' He goes in and sits down.
The bartender comes over to him. "You smell kind of nerdy. What do you do for a living?"
"I drive a truck, and the smell is just from the computers I'm hauling."
"Okay, truck drivers are not nerds," he says and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long.
The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver is totally shocked.
"Why did you do that?"
"Not to worry, the nerds are overpopulating Silicon Valley and are in season now. You don't even need a license." The truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the freeway.
Suddenly, he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, grabbing up the computers. They are all engineers, accountants, and programmers wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen.
He can't let them steal his whole load. So, remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, killing several of them instantly.
A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him to stop. "What's wrong? I thought nerds were in season," says the truck driver.
"Well, sure," says the patrolman. "But you can't bait 'em."
35)A state trooper noticed a JB Hunt trailer upside down in the median with no tractor attached to it. The officer raced up the highway and soon caught up with a JB Hunt bobtail rig.
He pulled the bobtail over and took the driver back to the scene of the accident. The driver looked at the upside down trailer and responded; "thats not my trailer.... Mine had wheels on the bottom."
A JB Hunt driver passed a Swift truck on the interstate. Swift flashed his lights letting JB know it was ok to come back over. The JB Driver put his right turn signal on and switched lanes to the slow lane, then the shoulder, then finally off the road altogether.
The Swift driver stopped and asked JB what happened. The JB driver exclaimed the dang turn signal got stuck!
36)A new JB Hunt driver had an over gross load and the shipper was closed. The JB driver called dispatch and asked what he should do. The dispatcher said just drive around the scale.
When the JB Hunt driver pulled into the next dot scale he dodged the scale by driving across the scale masters back lawn. When the Scale Master chased the JB driver down and questioned him the driver said "my dispatcher told me to drive around the scale."
37)What does ROADWAY really Stand For?
Really Old *** Driver Working Another Year
38)A trucker driving along on the freeway notices a road sign in the distance that reads 'Low Bridge Ahead.'
Sure enough, the trucker gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police officer arrives at the scene. The cop gets out of his cruiser and walksaround to the truck driver. He puts his hands on his hips and remarks, "Looks like you got stuck, huh?"
The trucker replies sarcastically, "No, officer, actually I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas
39)What does WERNER Stand For?
We Employ Rednecks No Experience Required!
40)What does CRST Stand For?
Caution Really Stupid Trucker!
Caution Really Slow Truck!
41)Why Are Truckers Like Dogs?
They **** on tires, chase cars, live in a box, and once in a while get to bury the bone.
42)Why are Interstate Dist. Co. Trucks painted green?
So you wont notice them laying on their side in the ditch
43)What is considered driver promotion at Interstate Dist. Co.?
Being hired by Swift
44)What Does PTL Stand For?
1) Part Time Layover
2) Pathetic Truck Line
​
A trucker stops for a red light one day and notices a blonde in the car behind. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and the blonde says to him, “Hi, my name’s Julie and I thought you should know you’re losing some of your load.”
The trucker just ignores her, raises the window and proceeds down the street as the light changes. A short while later he has to stop for another red light. The blonde in the car is still behind him. Again, she jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window.
As if they’ve never spoken before, the blonde says brightly, “Hi my name’s Julie, and I thought you should know you’re losing some of your load!”
The trucker shakes his head but apart from this he ignores her again. He raises the window and drives on as the red light changes.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again.
At the fourth red light the trucker jumps out of his truck, and runs back to the blonde’s car. He knocks on the window and she lowers it.
The trucker says, “Hi, my name’s Steve, it’s winter in Canada, and I’m driving the salt truck!”
A gynaecologist was fed up with his job and so he decided to switch careers.
He’d always enjoyed tinkering with truck engines, so he enrolled in a school for truck mechanics.
After the class ended, the students were given their final exam. The task was to strip a truck engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.
The gynaecologist did his best – and was amazed to find he scored 150%.
He asked the instructor, “150%? How could score that?”
“Well,” replied the instructor, “I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. Then I gave you 50% for reassembling it perfectly. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.”
​
Drive You Crazy Trucker Jokes
Become the New Class Clown
The truck driving business can be a tough one. Long drives on lonely roads, endless diner food and possibly a slightly troubling habit of taking way too much no-doz are hard on the soul of a trucker. But, somehow they remain committed to the job and get it done. So, how about a few laughs for road? We scoured the internet for some of the funniest and best trucker jokes we could find. Pull over and check them out. A laugh is worth the stop. Besides, it's time to take your tums.
1) A trucker gets lost one day and as luck would have it he comes to a low bridge and gets stuck under it. Eventually, a cop pulls up at the scene. He walks up to the driver and with a serious look says, "Got stuck, did you?" The trucker looks back at the cop and just as serious says,
"No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas."
2) Cop pulls over a trucker and says, "Papers."
The trucker looks at the cop and says, "Scissors! I win!" Then he just drives away.
3) How do you make a million dollars in trucking?
You start with two million dollars.
4) My teacher told me I'd never get a job staring out of a window.
I guess I showed her, huh?
5) A truck driver was driving for a local snack entrepreneur from Ireland until one day, he crashed and died. At the funeral, the snack entrepreneur gave a touching speech.
He said, "He was driving me nuts alright until the bloody truck crashed."
6) A truck driver calls into dispatch.
Driver: I just ran over a pig.
Dispatch: Is it dead?
Driver: Oh yeah, dead as can be.
Dispatch: Trucks okay?
Driver: Totally a-okay.
Dispatch: Then bury the pig and keep it pushing.
Driver: Roger, that.
The trucker disconnects, but calls back a short time later.
Dispatch: What's the problem? You bury the pig?
Trucker: Yeah, but now I don't know what to do with his cop car.
7) How do truckers contact each other in Wisconsin?
They use a Milwaukee-talkie.
8) Why can't truck drivers ever fully retire?
Because they can only semi-retire.
9) Truckers are getting into trouble with environmentalists for animal cruelty these days.
Because their trucks don't go fast enough to kill the bugs. Only crush their tiny legs and arms.
10) Have you heard about J.B. Hunt's new accident kit?
It comes with a 3 gallons of orange paint and a paint brush.
11) What does a Schneider truck and an orange barrel have in common?
They both have a dirt bag in them.
12) How do you say J.B. Hunt in German?
Schneider.
13) Why are truckers just like dogs?
They pee on tires, chase cars, live in a box and once in a while, get to bury a bone.
14) A trucker pulls over at a diner and orders a cheeseburger, a cup of coffee and one slice of cherry pie. While he's waiting for his food, three huge bikers come in. When the trucker's food comes, he doesn't get the chance to eat it. The first biker takes the trucker's cheeseburger. The second biker takes the trucker's coffee. And the third biker takes the trucker's slice of cherry pie. The trucker says nothing, gets up and walks out of the diner. A guy at the counter says to the cashier, "Wasn't really much of man, huh? He didn't do anything."
The cashier only replies, "Yeah, not much of a driver either. He just backed into three motorcycles while pulling out of here."
15) What do you get when Swift leaves a parking lot?
Two parking spaces.
I hope these jokes help make the long nights out on the road just a little more bearable. Keep on trucking, good buddy. Don't forget to honk that horn at unsuspecting motorists. They love having the daylights scared out of them. You can tell by the way they swerve all over the place. Happy trails to all you truckers out there!
Looking for a great truck driver joke with lots of trucker slang to tell your friends? Well, curl up with a trucker's cheeseburger and a slice of apple pie and here these great trucker slang jokes that will have you laughing so hard you need a tow truck driver to come pick you up. The trucking industry is full of great trucker joke opportunities, and if you drive a big rig or semi truck you will love these jokes and thinking about them as you cruise down the highway or sit at a truck stop. Turn on your headlights and fry up some crisp bacon, as that blonde waitress isn't gonna remember your order correctly this time either. Don't let your trailer run away, these trucker jokes will make you the funniest person at the truck stop on the highway, and no funny videos or the ugliest woman on the planet could make you or your truck mechanics laugh harder at the truck stop cafe. The mechanic or priest hitchhiking joke is a good one to tell to a police officer, garbage truck driver, or your trucker husband who loves his big rig and trucker jokes. These jokes are fun and get lots of truck driver nods, even if they drive a diesel semi truck. That police officer in his police car or on a motorcycle won't even bother opening your trailer door if you tell him a hitchhiker joke like these ones, and a blonde joke truckers always love to hear at the truck stop cafe, and annoy the waitress. have some fun with your truck mechanics or garbage truck driver today, as these truck driver jokes will make even the motorcycle gang laugh.
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Trucker Jokes
Get ready to rev up your sense of humor with a collection of hilarious trucker jokes that are sure to have you laughing all the way down the open road. Whether you’re a truck driver yourself or just a fan of big rigs and the jokes that come with them, these jokes are bound to keep you entertained. From witty one-liners to clever puns, there’s something for everyone in this truckload of laughs.
These trucker jokes are not only guaranteed to get a chuckle out of you, but they also shed light on the unique experiences and quirks of the trucking industry. Whether it’s poking fun at the long hours on the road or the infamous “trucker talk,” these jokes offer a lighthearted look at the world of truck drivers. So buckle up and get ready for a ride full of laughs with these trucker jokes that are sure to keep you entertained mile after mile.
Best Trucker Jokes
Here’s five jokes about Trucker:
1. Why did the truck driver bring a pencil to the road trip? In case he needed to draw a map!
2. How do truckers stay cool in the summer? They roll down the “highway!”
3. What did the truck say to the impatient driver? “I’m semi-occupied!”
4. Why did the truck driver carry a dictionary? To help him “navigate” through traffic!
5. What did the trucker say after delivering a shipment of cheese? “That was some gouda trucking right there!”
Family Friendly Trucker Jokes
Here’s some family friendly funny jokes about Trucker:
1. Why did the truck driver take up gardening? So he could have more “trucks” in his life!
2. What do you call a truck driver who loves to dance? The “freight shaker”!
3. How does a trucker cure a headache? He takes a “truck-load” of aspirin!
4. What did the truck say to the impatient driver? “Semi”-back off!
5. Why did the truck driver bring a pencil to bed? In case he needed to draw the curtains!
6. What do you get when you cross a truck driver with a detective? Someone who can solve “wheel-y” big mysteries!
7. Why was the truck driver always calm? Because he had a “truck” full of patience!
8. Why do truck drivers make terrible comedians? Because their jokes always seem to “miss the delivery”!
9. How do truck drivers stay cool in the summer? They just “roll” down the windows!
10. What do you call a truck driver who just woke up? “Rise and haul”!
11. Why did the truck driver always carry a map? In case he needed to “navigate” his way through conversations!
12. How do truck drivers communicate with each other? Through the “wheel”-wide web!
13. Why was the truck driver such a great singer? Because he had a “pitch-perfect” voice!
14. What do you call a truck driver who loves to swim? A “ferry trucker”!
15. Why did the truck driver start a gardening business? He wanted to make sure all his clients had “truck-loads” of flowers!
16. What did the truck driver say to the toll booth attendant? “Keep the change, I’ve got a long haul ahead!”
17. Why was the truck driver always calm under pressure? Because he had a “steady truck” to rely on!
18. How do truck drivers like their coffee? With a “diesel” shot of espresso!
19. What did the trucker say to the overconfident sports car driver? “You may be fast, but I’ve got the “truck-load” of experience!”
20. Why do truck drivers make great timekeepers? Because they’re always “hauling” to get to their destinations on schedule!
Trucker Jokes One-liners – Short Jokes
1. Why did the truck driver sit on a banana during his break? He wanted to drive on a split seat!
2. What do you call a trucker who plays guitar? A rock and roll trucker!
3. Why did the truck driver get a promotion? He was a wheely good worker!
4. Why did the trucker bring a ladder to work? He heard the pay was on the top shelf!
5. How do truck drivers stay cool in the summer? They roll down the windows and lettuce in the breeze!
6. Why did the truck driver wear sunglasses? Because it was a bright idea!
7. Why do truckers make good comedians? They have a lot of good delivery!
8. Why did the truck driver make friends with a penguin? He heard they were always cool-headed!
9. What do you call a truck driver with a sense of humor? A wit on wheels!
10. Why was the truck driver always first in line at the buffet? He knew how to merge with the food!
11. Why did the truck stop at the casino? He wanted to hit the road and the slots!
12. Why did the truck driver break up with his GPS? She kept saying he was always off course!
13. What do you call a trucker who loves puns? A pun-den driver!
14. Why did the truck driver bring a parachute to work? He heard the job had a lot of ups and downs!
15. What did the truck driver say to the stubborn trailer? “You better hitch a ride with me or we’re both going nowhere!”
16. Why did the truck driver have a pet snail? He wanted a co-driver with a slow pace!
17. Why did the truck driver pack a dictionary on his trip? To make sure his conversation steered clear of road rage!
18. Why did the truck driver start a band? He heard they were always on the road to success!
19. Why did the truck driver go to the doctor? He was feeling a little flat and needed a pick-me-up!
20. What did the truck driver say to the gossiping tire? “Roll away with that chatter and tread carefully next time!”
See also Gyro Jokes: 15 Hilarious Puns and One-Liners for Gyro Lovers
Trucker Dad Jokes
1. Why did the trucker bring a ladder to work? He heard the company was looking for a high-rise driver!
2. How do truckers communicate with each other on the road? They use semi-colons!
3. What did the dad trucker say to his daughter when she asked for the keys to his rig? “You’ll have to truck-splain why you need them first!”
4. Why couldn’t the trucker find his map? Because it got lost in transit!
5. Why did the trucker get a pet bird for his rig? He wanted a travel companion that could handle the tweets!
6. What did the trucker say to his friend who asked him to carry a heavy load? “I’ll truck it out, no problem!”
7. Why did the trucker carry a pencil and paper with him on the road? In case he needed to draw a highway!
8. Why did the trucker join the circus? He heard they needed someone who could really drive a clown car!
9. How do truckers keep their cool on long drives? They use the air-conditioning…tractor!
10. Why did the trucker become a stand-up comedian? He heard there was good mileage in trucker jokes!
11. What do you call a group of truckers that perform in a band? The Fleetwood Mac trucks!
12. Why was the trucker always the MVP on game night? Because he could always drive home a win!
13. Why did the trucker take up gardening? He wanted to see if he could grow a pickup truck!
14. What do you call a trucker who tells bad jokes? A pun-dertaker!
15. Why did the trucker start a blog? He wanted to share his thoughts on life from the road – it’s a real highway diary!
16. Why did the trucker refuse to play hide and seek? Because he always knew how to find the best spot to park!
17. Why do truckers make great chefs? Because they know how to grill up some real dieselicious meals!
18. What do you call a trucker who loves puzzles? A crossword trucker – they love a good road challenge!
19. Why did the trucker go to the doctor? He was feeling a little rundown!
20. How do truckers stay in touch with each other? They use their truck-nology!
See also Twin Jokes: Hilarious and Clever Jokes for Twins
Trucker Surreal Jokes
1. Why did the truck driver bring a ladder to the comedy club? In case he needed to “climb the ladder” to become a stand-up comedian!
2. What did the trucker say to the hitchhiking ghost on the highway? “Sorry, buddy, no room in the cab for a ghost rider!”
3. How does a truck stop become a party? When they “truck-inate” the dance floor!
4. Why did the truck driver take up painting? He wanted to “transport art” across the country!
5. What do you call a truck full of musical instruments? A jam-packed highway symphony!
6. How do you know if a trucker has been using dad jokes on the road? The highways are full of groan marks!
7. What did the big rig say to the little car at the intersection? “Don’t worry, I’ll “take the lead” on this one!”
8. Why did the truck driver take up gardening? He heard it was a great way to “haul and grow” at the same time!
9. What do you call it when a truck does stand-up comedy? A delivery of laughs!
10. How do truckers stay cool in the summer? They just roll down the diesel windows!
11. Why did the truck driver start a rock band? He heard they were great at “car-pool karaoke”!
12. What do you call a truck full of elephants? A heavy-duty circus on wheels!
13. Why did the truck driver bring a map to the comedy show? In case he needed directions on where the punchlines were landing!
14. How do truckers communicate with aliens on the highway? They use their turn signals to send Morse “code”!
15. What do you call a truck that’s also a magician? A “vanishing act” on wheels!
16. Why did the truck stop sign up for a comedy class? It wanted to work on its timing!
17. What do you call a truck driver who moonlights as a chef? A “grill master” on the go!
18. How do truck drivers stay positive during long hauls? They focus on the road ahead and “steer” clear of negativity!
19. Why did the truck driver bring a parachute on the road trip? In case he needed to “drop in” on a surprise location!
20. What did the trucker say to the talking road sign? “Hey, watch your language, we’re on a family highway here!”
Trucker Dark Humor Jokes
Here’s some funny Trucker jokes for adults:
1. Why was the truck driver always calm during traffic? He had hitchhikers in the back to keep him company.
2. What’s a trucker’s favorite game? 18 wheels of Misfortune.
3. Why do truck drivers hate going to art museums? They can’t handle all the van “Gogh” puns.
4. How did the trucker break up with his girlfriend? He said, “I think we need to put the brakes on this relationship.”
5. Why did the truck driver get a pet snake? So he could have a “hiss” on the open road.
6. What do you call a truck driver who delivers candy? A sweeter trucker.
7. Why don’t truck drivers play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding a 40-foot truck.
8. What’s a truck driver’s favorite movie genre? Semi-dramas.
9. Why did the trucker bring a ladder to work? He heard he was supposed to climb the corporate ladder.
10. What did the truck driver say when he lost his trailer? “Looks like I’m having a semi-detached moment.”
11. How do truckers send messages to each other? By using their “semi”-phores.
12. Why did the truck driver bring a map to bed? He wanted to dream of new routes.
13. What do you call a truck driver with no sense of direction? Lost cargo.
14. Why was the truck driver bad at relationships? He couldn’t handle the long haul.
15. What did the trucker say to his GPS when it gave wrong directions? “You’re driving me round the bend!”
16. Why did the truck driver get into comedy? He realized he had a knack for delivering punchlines.
17. How did the truck driver become a millionaire? He started out as a billionaire and bought a truck.
18. Why do truck drivers make terrible chefs? Because they always struggle to find the right ingredients on the road.
19. What do you call a truck driver who sings opera? A big “rig”-oroso.
20. Why did the trucker go to therapy? He had too many “emissions” to work through.
See also Steak Jokes: 25 hilarious and sizzling puns for meat lovers
How to Use Trucker Jokes In a Conversation?
Trucker jokes can be a fun way to lighten the mood in a conversation, especially when talking to someone in the trucking industry or simply looking to share a good laugh. When used appropriately, these jokes can help break the ice and create a sense of camaraderie. Here are some tips on how to effectively incorporate trucker jokes into your conversations:
Know Your Audience
Before sharing a trucker joke, consider the audience you are speaking to. If you are talking to someone in the trucking industry or who has experience as a truck driver, they may appreciate and relate to the humor. On the other hand, if you are speaking to individuals who are not familiar with trucking culture, you may need to provide some context or choose a more general joke.
Timing is Key
Like with any kind of humor, timing is crucial when it comes to using trucker jokes in a conversation. Look for natural openings in the conversation where you can seamlessly insert a joke. Avoid forcing a joke or interrupting someone to share it, as this can come across as awkward.
Use Relevant Jokes
When selecting trucker jokes to use in a conversation, opt for ones that are relevant to the trucking industry or truck drivers. This will not only make the joke more relatable but also show that you have made an effort to understand and appreciate their line of work.
Be Mindful of Sensitivities
While humor can be a great way to connect with others, it’s important to be mindful of sensitivities and avoid jokes that may be offensive or inappropriate. Steer clear of jokes that perpetuate stereotypes or make light of serious issues in the trucking industry.
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1000 Meilen Staub auf uns'ren Stiefeln
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Das alte Lied der Straße, das zog uns stets hinaus, denn so ein echter Cowboy, der bleibt nicht gern zu Haus’. Von Flensburg bis nach Garmisch, von Köln bis nach Berlin, folgen wir den Düften von Frauen und Benzin. Wir haben 1000 Meilen Staub auf uns’ren Stiefeln. Wir haben tausendmal die Koffer ausgepackt. Wir kennen jeden Kilometerstein in Deutschland, sind hier und da auch schon mal versackt. Wenn wir die Koffer öffnen, kommt Countrymusik raus. Das Salz in uns’rer Suppe seid Ihr und der Applaus. Wir können gar nicht anders und folgen unser’m Traum. Wir singen von der Straße, vom Leben und den Frau’n. Wir ziehen immer weiter, uns hält es nirgends lang. Auf jeder neuen Bühne fangen wir von vorne an. Nur dieses Leben woll’n wir, nur so fühl’n wir uns gut. Ein Leben auf der Straße, mit viel Musik im Blut. Wir haben 1000 Meilen Staub auf uns'ren Stiefeln ...
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10000 Geiger
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Jeder, der mich kennt, sagt: "Die Plattenbranche, die pennt." Wenn sie so was nicht entdeckt, wo doch soviel in mir steckt. Ich kann singen und ich spiel 'ne heiße Geige, wann war so was schon da. Mach dich auf die Socken, stell' dich vor und sag' ganz trocken wer du bist und spiel was vor, du wirst seh'n, die sind ganz Ohr. Und dann wird's den Jungs schon klar: Du bist der kommende Star! Es gibt doch zehntausend Plattenfirmen, Manager, Verlage, alle suchen, aber keiner weiß von dir. Presse, Rundfunk, Fernsehn, kein Problem, du mußt nur hingeh'n, andernfalls versauerst du hier. Riesengroßes Zimmer, nur der Plattenboß und ich. "Na dann spiel'n Sie mal was vor, aber Klassik bitte nicht." Also holte ich die Geige aus dem Koffer und dann legte ich los. Das wird wohl genügen, alles and're wird sich fügen, aber alles was sich fügte, war daß es ihm schon genügte, und er brachte mich zur Tür, und dabei sagte er mir: "Wir haben zehntausend Geiger, Komponisten, Liederschreiber, Diskotainer und 'ne Country-Band dazu. Jazzer, Rocker-Punkies, die ganz cool sind und die Teenies aus den Schulen, und jetzt kommst du." Hilf dir lieber selbst, nimm' dein allerletztes Geld, etwas kosten wird es schon, so 'ne eig'ne Produktion, und dann geh' damit zum Rundfunk, die sind froh, wenn du mit so was erscheinst. So ein Redakteur hat für so was ein Gehör, doch er meinte: "Guter Mann, was fang ich mit so was an, laß mich bloß damit in Ruh', und hör mir ganz genau zu. Wir haben zehntausend Platten, die zernagen schon die Ratten, und an jedem Tag kommt noch so 'n Schwung dazu. Alle produzieren ihre Bänder und probieren's hier beim Sender, und jetzt kommst du. Wir haben zehntausend Geiger, Komponisten, Liederschreiber, ..."
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Big White Diesel
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Selbst Trucker haben Sehnsucht nach ´nem Baby man sagt zwar, dass sie harte Kerle sind doch sie freu´n sich auf zu Haus und Truckerladys und sie träumen nachts im Cockpit von ´nem Kind Erst wollte sie vom Trucker nie ein Baby, weil die Cowboys ständig auf der Piste sind. Jetzt ist sie ohne mich allein zu Hause und hält in ihrem Arm das kleine Kind Big White Diesel bring mich schnell zurück nach Hause weil Big Daddy bald sein Baby sehen will Big White Diesel heute Nacht gibt´s keine Pause Big White Diesel bald bist du an deinem Ziel Hinter Kassel lauert ewig tiefer Nebel Big Daddy raste fast ins Unglück rein seitdem fährt Big Daddy stur auf Nummer Sicher ein Trucker läßt sein Baby nicht allein Refrain: Big White Diesel heute mach ich eine Pause 2x Big withe Diesel bring mich sicher an mein Ziel.
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Take it easy, altes Haus
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Strahlend blauer Himmel, durch mein Fenster scheint die Sonne wie noch nie. Halbverschlafen lieg' ich noch im Bett, zieh' mir die Decke über's Knie. Caesar kommt mit seiner weichen Schnauze an und möchte Gassi geh'n, doch es gibt nichts Schlimmeres als morgens aufzusteh'n. Take it easy, altes Haus, mach' dir nichts draus und schlaf' dich erst mal richtig aus, bleib zu Haus. Morgenstund' hat Gold im Mund, doch damit siehst du auch nicht besser aus. Take it easy, altes Haus, wer morgens länger schläft, hält's abends länger aus. Fang deinen Tag doch später an, dann bleibst du länger dran. Brötchen mit Kaffee und bei Musik die Zeitung lesen, das wär' schön. Und bei diesem Wetter könn't ich hinterher vielleicht mal baden geh'n, könnt' mich dann mit Judy treffen, doch von alledem wird nichts gescheh'n, denn es gibt nichts Schlimmeres als morgens aufzusteh'n. Take it easy, altes Haus, ... (2 x)
